Sentient Toys from Outer Space

"And…closer…almost there…BOOM!" I bellowed and mad-mashed the shoot buttons on the Xbox controller. "Take that you bitch!" I whooped.

I hated husks.

I loved Mass Effect…but I hated husks.

I blindly felt for the Twix Bar I left on the somewhere in front of me on the coffee table while I tried to keep my eyes on the screen. Garrus, ever the weird-ass Turian I loved, began another cutscene.

"Mesh, what's up with the whole no love for Krogan policies?" I asked the empty room with a thoughtful tone.

My brother chose that moment to walk in. He was my older brother…and a health nut…and had the "loveliest" tendency to lock me outside with that torturous bulb of Death-Light that those people of humanity call 'The Sun'.

"My god Breanne, are you going to go outside at all over Easter Break?" He sighed and bounced his basketball on the tiles flooring.

"Uh…lemme think about that…hmm…fuck no." I replied sarcastically tapping my chin in mock deep thought.

"I'm going to laugh when you grow old and fat." My brother snorted.

I smirked from where I sat and pushed the center button on the controller before turning to face my brother. "Need I remind you which one of us got a 3.8 GPA and which one of us has a 2.9?" I retorted with a smug grin.

Carlos stuck his tongue out at me before walking out the patio doors. I hummed in satisfaction before unpausing the game and playing a bit more.

~o~ 8:47 That Night ~o~

"Warm PJs, wet hair, steam from the bathroom trailing behind me like dramatic effects from a cheesy space-adventure movie…yep, that's the life for me." I murmured as I padded into my room.

Carlos could take a cold shower for once. The cheeky little gnome always wasted my hot water. I let the door swing open and slam behind me on its own. I sighed in relief.

"Hello Geek Central Control." I smiled.

Literally, my room is like the palace of gaming nerd kingdom.

Three different shelves filled to the maximum with Mass Effect books, toys, figurines, ships, cruisers, as well as a mountain of transformers comics, figures, books, movies, posters, gamers' guides, video game cartridges, collectibles, and last but not least, the whole shebang of Minecraft and Pokémon memorabilia…

And that was just the shelves…

Posters of different bands or gaming characters covered the walls, books buried the bookshelves, I had a Slender Man bedspread, and about four generations of Nintendo systems. I was in my sanctuary.

I smiled at my little collection of Mass Effect figurines. So far I had (F) Shepard, Tali'Zorah, Thane Krios, Garrus, Mordin, Legion, Wrex, Grunt, Javik, Liara, The Normandy SR2, and an honest to god Reaper. I had been stoked when I found out they were making reapers.

I was even more stoked that some Migrant Ships and the Citadel were in the first few stages of being designed and put on sale.

So I had twelve figures, two ships and ten 'soldiers'.

"Good night men, have fun in space?" I mumbled as I flopped onto bed and buried my face in the pillows.

~o~ Midnight ~o~

"Are you fucking serious brain?" I moaned as I woke up in the middle of the night.

My Death Star alarm clock read 1:23 in the morning. I grumbled crabbily at the clock and laid on the bed for a few more minutes. After a half hour of trying to fall asleep I said screw it and got out of bed. I grabbed my Mass Effect figurines and padded as quietly as I could down the stairs to the den.

I splayed them out on the coffee table.

"Eh…it was Arashu…? No, no, it's the other A goddess." I murmured. "Amonkira please let me stay silent to complete my mission." I snickered at my prayer to the false goddess.

Hitting the power button for the Xbox, I made sure the sound was turned way down before donning my headphones and redirecting the sound to play through them wirelessly. I dimmed the backlights and then finally clicked on the Mass Effect Icon.

"Let's see what we can accomplish today…err…tonight…" I rolled my eyes and picked up the game controller.

Then the Mass Effect title screen went starch white.

"The hell," I hissed in annoyance, "C'mon you stupid thing…work!"

I gave a not-too-gentle smack to the console before smacking the actual Xbox. The screen went black. Before I could say a word the entire screen jumped to life and emitted a high-squeal of noise. I covered my ears; it was like nails on a chalkboard and listening to screaming at full volume through ear buds combined!

There were violent sparks and electrical outputs as the screen and TV went totally ballistic! The thing was literally spitting out little static bolts! I tried running out of the room but tripped out the plastic bottle of Dr. Pepper I'd forgotten to pick up earlier. I saw a bright flash, brighter than the others, before everything went black.

The room went black, I didn't pass out.

Suddenly, there was movement. I got up and stumbled over to the doors to the den. It was a wonder no-one heard that noise! My parents could officially be called deaf. I flicked on the light switch and felt my jaw drop to the floor.

"Fucking donkey balls," I whispered in horror, "The fuck am I dreaming about now?"

The Reaper was having an Air-War against the much smaller Normandy while tiny Shepard and Thane shot at it with their tiny but real guns. The rest were on the table, seemingly aware of their surroundings. I tensely walked over to the Reaper and grabbed it out of the air, much to everyone's shock and opened the game drawer. I took out the safety deposit box, the fireproof/bulletproof one, and put the Reaper inside, closed the box, and put it back in the drawer.

I turned back to the little people on the table.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell's going on?" I asked tensely.

"You tell us," Thane replied from his spot on Normandy Version-Mini.

His voice was so much better in person.

Now I fainted.