A/N: I want to thank everyone who took the time to review the last chapter of 'It Will Rain.' I still find it hard to believe that even though it was my shortest fic, it received the most reviews… so I hope this has the same results or more for each chapter. So… post-note, if you haven't read 'It Will Rain,' you most likely wont understand what's happening here. I hope this satisfies.

D: Damned if I own it.

1. (What is) Love?

Embry's POV

Logan's Thirteenth Birthday

As I watched the proud parents hover around my thirteen-year-old imprint, I found myself grinning like a fool. Not only has the gratification taken hold on me, but also the exempt of a supernatural life for Logan has satisfied me. I still worry that someone would come along and try to ruin it for our happy family, but I knew that Logan would be safe now that he had Seth, Paul, Jacob, Leah and me constantly on alert to protect him.

"Happy Birthday Logie!" Everyone shouted as he blew out his candles.

Even though Logan has come to loathe the nickname I've given him at the age of five, he made the exception today. He explained to Seth and me that since he was no longer a kid, today would be the last day we were permitted to call him that. Talk about a very demanding kid. But I wouldn't deny him anything, and somehow he knew that.

He still doesn't know that he's my imprint, or the knowledge of what an imprint is. Under his assumptions, everyone in the pack fell in love the old fashioned way. But we do plan to give him an explanation when he turns sixteen.

"Uncle Embry?" 'Man I hate it when he calls me that.'

"What's up kid?" I faked a smile and placed my drink on the counter.

"Can you take me and the other kids to the beach?" He gave me the puppy eyes he was famous for. "We want to go for a swim before it gets dark."

"Is your dad okay with it?" I questioned.

"I asked my dads and pops." He grabbed my arm and pulled me with him.

Emily and Kim let out a few giggles as they watched the boy drag me through the house.

Logan's Sixteenth Birthday

"Okay Logan, pay attention." Jacob ordered the teen.

"But dad…" he whined, getting annoyed.

"No but's. You need to know what to do once and if you phase." Jake said sternly.

"Fine." He sighed in defeat.

I watched Jake instruct Logan on temper control, much to Logan's complaints, they continued until dusk fell. Through the entire lesson, I could only think of one solution that could calm him if and when he did phase. An imprint. And I prayed day in and out that he would return the imprint to me, that I would soon be the reason for his existence.

Today Logan was to become a man, and with the upgrade, came responsibilities. With responsibilities, he would become aware of the imprint I had on him. Was I okay with it? No. In fact I'm scared shitless that I would face rejection, afraid that he might look at me as an entire different person, that he would resent me for being his arranged love. As much as I didn't want to go into explanations, Logan deserves to know.

"Before we go Logan, we have one last thing to discuss." Seth halted the teen from leaving.

"Whaaaattt?" Logan complained, turning back to look at his dad.

"Don't give me that attitude." Seth inured. "This is very important."

"Fine." He trudged back.

"Have you come to full awareness to what an imprint is?" Those words shook me. I knew where this was leading. Seth insisted I give my explanations to him.

"I don't even know what the hell an imprint is?" He sauntered. His critical words towards the topic sent me in alert. Panic settled in my nerves, and I was ready to flee at the first chance I'd get.

"…" Seth shook his head in disapproval. "Well keep an open mind."

As my breath faltered, I seemed insecure over the situation. My mind kept coming up with the conflictions of it. I could be rejected; I don't want to be rejected. No shape shifter wants to be rejected by their soul mate. But the frustration he was displaying convinced me that he wasn't going to accept what he was going to hear.

"An imprint is…" As Seth explained the details of the bond, my mind continued to wander, trying to escape from reality. "… You'll do anything for that person to protect them…" I zoned out again, delirious over the expressions my imprint was displaying. He didn't seem too pleased over the explanation. Was he already beginning to connect the dots? Was he comparing it to the relationship I had with him? Did he know that I would do anything for him, no matter the circumstances? I would be anything he asked me to. But as much as I challenged myself to at least offer a friendship, I wanted more. Now that he was the man he is turning out to be. My feelings towards him began to grow into something more, I wanted to be the reason of his existence. "… which is why there is a reason we needed to tell you this."

