Consoling Hearts

You were sitting in the back of the tent, taking no notice of anything or anyone. Food was placed beside you by Bilbo but you refused to eat. How could you eat, when your friends for many, many months died right in front of you.

You wanted it to be a mistake, that there was never a massive battle that claimed three of your dear friends, Fili, Kili and Thorin lives. You wanted it to be a horrid nightmare and wake up to find Thorin, Fili and Kili smiling back at you, telling you to snap out of it, but alas, it was all so true and not a nightmare. Thorin, when you think of him, the noble dwarf who always listened to you, was gone and you felt like your own life should end with his.

'It should be the other way round,' You thought bitterly, shaking your head a little 'I should be the one that died, not my dear friends!'

When you know Bilbo isn't looking your way, you slip out of the tent and begin to walk. Walk away from the heartache that festers inside your heart. Unshed tears fall from your eyes as you walk to the unknown.

You know you can't stay in Erebor anymore, to many memories. To be honest with yourself, you don't know where you'll go but at this present time, you really couldn't care less.

You walk down the steps leading you to the open road, when a hand grabs hold of you. You instinctively turn a little and stare into the blue eyes of the Elven King, Thranduil. Standing besides him was his son Legolas.

Both had a look of worry etched on their faces as they silently observed you. You wondered why the Elven King would stop your escape but said nothing to either of them. Instead, you tried tugging your arm away, but King Thranduil held on tighter.

"What are you doing out here, you should be resting?" asked Thranduil after a while.

You just watch him, not saying a word. You wanted out of this place. All this bloodshed and lost friends was slowly eating away at your resolve. Again you tried to pull your arm free, but again, Thranduil held onto your arm like it was very important to him.

You let out a shaky breath and frowned. Why wouldn't he let you go?

"(Y/N), where were you intending on going?" Thranduil said again, this time his voice was gentle "You are injured. Come, let me take you back to the healing grounds."

You shook your head. You did not want to go back there. To many memories. You briefly closed your eyes, remembering Thorin in that tent with you. His last words resonate inside your mind, though you wasn't ready to let him go. No, there was no way you were going back. Opening your eyes, more tears fell out as you watch Thranduil once more, wondering what he was up to.

He stared back at you with a somber expression on his face, before his face softened and slightly tilted his head as if he guessed what was really on your mind.

"Legolas, please inform Falael that we will be having a guest staying with us for a while."

"Of course Ada ." replied Legolas, gracing you with a warm smile.

He then walked back towards the healing grounds while you try and process what had just transpired. You look back at Thranduil with a quizzical look in your eyes.

"(Y/N), you need to regain your strength. As you won't go back, coming back to my realm is the better option."

You didn't say anything, as he gently took your hand in his and lead you away, towards his horse and other elves towards his realm in Mirkwood.

o0o

It had been a week since you had arrived here and you were currently in a bed. In that time, both Legolas and Thranduil refused to leave your side. You could see they were worried about you, for you were refusing to eat or drink anything. You could see the sadness in Thranduil's face which you just didn't understand.

When you first encountered him, he was very standoffish to you and the company. You vividly remember the prison cell you were in. You had always hated being in a combined place and being in the cell terrified you.

Thankfully, you had Kili with you then. His jokes soon settled your nerves. Now here you were, back in Thranduil's realm and you still had no idea why he was trying to help you. It made no sense to you.

"Please eat something, (Y.N )," implied Thranduil "This is not the way to solve matters."

You still haven't said a word since that dreadful war. You look away from Thranduil and look at the carved wooden pillars around the room. Wishing you didn't feel so empty on the inside.

"Leave us Legolas." You heard Thranduil say.

You heard Legolas get up and you caught his concerned gaze, before he walked out of the room.

"(Y/N), you are not the only one who has lost someone dear."

This brought your attention and you glance at him.

"I lost my father in the battle of Dogorlad. There is not a day that goes by when I don't think of him. Even after all this time, I miss him."

Thranduil startled you by placing his hand over yours.

"You were close to Thorin Oakenshield?" He asked.

You nod your head.

"Your love?"

You shook your head, which caused Thranduil to frown.

"What was he to you?

Taking a deep breath, you finally muster up the strength to speak back to him.

"H-He was," You swallowed "He was like a father to me."

You saw the relief on Thranduil's face.

"It is quite rare for dwarves to find affection among outsiders and yet, I can see that Thorin Oakenshield meant a lot to you. I saw him try and protect you in the battlefield and though we did not see eye to eye," Your eyes never left his "he was a good leader and would have made an excellent king."

You return your gaze at the pillars silently agreeing with him. You heard Thranduil sigh while he gently stroking the back of your hand.

