Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, although I wish I did.

Warnings: depression, talks about suicide


Dollhouse World

You were the weird one.

The one who always

got picked last.

You said you didn't Care

but truth was {is}

you did.


For six years

Six years!

You lived in this d/o\l/l\h/o\u/s\e world

Where everything was

PERFECTION.

You were The Manipulator

Everything happened the way you wanted it to

And nothing bad ever happened

You were IMPERVIOUS.

No one,

Nothing,

Could hurt you,

Leave you s|c|a|r|r|e|d.

Until THEYcame.


The Deatheaters.

They hurt you.

Hurt you in ways.

That you never d~r~e~a~m~e~d possible.

There was

UNIMAGINABLE torture

& pain

so much PAIN!

They s/h/a/t/t/e/r/e/d your

D^o^l^l^h^o^u^s^e.

In all its miniature perfection.

They hurt your f.r.i.e.n.d.s

[The first friends you had for a long, long time.]

& the boy you maybe (definitely) loved


then they kidnapped you

&& you thought for a minute

Thatthingsmightnotbesobad

Better even

You could escape

&and& find the glue to repair

Your dollhouse

(That dream was terribly misguided,

even a little insane

but they called you LoonyLuna

for a reason.

Didn't they?)


In your dungeon

There was no light

No escape

So you p.a.s.s.e.d the days

D/\r/\e/\a/\m/\i/\n/\g with the others

Talking

Sometimes you even tried to make them

L*a*u*g*h,

if such a thing is possible in Hell.

They said that you were

a beacon of light

Down there.

But where there is light

Darkness lurks

closeby.


When all the rest were sleeping,

Dreaming their s~u~g~a~r~p~l~u~m d*r*e*a*m*s

You started to repair you dollhouse

With what little glue you had left with you.

& even though the cracks were still HUGE and gaping

you ventured inside again.

You were addicted & you knew it.

You craved the high you achieved

When you were u.n.t.o.u.c.h.a.b.l.e.

& could feel no pain

Or EMOTION

When the pain of the world was weighing you

D

O

W

N

you were desperate for your Dollhouse

because the pain was Too Much

If you didn't have it

The world would

CRASH around your ears.

The emotion would

EAT YOU ALIVE.

The rest of the world

(well … the prison world you resided in)

Still saw you as

Loony Luna

And you were

On the outside at least

(You wore the façade well)

But inside

You there was a stormy sea

Waves THREATening to bury you

You STILL hadn't f.i.x.e.d your dollhouse

It was defective.

You could still feel.

And that was exactly what you were trying to avoid.


the rescue was welcome

Cooped up with your thoughts any longer

you might have just

EXPLODED!

But then that nice elf

(Dobby! that was his name!)

saved you

& he died

& you were the tiniest bit

jealous.

When you closed his eyes.

You thought that

Maybe if it had been you

You could have been living in your dollhouse

Far away from all the suffering.

It would be fixed

and you wouldn't have to feel.


THE BATTLE

You helped Harry

([What a good friend])

& then you fought on

Autopilot.

Curses were cast.

Jinxes flew.

You narrowly escaped the hand of Death

A million times.

People all around you

F

E

L

L

Those you were fighting with

& those you fought against.

Seconds turned into hours.

Until a voice

The voice of pure

Evil

/S/l/i/c/e/d/ through the air

"Collect your dead."

.{~xx~}.

There were so many

Colin (!YOUR AGE!~!UNDERAGE!)

Lupin and Tonks (!THEIR SON!)

Fred (!his business!~!his family!)

& soSO many others

They

p

i

l

e

d

in your soul

One on top of

another

drowning you in blood and tears.


The battle was over.

GOOD had TRIUMPHED!

Voldemort's body had been burned.

& most all d~a~n~c~e~d

Among the ashes.

You sat a.l.o.n.e

Desperate to find your dollhouse

Among the t/a/n/g\l\e/d\ mess of emotion you didn't want to feel

S/p\i/d\e/r/\\w/e\b/b/i\n\\g though your brain.

He placed a hand on your shoulder

& sat (awkwardly) beside you.

And you looked up into his eyes

At his

Bruisedbattlebattered face.

he was A Hero.

(Now he knew

What you always did.)

No words were exchanged.

(:Smiles:) were instead.

You felt almost...

H

A

P

P

Y

And for the first time in six years

You found that emotion wasn't so bad.


There were funerals.

SO MANY!

For those

Too young!

(Colin, Lupin, Tonks, Fred)

Your dollhouseworld

Now fixed (though it still had those cracks)

had become your

Last safe haven.

Or the feelings would eat you.

But with all the continuous use

it was more broken than ever

The cracks you filled

opened once more

deeper than ever before.


You visited him, 2two2 years later

You wanted to tell him

That you were leaving

Forever.

(SUICIDE]

[such an ugly word, isn't it?)

You wanted to tell him,

The pain was too much

& you were sorry

You were sorry you never said

I love you.

those 3 words

8 little letters

{maybe if you had…

things would have been different}


He looked …

Different.

(maybe you were the one

who had changed?)

He invited you in.

Tea was served.

Yes, it was s*w*e*e*t

But it had never calmed you.

(today was no exception)


You babbled

In the usual LoonyLuna way

But soon you reached

The

3 HEART 3

Of the matter.

Goodbye

Was on the

'T'I'P' of your tongue

Leaving its bitter taste

But.

You.

Couldn't.

You FLEW out the door

And TORE down the stairs

And stumbledtumbled

Into the pouring rain.

He followed

Called your name.

You turned

And saw him running at you

Barefoot and determined

With a (:smile:) in his eyes

BAM!

His lips met yours

and for the first time in a long time

a long, long, long time

you were smiling.

You were HAPPY!

And then,

the ruins of your dollhouse

D.i.s.i.n.t.e.g.r.a.t.e.d

with a

POOF! and a POP!

They were gone.


It turns out,

your perfect dollhouseworld

Wasn't necessary.

All you ever needed was him

Neville Longbottom,

the boy you definitely loved.


Emotion wasn't so bad anymore