Summary: Ron sitting in Potions, stewing in his thoughts. The rest should be self evident.
Do you want to know why secret, unrequited love hurts the most?
Because I think I have worked it out. I mean after two weeks of steeping in your own thoughts, something good had to come of it. Right?
It's not like there is anything else to do in this endless Potions Class.
You see the problem is this. You never lost anything. In a 'normal' break up (if such a thing exists), something is retracted from your life. Depending on how you want to frame it, it can be that physical contact that is now missing. That mix of chemicals that floods your brain on even the lightest brush of her fingers against your skin.
Then there is the companionship. That support and friendship is now missing, or at least lessened.
In essence a hole is left that was filled by that person in the near past.
However when they never knew how you felt...
And then they find someone else...
That's when it really hurts the most. When there is no logical reason why it should hurt this much.
You didn't even lose anything. You weren't betrayed or let down. There was no punch to the gut when they walked out of your life, or when they told you. Nothing to hang your pain on.
It is at this point you come at the pain for the other side. Why is it good pain? Might as well try and turn it into something positive.
Well because you didn't tell her, you didn't get turned down. You saved face at least. No humiliation or embarrassment as they politely told you you weren't good enough for them.
And of course you don't just suddenly fall for someone. They had to be courting each other for a while, just because you weren't aware of it doesn't mean it wasn't happening.
That cold moment when someone made a passing comment in conversation and you understood. The world dimmed slightly, became more distant. Cursing slightly under your breath. How? But? When?
If anything that was when you realised you loved her...
Anyway, surely this is proof she wasn't interested.
...but there were all those sideways glances.
Times you caught her looking at you.
When you politely smiled back and you got a flash of that look from her that makes your heart skip a beat and your stomach somersault.
Maked. Past tense. It was all in your head. Move on.
...Of course there is always the chance she was waiting for you. Waiting for you to make the move. I mean you are the guy right. It is your job.
However women aren't a static targets. You keep your options open, flirt with other girls. So do they. You just moved to late.
This isn't a useful line of thinking.
Chances are she wasn't into you. She liked the other guy. She's happy and you saved face. Move on.
...But it still hurts.
Why does it hurt?
So it basically comes down to two options. She either liked you and you were too much of a coward to act on your feelings, so you lost out.
Or she was never interested.
Which hurts less...
Neither...
On the bright side, Potions is almost over and you have to pretend to be normal again. Because of course no one knows that you have just been ripped apart.
You need to smile politely at people, engage in pointless conversation.
Maybe pretending that it doesn't hurt will eventually... somewhere down the line... mean, for a split second, you will forget how much it hurts...
