A/N A series of drabbles about my newest and greatest obsession, Rizzoli & Isles. They are so cannon it's not even funny. All of the one-shots are established rizzlies, or implied.
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Lucky Charms
Jane padded into the kitchen, almost tripping over a giant tortoise. "Damnit Bass!" she muttered. It was way too early in the morning for her worry about Bass. She stumbled over to the coffee maker, and began making coffee. She pulled open the cupboards. Oatmeal, Gross. Organic Pancake Mix, Nope. Soy beans, definitely not. "Maura!" Jane yelled. Maura's head poked around the corner, her makeup smeared and hair tousled from sleep.
"Good morning to you too Jane" Maura quipped, tying her robe closed over her lacy underwear.
"Why don't you have any good food?"
Maura cocked an eyebrow, "I have plenty of good food."
"No, you have a bunch of healthy crap. I have to be at the station in 20 minutes and-"
"Why do you have to be at the station so early?" Maura interrupted, "Was there a homicide? Is there a body?"
Jane rolled her eyes, "You just got way too excited about the possibility of a dead body. Some people would find that creepy."
Maura sauntered forward, grabbing a mug of coffee, "and some people find it incredibly appealing" she teased.
"Yes Maur, your love of dead bodies really turns me on"
"Really? I was kidding, but if it is something that you find sexually stimulating I'm sure that-"
"Eww gross, God no Maur, no, I was being sarcastic"
A look of understanding flashed across Maura's face. "Oh"
Jane laughed. "All I wanted was something for breakfast"
Maura smiled brightly. "Well, I know how much you detest my food, which by the way is completely unreasonable because my nutritionist and I have carefully planned a diet which provides me with the optimum caloric-"
"The point Babe"
Maura reached in the back of the cupboard and pulled out a box of Lucky Charms. "For you"
Baby
Jane and Maura were sitting on Jane's couch. Jane was watching a basketball game, Maura was solving a crossword puzzle. "Babe" Jane said absentmindedly, "could you turn up the volume?" Maura slammed down her paper and shouted "No!" Jane jumped, not expecting such a visceral reaction.
"What's wrong Maur?" Jane asked, reaching forward to touch Maura's leg.
"I hate being called Babe." Maura said indignantly.
"Jees Maura" Jane sighed, sinking back into the couch. "I thought something was actually wrong"
Maura's eyebrows drew together "Something is wrong. You called me babe. I don't like that."
Jane rolled her eyes, but realized that she wasn't going to get back to the game until she dealt with this.
"All right, fine. Why don't you like being called babe?"
Maura crossed her legs primly. "Babe is what one calls a baby. I'm not a baby, I'm a full grown woman in my thirties. The term is completely inaccurate"
"It's a term of endearment Maur, 'ya know, like sweetheart or darling"
"Well then why don't you call me sweetheart or darling?"
Jane paused for a moment before answering. "Because those are for really gushy couples, and we're not gushy."
"Yeah, but in most heterosexual relationships"
"Which we are not in" Jane interjected.
"Babe is a term that the man uses, usually to show dominance" Maura continued, ignoring Jane.
"I'm not a man Maur, but yeah, maybe it's a protection thing"
Maura looked at her questioningly.
"When I call you babe, it lets everyone know that you're mine, that I'm lucky enough to get you, and that I'll do whatever it takes to keep you, and that nobody can mess with you without going through me."
Maura leaned forward and kissed Jane softly. "You can call me babe"
Hair
"MAUR!" Jane roared. Maura sighed, setting down her curling iron. She knew this was coming. She walked into the kitchen, and faced a very angry Jane, still in pajamas, mascara smudged, clutching their weekly schedule. "Why good morning Jane" she said pleasantly, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "What the hell is this?" Jane growled. "Our schedule for the week." Maura answered, knowing it wasn't what Jane asked. "Why do I have a haircut scheduled for two days from now?" "Because from the look of your ends and roots it's been at least six months since your last haircut." Jane shook her head. "I don't need a haircut." Maura put her hands on her hips. "Yes you do Jane, why are you fighting this?" Jane ran her hands through the hair in question. "Because it's me." She said stubbornly. Maura cocked her eyebrow. "I know you Jane, you are self confident enough that a few inches of hair shouldn't affect you like this." Jane growled. "I like my hair, and I don't want anyone messing with it." Maura sighed. "You are insufferably stubborn." Jane smiled, realizing she had won this argument. She moved closer to Maura, placing her hands on Mauras hips. "You like my hair too" Maura rolled her eyes as Jane slowly backed her against the wall. "My hair curler is still on" Jane nodded, "That's too bad" she murmured against Maura's neck. Maura sighed, and tangled her hands through Jane's hair. "Your hair really is too long." Jane bit Maura's ear. "Shut up babe"
