Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, although I wish I did.
Warnings: depression, talks about suicide
Dollhouse World
You were the weird one.
The one who always
got picked last.
You said you didn't Care
but truth was {is}
you did.
For six years
Six years!
You lived in this d/o\l/l\h/o\u/s\e world
Where everything was
PERFECTION.
You were The Manipulator
Everything happened the way you wanted it to
And nothing bad ever happened
You were IMPERVIOUS.
No one,
Nothing,
Could hurt you,
Leave you s|c|a|r|r|e|d.
Until THEYcame.
The Deatheaters.
They hurt you.
Hurt you in ways.
That you never d~r~e~a~m~e~d possible.
There was
UNIMAGINABLE torture
& pain
so much PAIN!
They s/h/a/t/t/e/r/e/d your
D^o^l^l^h^o^u^s^e.
In all its miniature perfection.
They hurt your f.r.i.e.n.d.s
[The first friends you had for a long, long time.]
& the boy you maybe (definitely) loved
then they kidnapped you
&& you thought for a minute
Thatthingsmightnotbesobad
Better even
You could escape
&and& find the glue to repair
Your dollhouse
(That dream was terribly misguided,
even a little insane
but they called you LoonyLuna
for a reason.
Didn't they?)
In your dungeon
There was no light
No escape
So you p.a.s.s.e.d the days
D/\r/\e/\a/\m/\i/\n/\g with the others
Talking
Sometimes you even tried to make them
L*a*u*g*h,
if such a thing is possible in Hell.
They said that you were
a beacon of light
Down there.
But where there is light
Darkness lurks
closeby.
When all the rest were sleeping,
Dreaming their s~u~g~a~r~p~l~u~m d*r*e*a*m*s
You started to repair you dollhouse
With what little glue you had left with you.
& even though the cracks were still HUGE and gaping
you ventured inside again.
You were addicted & you knew it.
You craved the high you achieved
When you were u.n.t.o.u.c.h.a.b.l.e.
& could feel no pain
Or EMOTION
When the pain of the world was weighing you
D
O
W
N
you were desperate for your Dollhouse
because the pain was Too Much
If you didn't have it
The world would
CRASH around your ears.
The emotion would
EAT YOU ALIVE.
The rest of the world
(well … the prison world you resided in)
Still saw you as
Loony Luna
And you were
On the outside at least
(You wore the façade well)
But inside
You there was a stormy sea
Waves THREATening to bury you
You STILL hadn't f.i.x.e.d your dollhouse
It was defective.
You could still feel.
And that was exactly what you were trying to avoid.
the rescue was welcome
Cooped up with your thoughts any longer
you might have just
EXPLODED!
But then that nice elf
(Dobby! that was his name!)
saved you
& he died
& you were the tiniest bit
jealous.
When you closed his eyes.
You thought that
Maybe if it had been you
You could have been living in your dollhouse
Far away from all the suffering.
It would be fixed
and you wouldn't have to feel.
THE BATTLE
You helped Harry
([What a good friend])
& then you fought on
Autopilot.
Curses were cast.
Jinxes flew.
You narrowly escaped the hand of Death
A million times.
People all around you
F
E
L
L
Those you were fighting with
& those you fought against.
Seconds turned into hours.
Until a voice
The voice of pure
Evil
/S/l/i/c/e/d/ through the air
"Collect your dead."
.{~xx~}.
There were so many
Colin (!YOUR AGE!~!UNDERAGE!)
Lupin and Tonks (!THEIR SON!)
Fred (!his business!~!his family!)
& soSO many others
They
p
i
l
e
d
in your soul
One on top of
another
drowning you in blood and tears.
The battle was over.
GOOD had TRIUMPHED!
Voldemort's body had been burned.
& most all d~a~n~c~e~d
Among the ashes.
You sat a.l.o.n.e
Desperate to find your dollhouse
Among the t/a/n/g\l\e/d\ mess of emotion you didn't want to feel
S/p\i/d\e/r/\\w/e\b/b/i\n\\g though your brain.
He placed a hand on your shoulder
& sat (awkwardly) beside you.
And you looked up into his eyes
At his
Bruisedbattlebattered face.
he was A Hero.
(Now he knew
What you always did.)
No words were exchanged.
(:Smiles:) were instead.
You felt almost...
H
A
P
P
Y
And for the first time in six years
You found that emotion wasn't so bad.
There were funerals.
SO MANY!
For those
Too young!
(Colin, Lupin, Tonks, Fred)
Your dollhouseworld
Now fixed (though it still had those cracks)
had become your
Last safe haven.
Or the feelings would eat you.
But with all the continuous use
it was more broken than ever
The cracks you filled
opened once more
deeper than ever before.
You visited him, 2two2 years later
You wanted to tell him
That you were leaving
Forever.
(SUICIDE]
[such an ugly word, isn't it?)
You wanted to tell him,
The pain was too much
& you were sorry
You were sorry you never said
I love you.
those 3 words
8 little letters
{maybe if you had…
things would have been different}
He looked …
Different.
(maybe you were the one
who had changed?)
He invited you in.
Tea was served.
Yes, it was s*w*e*e*t
But it had never calmed you.
(today was no exception)
You babbled
In the usual LoonyLuna way
But soon you reached
The
3 HEART 3
Of the matter.
Goodbye
Was on the
'T'I'P' of your tongue
Leaving its bitter taste
But.
You.
Couldn't.
You FLEW out the door
And TORE down the stairs
And stumbledtumbled
Into the pouring rain.
He followed
Called your name.
You turned
And saw him running at you
Barefoot and determined
With a (:smile:) in his eyes
BAM!
His lips met yours
and for the first time in a long time
a long, long, long time
you were smiling.
You were HAPPY!
And then,
the ruins of your dollhouse
D.i.s.i.n.t.e.g.r.a.t.e.d
with a
POOF! and a POP!
They were gone.
It turns out,
your perfect dollhouseworld
Wasn't necessary.
All you ever needed was him
Neville Longbottom,
the boy you definitely loved.
Emotion wasn't so bad anymore
