First, the usual disclaimer: I own nothing but whatever madness that you cannot recognise.
Happy reading!
--blossomedangel--
Severus Snape was hiding. He hid in the darkest corner of his bedroom, crouched on the floor, staring into space. In his head there was a film playing. It replayed the events of his past, and after thirteen hours, it had just reached his most recent Death Eater gathering.
"Severus, you have been unfaithful."
"No, my lord! I—"
"Crucio!"
Severus Snape squeezed his eyes shut, wanting to escape his memories yet forcing himself to endure the pain. The Dark Lord had kept the Cruciatus on him for over twenty minutes, and only released him just before he turned insane. And then he had allowed his highest-ranking Death Eaters to torture him with various Dark curses and jinxes. When they had finally stopped, he had been rolled onto his back, and the Dark Lord's eyes pierced into his as he stepped forward.
"You know what happens to those who betray me, Severus, my loyal servant."
Severus had given up hope of living through the night, and he was prepared. He was ready for death. He had been ready for years, wondering when he would be able to finally be able to make the final sacrifice he thought would absolve him of his sins. However, the Dark Lord had hesitated.
"You want this, don't you? You are reeking of Gryffindor nobility, Severus. I have always thought that there is nothing worse than death, but Dumbledore claims otherwise. So, for someone who works for the senile old fool, death would be more than welcome, would it not? What to do with you, Severus? Should I kill you anyway, fulfilling your wish to be a martyr? Or… no, I know what you will not be able to cope with. Run away, Severus, run!"
He had not understood then, the Dark Lord's intentions, and he had disapparated, listening to his mad laughter echoing. Just as it echoed now, in his mind. He stood up, and in a fit of rage, picked up the vase next to him and hurled it. It smashed into the wall and the fragments were scattered. He flicked his wand and the vase repaired itself and sat happily on the floor, gleaming. He half-wanted to throw it at another wall. Suddenly, the fire roared, and a tall, imperious-looking wizard stepped through. He looked at his Potions Master sadly, over his half-moon glasses.
"Severus…"
"Albus, what is it now? Come to remind me that I am completely and utterly useless to the Order? Like Black was?"
"No. I came to ask you to go and see Madam Pomfrey for your wounds."
It was true. He had returned directly to his rooms, after the meeting, gone to report to Dumbledore, returned to his quarters, and then moped about, having been excused from teaching all day. The little pests were probably jumping up and down with joy and hoping that he had died. How he wished he had. He hated this feeling. This feeling of vulnerability, charity, futility, the list grew and he slammed his fist into the wall. Why had he not been killed? Why?
"Severus, it is a Saturday, you should go out and get some fresh air."
No answer. He was too busy wallowing in his self-pity and grief.
"Severus, you aren't useless, you can still teach, you can still go out and about and make conversation with people."
"I can teach… Yes, I can still do that. But the war, Albus. What about the war? I can do nothing to help!" he cried out in exasperation.
"Severus, you still have your mind, you can help us plan, you can fight with us, you are still alive, Severus, therefore there must be something left to do that you have not done yet."
"Thank you Albus, but what use are my plans if no one will listen to them, let alone want to participate."
Albus Dumbledore sighed, this was like trying to dig through a concrete wall with a tooth-pick.
"You know them better than anyone."
"I should. I am one of them."
"You were, you are no longer one in heart nor mentally."
Severus Snape felt his heart throb painfully at the thought that he had failed. He had failed the Order. And all he had been thinking about was his own humiliation. This could cost them the whole war.
"I'm—I'm sorry, Headmaster."
Albus Dumbledore merely smiled.
"All has been forgiven, Severus. All that is left is for you to forgive yourself. You are still alive, Severus."
He, of course, had not been apologising for his past actions, but for letting the Order down, but he pretended that the forgiveness included that as well. It made his chest loosen slightly and his breathing less difficult.
"I had come to ask whether you wished to accompany Minerva on the Hogsmeade trip today, but I assume that the answer is a 'no', as usual?"
Dumbledore earned a menacing glare at the idea, and smiled once more.
"You never change, Severus. I will be going to the Ministry today, Cornelius wishes to see me, so I will hopefully see you at dinner, in slightly better shape."
With that, he disappeared through the fire. Severus was not sure what to do. He looked back at the corner, wondering what use it was to continue reliving the pain of his past, before deciding to head for the Hospital Wing.
On his way, he began to think. Why was the Dark Lord gathering everyone together? It couldn't just have been to free a disloyal Death Eater. He had been planning attack. Severus was sure of this. And it involved Hogwarts…
"Think, Severus, think!" He growled to himself.
He looked out of a nearby window and saw the last few stragglers wanting to visit Hogsmeade run from the castle, followed by Remus Lupin, the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, who was chatting with the Golden Trio. Severus scowled for a moment. Potter. How arrogant he was. Just like his father. Severus scowled before moving on.
He reached the doors of the Hospital Wing when his head snapped around so quickly that his neck clicked painfully. It had hit him. The attack. There was going to be an attack on Hogsmeade today, while students were out and about doing their Christmas shopping. Cursing, Severus ran. He never usually ran, but today, there was no choice but to break his habit of striding about the school silently. He allowed his footsteps to echo loudly throughout the empty hallways, devoid of almost three quarters of the school.