"I know you won't believe me," He began "but you will get through this. I know exactly how you feel. You think it should have been you that died instead of the one you care about. That if you could bargin with the Valar or whoever you believe in, you would do anything to bring them back and take their place."

You listen quietly, thinking exactly that.

"(Y/N), think of the good memories and treasure them forever. Thorin would not like you to starve yourself and either do I."

"It is my choice!" You finally respond to him. close to tears again.

Again Thranduil sighs.

"It is the wrong choice. Thorin and his nephews would never want to see you like this."

You look back at the Elven King wondering why he was so persistent on trying to help you. After all, it wasn't that long ago you and the rest of the company, escaped this very realm, via Bilbo's ingenious idea that included barrels. So why was Thranduil being so kind to you.

"Why the sudden concern for my well being?" You finally ask him, seeing his startled blue eyes "I thought you only helped your own kind."

Thranduil tilts his head and looks down at his hand that was cupping yours. You watch him carefully, waiting to see what he was about to say or do.

"Though I do appear that I am unapproachable around others, I do care." He replied quietly.

You suddenly felt guilty and without warning, you gently squeezed his hand.

"Forgive me, I should never have judged you."

He glanced at you and his face softened.

"You were not to know (Y/N). My own heart has been heavy of late."

"Because of those spiders?" You asked him.

"Partly, I sense an evil in my forest and those spiders are only part of the problem."

You just listen to him, quietly observing him.

"This forest used to be safe but lately, my guards have to slay them," He sighed, glancing down at the covers of the bed "but the ones that are killed, others take there place. It is like a vicious circle."

You think back when you remembered Radagast's sudden appearance just after those trolls and it all slotted into place.

"It's all connected."

Thranduil looked at you with a frown on his face.

"What is?"

"The way Radagast the Brown came. He was searching for Gandalf to give him something." You replied, remembering the somber expression from Gandalf's face.

"Do you know what that was?"

You shook your head but an image of the Witch King Angmar suddenly came to your head and you instinctively placed your left hand on your forehead, willing the evil to disappear once more.

"Are you alright, (Y/N)? Do you need some assistance?" asked Thranduil.

You could hear the concern in his voice and you managed to glance at him, noticing the worry etched on his face once more. Why was he acting this way? It really made no sense to you at all.

"No, I'm fine."

"I can sense your pain, you are clearly not...fine."

You go to counter what he has said, but your mouth closes when you see the way he is looking at you. The way he was watching you, it felt like he was looking right at your soul.

"For one thing, you have not eaten anything that is given to you," carried on Thranduil "which is not the way to solve your heartache."

"I'm not hungry."

"It is a dangerous road you are treading on (Y/N), you coul get very ill."

"My liege, I am not hungry." You reply, not meeting his gaze.

You felt and saw Thranduil shift slightly in his chair before he spoke again.

"What would Thorin say, if he could see you now?"

"He would say, why am I back in your kingdom," You whispered meeting the blue eyes of the Elven King "he would not be impressed."

"I should have rephased what I said," remarked Thranduil, frowning a little now "what I meant to say was, what would Thorin say, if he knew you were not eating or drinking anything?"

You never said a word as you knew that Thorin would not be impressed by your actions. It was like Thranduil had guessed what was going through your mind, as he gently leaned nearer to you.

"Thorin would want you to eat and get healthy again. I know you are suffering from your lose, but this has got to stop!"

"So what you're saying, is that you'll force feed me!" You retort back.

"No Mellon, but there has been a lot of death this past few weeks, I would actually be sad to see your passing."

With that, Thranduil got up and walked out the room, leaving you to your thoughts.

o0o

It had been a few days since you last spoke to Thanduil. You hadn't seen him since then, though you were always thinking back to what he had said.

"I would be actually sad to see your passing."

A light tap on the door brought you out of your thoughts. You watch as the door slowly opens and in walked Legolas holding a tray.

"How are you today (Y/N)?" asked Legolas placing the tray on the bed.

"Numb." You mumbled, thinking Legolas hadn't heard you.

Only he did hear you and was looking back at you with concern. You looked down at the tray and saw many fruit in a bowl. As well as Lembas bread that Legolas had explained the previous time you had seen this, a jug of water and a goblet.

Slowly, your hand went towards the Lembas bread, completely unaware that Legolas now had a small smile on his face. He took the jug of water and poured the contents in the goblet for you, as you slowly began nibbling on the bread, for you knew you had to start living once more, even if it was still hard for you.

"What did you mean when you said you felt numb?" asked Legolas, now sitting down on the chair besides the bed.

