Diary of a Nerdy New-born Lesbian

Summer: Before Sophomore Year:

Hi, welcome to Wendy's, the land of "Do you want fries with that?" This is Joy, she'll be training you on how to properly assemble a burger, no mind that you have no training and it's rush hour. Also, just because her name is Joy doesn't mean she's a joy to work with.

Her daughter, Anissa, usually works drive-through. We'll have you training on that in no time. Nissa's got herself three little girls and she's only just hit 20. Every couple of months she has to take off for court dates because she got picked up for possession or illegal concealed weapons, but it's a kind of touchy subject. For reference, unless you want your innards wrapped around your neck- DO NOT insult or comment on her mothering skills.

Nissa is good friends with Dustin. Dustin works constantly to help support his little boy but when he's not working, and occasionally when he is, he enjoys a breakfast of cereal and smoke. But don't worry, Dustin's pretty chill.

He tends to get along really well with David, also known as D.A. because we have two. David is highly intelligent but is for some reason interested in "Pro" wrestling and trashy, trailer park women. Outside of his usual choice in women he's also extremely interested in me. I find that kinda funny since I only date women but it's ok. I consider it a form of flattery.

At the end of the day, we're all exasperated with Tommy. Slowest sandwich maker in the joint, that's only because he's had at least two before his shift and one during break. Long Islander, barely understandable as it is, just a wee bit stoned makes him only slightly useless. Oh and since you're female, beware, he hits on anything he thinks has a vagina…even if they don't bat for his team.

Don't worry, he's relatively harmless, especially when he's got his tail between his legs from being reprimanded by our drag queen—err…I mean general manager. Robbie has a thing for monkeys, even has one tattooed on his foot. Give him a flying monkey for Christmas and you're good for life. Hell, maybe he'll even invite you to go gay-clubbing with him and his boyfriend. His boyfriend, Mitch, is actually pretty cool and probably the "man" in the relationship. Not that either of them could really be called men.

Then of course, we progress to our manager whom we call "The Gay Taco." His name is Anthony and he doesn't speak a word of Spanish except for "hola" despite his primarily Mexican heritage. He is the most flamboyant man I have ever met. He's even more gay than drag-queen Robbie.

Week Two, First Semester Sophomore Year:

"Ok class, pull out your workbooks. Today we're going to determine what makes a good hypothesis. Discuss with your group which of the following scenarios make a good hypothesis."

We all looked at each other, looked at the first entry and contemplated whether or not we had been reinserted into fifth grade. One of my group partners glanced up at me, a girl named Rai, playful blue eyes locking on dirt brown ones and rolled toward the ceiling at the same time.

"Throw a dog a steak. Oh yeah, definitely a perfect hypothesis," my voice oozing with sarcasm.

We perused the list, boredom growing with each entry. Altogether a sleep-inducing exercise until we reach the end of the list: Throwing virgins into a volcano (one a month) will prevent the volcano from erupting. Rai's eyes lit up with playful fire.

"Alright guys, I think this is a great hypothesis. It's testable, verifiable, and can be proven false. All you have to do is find yourself enough virgins to test it." Since she got the conversation going, I decided to run with it: "Of course it's a truly perfect hypothesis but where are you going to find that many virgins, especially on this campus?"

Sara, another group partner, piped up, "I think we should try and test it. Collect a group of virgins and throw them into volcanoes. If we prevent them from erupting then we know the hypothesis was correct. If they continue to erupt after sacrificing those virgins, then we know the hypothesis was incorrect. Completely verifiable."

We all burst out laughing and continued the discussion, talking about the potential of using virgins of other species (since the likeliness of finding enough virgins to test is terribly low). Cows, dogs, goats, if it was a virgin we were going to test it. Still laughing by the end of class, Rai invited me to dinner with her friends. How could someone so funny and clever and attractive want to hang out with me? Want to be my friend?

Week Four, Sophomore Year:

Quiet, solitary lunch before going up to my quiet, solitary room. It started with that lonely lunch. Sitting by myself in a hardwood chair, Rai invited me to sit with her and her friends. Pixie-ish redhead carving a face into her apple and a loud Miami native blathering about video games was my welcome.

"Don't be scared of my friends. They're all super crazy but I promise they don't bite too much," she assured me.

"I'm not so easily scared. They actually kinda remind me of friends back home."

She smirked cockily at my statement and began a conversation on some sort of nerdy topic or another. Being the shy little geek that I am, I sat, listened, smiled, and interjected occasionally. It usually takes me a while to get out of my shell. That conversation was almost as amusing as our first; when we threw virgins into volcanoes.

Author Note:

I warn you this is not yet finished. I will repost when it is all done, I promise