"And that is?" He seemed hesitant to ask.

Just then, everyone's gaze fell on me. The only time I despised being rendered the center of attention. It felt as if I was put on display, examined under a microscope to point out my inabilities to void my love I wanted to claim for Logan. Their stares appointed me to give my explanation, but I couldn't choke out the words, and it didn't help that Logan was practically glaring at me with impatience.

"I-I…" I stuttered.

"What is it uncle?" 'Fuck… Why does he call me that?'

"Stop calling me uncle." I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing." I brushed it off, hoping not to stir the pot more.

"Well what is it Embry?" 'Maybe he did hear me.' "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I imprinted." I finally met his gaze. 'Why was I so damn nervous about telling him?' "On you…"

He stared at me in shock. Shouldn't he have even noticed, wasn't it obvious that I adored him for his entire life of knowing me?

"H-how… how can that be? I-I mean… really?" I couldn't blame him for everything I was putting on him.

"I'm sorry if this is too much to take in Logan, and I understand you have a choice." I hated that I was trying to be reasonable, but an imprint does some crazy things to you, even if I wanted to be his only choice.

"But I always looked up to uncle Embry as just my uncle, I thought he was always there for me because he was just trying to be my favorite uncle." He spoke a mile a minute.

"I will always be there for you under any circumstances Logan, this doesn't change anything." I tried convincing him. "This imprint is like a certification of my love and dedication for you."

"You love me?" 'Shit! I didn't even thing before I spoke. But it's the truth.'

"I can try to deny it." I said in discomfort. "But it's pointless."

"So you guys already had me married off to Embry." He glared at his dad. "You and Jake just figured I'd be okay with it."

"This wasn't our choice Logan." Seth's tone began to rise. "Embry has been nothing but dedicated to you and us."

"You being his imprint Logan is better than you finding some idiot that would take advantage of you." Jake added. "Embry is my best friend, and I'm glad that he'd be there to protect you if I wasn't there."

"I don't need protection." He snapped.

"You did before, and he was there." Seth implied.

"Only because he had to be." He argued. "I'm not succumbing to this, Embry can find someone else, so can I."

"It doesn't work that way." Sam finally spoke.

"I don't give a…" He argued before I interrupted.

"You're right Logan. You deserve more than me, and I won't stand in the way." Fuck! As much as it hurt to say it, he needed to know where I stand; he needed to feel the pain of the separation to get it etched in his head.

"Are you cr…"

"I'm not crazy Leah." I blocked any chance of convincing me to change my mind. "Logan needs to know the benefits of life rather than being tied to me."

No arguments, and no assurance of pity for me from Logan, he just left without a word. The pack and me stood in the clearance, some in shock, but most in frustration over the situation.

Even though everyone was witnessing my rejection, no one said a thing. Leah looked fumed, Jared disappointed, and Quil saddened. Sam seemed just as frustrated as Jake, Paul, and Seth. Me, I felt lost and disoriented. Like my options don't exist anymore, my purpose lost and the future I hoped for is now a faded picture, a figment of my imagination. I know I implemented the option, but that doesn't mean I enjoyed doing it; I in fact loathed it. But there is a saying, a quote that now I understand. 'If you love something or someone enough, let it go. If it returns, you know that it belonged to you in the first place.' My life depended on these wise words.

"Embry." Leah treaded towards me. "Why'd you let him go?"

"Because…" I whimpered, trying not to bawl my eyes out. "I'd sooner reject him than him knowing how much this affects me."

"But it could kill you."

"Well I hope he realizes how much he means to me before it's too late."

"That kid is in for a rude awakening." Jake fumed, trailing off towards the direction of Logan.

"No, he has to come to these revelations on his own." I intervened.

"But Em…" Seth said concerned.

"Please you guys… trust me." I begged. "He needs to come up with his own epiphanies before any of us. Just give him time."

"What if he doesn't?" Paul asked.

"Well…" I had to give it to him bluntly. "…he'll lose me."