You sighed chewing slowly, thinking of how to explain this to him.

"I feel empty," You finally reply "I feel empty on the inside. While everyone around me is trying to move on. I fear I am still stuck in a void to which I can not get out of."

You felt tears spill out of your eyes and you quickly brush them away. Legolas meanwhile, got up from the bed and surprised you by embracing you. You had always thought that elves never did this kind of thing, seeing him do this gesture was a little confusing.

"It may feel like that, (Y/N), that you think nothing will turn in your favour," He replied, pulling away a little to look at you "but you will get there. You will found yourself climbing out of this void and see things in a clearer light."

"It doesn't feel like it."

Legolas smiled at you, looking at the Lembas bread in your left hand.

"I think it is already starting," grinned Legolas, looking back at you "you are now eating."

"Is she indeed." came a voice by the door.

Legolas quickly got off the bed and turned towards the door. There stood Thranduil in a dark green robe watching the pair of you with one raised eyebrow. You quickly looked to your tray, your mind still going over things to what Thranduil had said before.

Slowly you started nibbling the elf bread, avoiding the Elven King's eyes on you. You heard movement and turn slightly, noticing Thranduil placing another chair besides Legolas, before sitting down.

"I see you have taken my advice at last (Y/N)," He observed as you slowly chew your food "going on hungar strike was never a good idea."

"Ada!" warned Legolas, glaring at his own father.

"It's already Prince Legolas," You say to him, causing him to turn and look back at you "your father means well."

You glance at both Legolas and Thranduil who had a small smile on his face, taking you by suprise.

"Though I wasn't on a hunger strike," Your eyes stayed on Thanduil's as you continued "I merely had no appetite."

"It is understandable," said Legolas "because of the circumstances."

All you did was nod your head as you took another bite of the Lembas bread. Again avoiding Thranduil's piecing gaze as you began chewing again.

o0o

A little later, you were reading a book that Legolas had kindly lent you when there was a tap at the door. Glancing at the door, you saw Thranduil step in. He silently closed the door and walked towards you.

"My leige." You say to him, gracing him with a smile.

"Please, call me Thranduil."

He then sat down across from you, as you placed the book you were reading, aside.

"Will you tell me how your really feeling?" asked Thranduil, watching you intently.

You knew lying wouldn't work with him so you repeated what you had said earlier to Legolas. Thranduil got up and moved his chair nearer to you, before sitting down once more.

"It will take time (Y/N), but it will get easier."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"It will," assured Thranduil "Take it from someone who has been down the path you are currently on."

You watch Thranduil carefully, noticing him look forlorn.

"Your father." You whispered.

He tilts his head watching you, before he replies,

"It is not just my father I have grieved for. I haved grieved for my wife and now my elk," Thranduil paused, now looking down at the book you were currently reading "things have a way of repeating themselves. I prefer peace and quiet, but instead of feeling safe, my forest is slowly turning against me."

You had never seen Thranduil like this. You were used to his standoffish behavour, but since being back here, he keeps surprising you with his insight of his kindness. You are slowly starting to like this side of him and you hope it stays.

"I just wish my forest was the way it was once more, instead of those spiders ruining everything."

"One day, your forest will be restored to its former glory my...Thranduil," You reply softly to him, he looked up and watched you "something is causing these spiders to be in your forest and until the source is destroyed, those spiders will be here to stay."

"Who are you really (Y/N)?" asked Thranduil, smiling warmly at you.

"I don't think I follow."

"You accompanied thirteen dwarves and a hobbit, as well as Gandalf himself. Just who are you?"

"Just a lady that wanted an adventure." You reply.

It was true, you had always been a curious woman, always roaming around Middle-earth, taking in the beauty of the place you went too. It was while you were in Gondor, when you first met Gandalf the Grey. He obviously saw something in you and had invited you to travel with him for a while.

It was while you were in Imladris, when you first had your strange dream. About a dragon destroying a mountain named Erebor and how a noble looking dwarf, (who you would meet decades later as Thorin Oakenshield) trying to save many other lives from this terrible dragon and you knew it was vividly remember the next morning, Gandalf could see that something was troubling you and you explain what you had seen in your dream.

You slowly explain all this to Thranduil. That many, many years later you accompanied Gandalf to Bree, meeting Thorin for the first time. You remembered that he was very rude to you but you completely ignored him. You just quietly listen to what Gandalf had to tell him.

When Thorin turned up at The Shire, he acknowledged you with a small smile and a nod and that was how Thorin would become very protective of you when the quest was riddled with Orcs, Wargs and Goblins, among other things.