Within twenty minutes, he had reached the apparation point just outside the school gates. He apparated to Honeyduke's and caught sight of Minerva McGonagall. What a sight it must have been! The bruised and battered bat of the dungeons, streaking through the crowd, fighting off the Christmas shoppiers, trying desperately to reach his colleague.
"Minerva! Get the children back to Hogwarts!"
"What in Merlin's name—"
"There is going to be an attack, Minerva, I may be wrong, but I am not putting their lives in danger just because I was not one hundred percent sure. Get them out of here!"
She nodded, and immediately called the students who were coming out of the shops to follow her. He ran into Honeyduke's and ordered everyone out.
"I want every one of you to be as silent as the grave, or it will mean your lives." He snarled.
Petrified, the students scuttled after the fleeing crowds of other Hogwarts students, in complete silence. Severus then sought out Remus. He found him, by Zonko's.
"Lupin!"
"Snape? You've come out! That's great! Come on, let's—"
"Now is not the time, Lupin." Severus said quietly into his ear. "We need to get the rest of the students back to Hogwarts."
"Harry!" Lupin waved Potter over, to Severus' chagrin. "Can you and Mr. Thomas—"
"And Mr. Malfoy." Severus cut in, shooting a warning glare at Lupin.
Severus beckoned for Malfoy to join them and he strode over, completely oblivious to the diminishing crowds of students.
"Yes, can you three bring the rest of the students back to Hogwarts?"
"I'm sure that Mr. Potter will be able to get them back by some other means than the longer, more time-wasting path through the main gates." Severus said in an accusing tone, pointedly revealing that he knew about the stupid map.
Potter nodded at him, uncertainly.
"Well? Go!" Severus snapped.
All three began to run in different directions, gathering the remaining students. Just then, sounds of popping filled the air, and screaming ensued. Severus and Lupin gave each other nods and were about to go West, towards the direction of the Shrieking Shack, where the screaming seemed to be coming from, when Severus stopped. He spun in all four directions, looking at the fleeing children and the villagers organising themselves into defensive lines. Something wasn't right. He pressed two fingers in between his eyebrow and began to think.
The Death Eaters would not come from the North, since that was where Hogwarts was. It was too risky, because the teachers, and Dumbledore, would probably notice their presence. The South was a large, flat terrain – too conspicuous. West, where the Shrieking Shack was, or East, into the forest?
"Lupin! It's a trick! They're coming from the forest!"
The last thing Severus saw of the students was the sight of most of them ducking into Honeyduke's following Potter, as the braver adult wizards and witches came forwards and battled the approaching Death Eaters, hoping for aid.
When Severus started to hear shouts of young, familiar voices, he swore. Potter and his group of idiot sheep who liked to call themselves 'Dumbledore's Army'. were now involved. Severus had little time to intervene, for suddenly, he was ambushed by Malfoy senior.
"Well, well, traitor." He said.
Severus was now lying on the floor, with a wand pressed against his throat. Malfoy put one foot on his chest and slowly added pressure, but Severus refused to reveal his discomfort.
"Lucius."
"Severus. I never thought that you would be one of Dumbledore's pets. I heard that you missed lessons yesterday. Was it so terrible to have to live with the guilt of letting down your new master?" He hissed.
"What are you doing here, Lucius?" Severus said bitingly.
"Ah! Now that is the key! Well, since you won't be able to do anything to stop us…" Lucius said, looking around him with amusement glinting in his eyes as he saw a number of people falling to the ground, most likely with the last breath of life on their lips.
They were matched one Death Eater per wizard or witch, but half of those fighting against the Death Eaters were unskilled and untrained, or school children. So Lucius smiled evilly and kept his wand trained on Severus as he took away his only protection – his wand.
"We are here to capture and kill." Lucius said, twirling his newly found treasure - his victim's wand.
Severus' face paled considerably, much to Malfoy's delight.
"Exactly, Severus, you remember those days, don't you? You would be by my side, killing off all the men, and kidnapping all the women… well, all the good-looking ones, the old ones were left, if I recall, as corpses?"
Severus glared at Lucius. He barely noticed someone streaking past him, in the direction of the Shrieking Shack, until Lucius ordered a group of Death Eaters to chase the person. When Severus looked, he caught a glimpse of bushy hair, and groaned. Granger.
"These are children, Lucius. You have one of your own! What would you do if Draco was involved in this mess?" Severus asked.
"If the Dark Lord wished it, I would kill Draco without hesitation. It is a pity that I am under orders not to kill you… until the last battle… But I'm sure I can still torture you to my heart's content."
"You are truly sick, Lucius, willing to kill your own child for power."
"It's not as if he's very important." Lucius said, shrugging. "Rather, he's been bringing me more and more trouble. Should the Dark Lord request it, I would happily end my son's life."
"STUPEFY!"
Lucius keeled over, unconscious. He landed heavily on Severus' bruised chest. Behind him stood a red-faced Draco, who was puffing with fury written across his face. He kicked his father's unconscious body off his battered professor before helping Severus off the ground and gave him his wand back.
"Thank you, Mr. Malfoy."
"No, Professor, thank you. For letting me see what a b—"
"Incarcerous!" Severus cried, as Lucius tried to pounce on his son.
Severus stunned the Death Eater who had revived Lucius and bound him up as well.
"I had actually returned to fight by my father's side, but… no matter, You-Know-Who will punish him for estranging his son." Draco said mercilessly into Lucius' face.
Severus and Draco then fought, side by side, until someone cast the Dark Mark, and it floated to the sky.
