I sat in silence on his bed. It was his bed. It smelled of him, and the way the
sheets were entangled around themselves in his unkempt ways. We all knew the illness was getting to him. It was clouding in his mind. It was changing who he actually was. It was almost as if he was losing pieces of himself little bits at a time. And at his event, I stood there and I listened to everyone blabber shit that they never meant. Because half of the people that went never even liked him. They only felt bad because they remember all of the bad things they used to tell him. And sure, they would say "I bullied him because I was jealous of how popular he was", but that wasn't true at all. He wasn't popular. He was like me. And I guess that was why we became best friends that one day when PJ introduced us.
Maybe it was bad that I had expected this day to come, but once it hit it felt like an earthquake was in my head, pounding harder than it ever had before from sobbing so hard. I already missed him. I missed him so much, and I was upset at myself more than anything. His complaints of constant headaches, I would usually just ignore. I would brush it off my shoulders and would remind him that he had had headaches ever since he was eight. I felt like it was my responsibility. He was my responsibility. I was supposed to make sure nothing bad ever happened to him. I was supposed to be there and he would be there for me and we would die old together, both married and a family. But we would abandon them on our last day and we would go to the hospital, and we would die holding hands. But he couldnt wait that long.
I grabbed one of his green and blue blankets, wrapping it around my body and burying my head into his pillow. It still smelled of him. It was warm and comforting. It of course didnt dull the sharp pain I felt. It increased it. But I pushed that aside. And I allowed myself to sob, my body trembling with every great shake of tears I gave. "I miss you." I whispered, and with all the small strength I had left, I lifted myself up and I walked out of his room. And I swear to God, I could hear a whisper in my ear, "I love you."