Then Thorin caught the gold sickness and you had no idea on what to do. He was so rude to everyone, including yourself that you fled Erebor and headed back to Laketown, where Fili, Kili, Bofur and Oin were still residing.

"Was you and Thorin romanticly involved?" asked Thranduil, when you suddenly trailed off from your story.

"You asked me that before and the answer remains the same. No!" You sighed "Thorin was like a father figure to me. I did love him, but in the way you love your son."

Thranduil nodded and smiled at you once more.

"You can see future events?"

It was your turn to nod your head, not knowing where this was going.

"That explains the other day," You frowned at him, not understanding "you appeared to be in pain and placed your hand on your forehead."

You look away, remembering what you had seen.

"It was the Witch King Angmar," You explained quietly, closing your eyes "that is what saw in my mind."

You heard Thranduil suck in his breath and you opened your eyes, glancing back at him.

"That is not possible, the Witch King Angmar is no more."

"And yet I saw him!" You reply "It is connected to whatever Radagast had given to Gandalf. I believe the bigger picture is slowly showing itself."

You were taken aback at how easy it was talking to Thranduil. Your first encounter wasn't pleasant but with his offering you with some support to your own heartache, it was quite refreshing to see this side of him.

"Do you think it is connected to the spiders?" asked Thranduil, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Nothing would surprise me," You surmised "and it would explain why Gandalf went on his own, before the battle took place."

"Where did he go?"

"He never explained where he was heading, he only told us to follow the path in Mirkwood."

"To which you didn't do." smirked Thranduil.

You felt your face go warm and you glance down, hearing him chuckle.

"We followed Thorin's lead."

"Indeed."

Sudden images of Thorin, Fili and Kili came to your mind when you were staying in Imladris. Though Thorin did not like being in Lord Elrond's realm, he was courteous of his hospitality towards him, even if he tried not to show it.

Fili and Kili seemed to like the rest and were content on relaxing with the rest of the company or fighting in the training grounds. A stray tear came out of your eye and you were brought back to the present, when you felt Thranduil's hand clasp over yours.

"I did not mean to upset you mellon," said Thranduil, "that was not my intention."

"You didn't upset me," You whispered as more tears fall down your cheeks "I just miss them so much."

Thranduil surprised you by pulling you slightly and embraced you.

"I know you miss them (Y/N), that will never go, but you are strong and will get through this," murmurs Thranduil "just think about the happy moments you all had together."

"At this present time, when I do that, I get upset."

"That is understandable," He whispered, shocking you further by stroking your hair "if you need to talk, I'll be there for you."

"Why are you being nice to me?" You asked, a little shyly you noticed.

You felt Thranduil take a deep breath, though he continued stroking your hair.

"I sensed your pain when you were leaving Erebor and I instantly felt drawn to you."

"Because of my heartache?" You asked him, pulling away a little to look at him.

"No, (Y/N), I knew what your intentions were and I could see at once that you were not fit for travelling. Which is why you are now here."

His blue eyes lock on to yours as you process what he has just said.

"So, you felt sorry for me?"

Thranduil shook his head.

"No, I wanted you to get better. Your injury from the battle was concerning me and I wanted to get you to safety. Knowing you were about to run away, I took matters in my own hands."

He resumed stroking your hair which was comforting, though his eyes continue to gaze at yours.

"I don't regret bringing to my kindom (Y/N), I knew I did the right thing. Especially when I saw that you were refusing to eat or drink."

"I told you I wasn't hungry."

Thranduil momentarily closed his eyes, before opening them again, shaking his head.

"No you wasn't, you were giving up."

You stay quiet, knowing arguing with him, would be pointless.

"I was pleased to see you eat earlier and long may that continue," remarked Thranduil "I just want you to get well again (Y/N)."

Watching Thranduil, you could see so many emotions in his eyes that you hadn't noticed before. You knew he was speaking the truth about you not eating anything and his words from a few days ago, brought you out of your depressing state.

Not a day goes by when you don't think about Thorin, Fili and Kili and you would miss them with all your heart. Glancing at Thranduil, you know he too has suffered from heartache and you can finally see why he acts hard towards outsiders.

"Thank you." You finally say.

Thranduil looks back at you with a stunned expression on his face.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"For being there and listening to my ramblings."

"I shall always be there for you (Y/N)," He replied, kissing your forehead "after all, we are now friends, are we not?"

You look at him with wide eyes, before composing yourself.

"Friends, I like the sound of that."

You grace Thranduil with a smile, noticing his own. You had a feeling there was more to Thranduil's tenderness towards you, but you couldn't be certain. You were just glad you had him as a friend rather than an enemy and you vowed to help Thranduil out with his own troubles if and when that time came.