One normal morning in South Park, Stan, Kyle, Eric and Kenny were simply enjoying the calm and lethargic leisure of everyday life—that is, screwing around on the internet. But what leisure it was, not having to worry about war, society and famine (with the exception of Kenny, who had lost 45 pounds last week after his family came off of welfare).

The boys were browsing through a list of recommended websites, as given to them by Stan's ever-so internet-experienced Uncle Jimbo. Stan noticed an interesting URL that specifically caught his eye. "Hey guys, what's that?"

"FanFicworks," Kyle said. "Hm, we should check it out."

"Hrmrm!" Agreed Kenny.

The boys were redirected to FanFicworks, which flashed onto the computer monitor with seemingly infinite waves of text. "Post your own stories about your favorite fictional characters HERE!" the banner at the top inscribed, flashing with an uncanny, illegitimate sensitivity. Cartman shuttered.

"What the hell does that mean? Click something, goddamnit!"

"Prh," Kenny said, "Hmf prh prff hmph mpf!"

By Kenny's suggestion, Stan selected "Family Guy Stories." What they saw next was absolutely awful, even by the standards of Encyclopedia Dramatica.

"What…the…fuck."

The ungodly scriptures had unraveled onto them; "Just One Kiss: A Peter and Stewie Love Story." Many words, words, words flashed onto the screen, such as "I don't know, Stewie. You're my son… and you're just an infant. I don't know how we could ever be together…"

The very concept of Peter and Stewie Griffin having sexual conflict made each one of the boys cringe at the stomach. This predicament only escalated, as the story's eponymous moment dreadfully approached.

"What the bull fucking hell…"

"And what a beautiful, passionate, wet kiss it was… the most intense feeling a father and son had ever shared together."

"Oh shit, I can't read this anymore," Kyle said. "I mean, that's just fucking sick."

"I know," said Stan. "What the hell was that crap?!"

"Okay," Kyle continued, "so some fag on the internet was writing about Family Guy for some weird reason, and had Peter and Stewie do all that weird shit?! What the fuck! It's gross, and seriously, what kind of fucking human being writes about random characters having sex and crap?"

"Yeah," Cartman stepped in, "and most importantly, who the pig-shitting hell would want to write about Family Guy in the first place? If they're such fags, can't they just make up their own faggy characters?!"

"Well, I think they're kinda last resorting anyway," said Stan.

"Wow, fan fiction is such fucking bullshit. What do you think, Kenny?" Kyle looked beside him, but realized that Kenny was nowhere to be found. "Kenny?"

Noticing his closet door was partially open, Kyle walked over to close it; however, he noticed that Kenny was actually inside, furiously masturbating.

"Kenny! What the hell are you doing?!"

"PHR FMT PFT HRR!" Kenny justified.

"What's sexy about a fat-ass having sex with a baby?!"

Unfortunately, Kenny had no opportunity to answer. For just moments ago, he had tied a leather belt around his penis to increase the stimulation of his erection. This tight squeezing, however, had inadvertently cut off the circulation of the blood in his penis, preventing the large amount of required blood flow to be halted and build up in his body. The tumor-like swelling of blood in his artery became so massive that the vein burst and Kenny's entire circulatory system spilled out; he died as he drowned in his own blood, flowing up into his trachea.

"Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" Stan said.

"You bastards!" Exclaimed Kyle.

Cartman was still very shaken from the entire experience. All in the course of several minutes he had been scarred for life in an unimaginable manner. "You know, guys, I sure hope…"

"Hope what?" said Stan.

"I hope no one ever writes fan fiction about us."