Can you imagine the suspense chime following me everywhere I went, trailing my saddened figure and matching it with some sappy low tune? Call it as it is, but no sad song or ballad could dissipate the feelings I'm experiencing right now. I haven't felt this depressed in my entire life, and now I'm living in the highest regrets. Remorse for letting my imprint slip from my fingers, for giving him the options, but the more I contemplate on the situation, I always was my imprint to be happy, even if it isn't with me. And it even hurts to admit that.

Over the past two weeks, the agony hasn't died down, and a month since I admitted my biggest regret to my imprint. I haven't been able to gather that I could remain alone for my entire life. Succumbed to watch my imprint live a happy life from the sidelines until death claims the rest of me. Was I being overdramatic? Probably, but I wouldn't know, I'm just too conflicted to care. I could just ask him to give me a chance, or I could let him come to his revelations.

But matters have turned for the worse. He is dating some tramp from his school. Was I happy for him? No. Do I think she deserves him? Hell no. But whatever experiences he goes through, I just hope that I don't hear of them. It could tear me to shreds if it came to knowing that I wasn't his first. I may be selfish, but the heightened feelings for him lately had my hopes up that he would just all the sudden come to the conclusions that I'm most likely the right choice for him.

As I sulked in my pity for the next couple weeks, things only seemed to get worse. Even though Seth and Paul have been nothing but consoling to me, it didn't make the situation easier. The fact that Logan pulled himself away from me more was enough to compare to a bullet in the heart, it was killing me slowly that I was no longer a part of Logan's life.

My dreams have turned into nightmares, practical jokes playing with my mind of Logan's return, only to be taken away from me from the shadows of the night. I would watch as he came to me, pulling me into his arms and apologizing to me for being an idiot, and promising me that he would never leave my side. Then turned for the worse, him saying goodbye to me, making excuses that he wasn't ready to be committed, that he wanted to experience life away from here, from me. Then he would always disappear in the darkness, out of sight, but never out of mind. I would always wake up drenched in sweat and flooded with the tears to remind me that this could never end.

I'm living in regret more and more each day. Obliterated to deal with the decisions I've made. I'm always punishing myself for others, putting their happiness before mine, and now it was worse with Logan. I loved that I hate him, but hate that I love him. I wanted to ask him to give me a chance, but my conscience would always win the debate. I was to let him decide if I was his, and if he was mine.

Even staying up until the day broke out wouldn't help. It only gave me more time to think, and gave me more time to regret my life. I was becoming suicidal because I refuse to sulk in public, to put on my happy face in front of the pack and everyone else. My outsides look cool but my insides are blue. The only elixir to my sickness was the love and dedication that only one person could provide, but he doesn't know that.

"Embry!" A voice broke me out my thoughts. I was here once again, drinking a beer and trying to forget how life betrayed me. "Are you home?"

"…" I didn't want to answer, and I don't want pity. But it seems that whoever was here is either concerned or being too damned nosy.

"You look like shit Em." I turned to glare at the shadow standing in my poorly lit kitchen. Curtains were closed and the only source of light was the sun blaring through my living room window.

"Well thanks… you're looking lovely too." I said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean to be blunt Em… sorry." It was Seth, pulling out the chair to sit across from me.

"I know I look like shit." I agreed.

My voice didn't sound like mine, not even to me. The flem building up in my throat from the constant crying was messing with my vocal chords. Tears dried up on my face several times, and I couldn't remember the last time I even made the effort to eat. So yes, I knew I looked like shit. That didn't mean I should make myself presentable in my own house when I didn't even feel like there was a worth to. I even demeaned myself to lower standards, convincing myself that if I wasn't good enough for Logan, then I'm not good enough for anyone else.

"I knew you were feeling down Em, but why didn't you tell us it was getting this bad?" He asked concerned.

"I don't want your pity Seth, I just want to be left alone." I muttered, feeling annoyed.

I know I shouldn't be lashing out on one of my best friends, but I can't help to ventilate on the first person in sight, it's just that Seth happens to be that person.

"I've left you alone for too long." He argued. "You need the support you've given, just shut up an accept it."

"I can't. I don't want to." I practically whined.

"Well you're going to need it after what I need to tell you." He was nervous. I could smell the fear of informing whatever he need to tell me, and I knew then it had something to do with Logan.

"Is he okay?" I bolted up, ready to race to the door and to his aid.

Any excuse to be by his side.

"He's fine." He stood up quickly with me. "But you wont be."

"What are you talking about Seth?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know now. I knew it was about Logan, but if I'm not going to be okay, then I'll most likely sink deeper in the pit of doom.

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but in a way I'm glad that circumstances have changed to a certain point." He said.

"Spit it out Seth. I don't have all day." I hissed.

"Hey don't kill the messenger… I'm getting there." It even seemed difficult for him to choke out the words.

"Please Seth, the anticipation is killing me, I don't know more how much I can handle." I begged.

"Well I'm sure you heard that he's been dating a girl named Jenny, right?" 'Great, I didn't need to know the hussies name.' But I nodded hesitantly. "Well… we had a dispute with her parents when her dad came to our house ready to beat the shit out of Logan –even though we know he wouldn't have been able to do harm- he claimed that there was a chance that Jenny could be pregnant." After that… the rest of the conversation was pretty much ignored. "… but luckily we found out that she wasn't, and that we all demanded that they break it off if they were being this irresponsible."

"Why are you telling me this Seth?" I glared at him.

"Because you have a right to know."

"So you wanted to tell me that my imprint is moving on so god damn easy." I began to raise my voice. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR OF ANY OF HIS SEXUAL RELATIONS. HE MADE HIS CHOICE AND IT WASN'T ME."

"I know he's your imprint, and that's why you needed to know, so you're not flying in blind sighted." I threw my bottle across the room, shattering it on the brick fireplace. "I wanted to tell you because I know he's ready to phase from all of this frustration and anger he's going through. I know being away from you is affecting him too, and I was hoping you could be there when he does."

"But he doesn't want me near him." I cried out. "Of course I'd be there for him, but I know it won't end well."

"We'll all be there Em, he needs you there to help him calm down on his first phase." He convinced.

"But that's only if I was his imprint." I argued. "I'm beginning to doubt that he'll even return the imprint."

"You can't be sure about that."

"Either way, as much as I want to run to his side Seth, I'll never be his first choice. His frustrations are resulted from his break-up with the girl, not for the pain of being away from me." I sobbed. "I admit, I've only been with one person in my life, and that was before the imprint. But having the knowledge of your soul mate being with someone else hurts more than anything, you of all people know this Seth."

"I know." He agreed.

"What is love?"

"What?" He puzzled.

"What is love Seth?" I asked again. "It just seems to be a threat to a lonely life, if you don't find out what it is, you're succumbed to be alone. I don't want to be alone. It's been over ten years since I waited for Logan to accept me, to be with me. But once again, that's asking for too much. So what is love to you Seth? Is it really worth fighting for?"

"I used to be doubtful, I'll admit it." He explained. "If I gave up the day that I found out Paul imprinted on me, then I would be demeaned to loneliness, but I refused to give up since I've worked so hard to get where I was at. I can't tell you what love is, but I can tell you that it's worth fighting for."

"I'm not fighting anymore Seth." I said. "If he returns the imprint, I'll be happier then ever, but if he doesn't… I'll leave and let him live the life without me."

"But don't you think you're being to drastic?"

"Sometimes you have to be." I opened the door and walked out.

He didn't follow me, and I'm glad he didn't. I can't take anymore of this. I know I'm being stubborn, but it seems that whatever I've worked for, whatever I did for Logan, was tossed out the window, or thrown back in my face.

I hoped that running things off would help, but the waterworks began to flow like waterfalls. For once, the rainy days couldn't drown away the tears, only to be visited by the sun to dry the tears and remain stuck to my fur. But I kept running. Even though our perimeters covered a mass amount of land, I was still able to circle it more than twice until I collapsed on the soft soil.

Whatever or whoever finds me, I pray they bring me out of my misery.

A/N: Wow… I didn't think that it would be that… dark. I was planning on giving

them the happily ever after through the three chapters, but I figured to give them challenges to make it worthwhile.

So tell me what you think? Review.

Much Love,

TurnItUp03