Allura was a perfectionist when it came to diplomacy. She had practiced self-control over and over until it was second nature. In fact, she was able to accept the rancid smelling sticker cup stew from the Balmerans with a smile on her face. And yet with Keith her guard was somehow always down.
Unfortunately that was the case when he led her into his small shack in the desert. Regret that she'd insisted on visiting the place where it all started began to overwhelm her. She could have gone a lifetime not knowing that her paladin had lived in a space smaller than her bedroom for over a year.
Oh, right. Not her bedroom any more.
She sat rather stiffly on the sofa, knees together, hands folded on her lap. The perfect Princess, she thought. Rather out of place here though. Should she cross her legs? Maybe lean her elbow on the armrest? How could she be so out of her league when she wasn't dealing with a dignitary? The frustration was getting to be too much for her.
The thunk of metal hitting a hard surface caused her to jump slightly. After facing off with Lotor in the dimensional void she was shocked it even phased her. Yet out here, with Keith, alone, well...she was admittedly a bit nervous. Not that he'd harm her, though.
No, it was something else entirely.
After Keith had finished dusting the small table he plopped down on the far-right end of the couch to rest, propping his feet on the corner of the place she could only assume he also ate. Allura's mother would have taken away her dessert for a month had she ever done such an unsanitary thing. Coran would have burned the table.
Instead he burned the whole castle.
"What's wrong, Allura?" Keith asked, not bothering to open his eyes.
Had she made a sound alerting him to her state of mind? No, she was positive she hadn't. It was just a thing he did at times, clueing into her thoughts and feelings before she had even recognized them herself. There had always been a connection between them that was beyond her comprehension.
She peeked over at the now older looking man. In the chaos that followed her return from the rift there had been no time to assess the differences. He was taller, that much she surmised from needing to tilt her chin skyward when she spoke with him. His shoulders were broader, his muscles more pronounced. And his hair? Allura blushed as she imagined running her fingers through it.
Suddenly Keith's left hand came flying towards her, the backs of his fingers pressed to her forehead, his right hand rested against his own.
"What are you doing?"
Keith finally opened his eyes and turned his head slightly in her direction. "Thought you might have a fever. You haven't said a word since we left the garrison."
Allura was a bit taken aback by his statement. Had she really been that quiet? Surely there had been words exchanged at some point during the day.
Wait, no. That's not the question she needed to ask at the moment.
"How-" the Princess started, unsure how to ask without sounding a bit paranoid. "You knew I was upset earlier. And, just now, you managed to not smack me in the face when you weren't looking. Are you a mind reader?"
As he dropped his feet from the table to the floor, Keith leaned forward to slide his jacket off before draping it over his head, effectively blinding him. Allura thought it was a bizarre sight but decided to see where this was going. After all, the guy who was known for being a bit too straight-laced must have a reasonable explanation for his antics.
"Hold up your fingers," he instructed.
"Which ones?"
"Whichever ones you want, however many you want."
Frustrated that he was planning to do some mundane parlor trick she decided to sit on her hands instead. Exhaustion and stress might have left her somewhat humorless, she surmised, but pretending to see through solid objects was childish. Especially for Keith.
"Okay, they're ready," she said, smirking as she heard a sigh from beneath the bright read coat.
"No, they aren't," he retorted. "They're under your thighs."
Allura abruptly pulled her hands out, flexing her fingers as they'd begun to go numb from the weight. Despite being put out at his correct assumption she finally decided to play along. After all, he knew her well enough to know she'd probably do that anyway. Lucky guess, nothing more.
This time she held up both hands, contorting them to the most complex arrangement of raised and lowered digits. If he got this one correct she'd be somewhat impressed.
Keith hummed in consideration as Allura worked the last finger into place. "Left hand. Index, middle and pinky finger up. Thumb and ring finger touching."
Halfway done and he was correct on all his guesses. A couple of ticks went by before he said anything, finally he continued but his voice softened a bit. "Right hand. Pinky finger up, pointer and thumb in the shape of an L."
Allura looked at the back of her hand in confusion. "No, L goes the other way doesn't it?"
At that Keith whipped the jacket off and threw it on the ground. Before she knew it he was halfway out the door. Allura leapt up to chase after him but her foot caught on the leg of the table, sending her flailing towards the floor. Halfway down, however, an arm reached out to stop her before she crashed into a stack of old equipment.
The Princess peered up at her savior with confusion. How he'd closed the gap between them so quickly was beyond reasoning. She would have liked to chalk it up to Marmora training, but this was different. This was deeper.
As she righted herself Keith gave her a quick scan for any injuries. She could have told him she was fine but he seemed intent to check himself. Not that Allura minded. It was nice to have attention that wasn't coming from either Lotor or Lance.
No, that wasn't it. She had missed this. Somehow she'd forgotten, once she'd abandoned hope of Keith ever returning to her. Lotor wasn't her first love. It was the man who had defended her at every turn and gave her hope, gave her courage. Gave her freedom to make her own choices, never using flattery or romance to get his way.
"I'm sorry."
For a moment Allura was confused. She thought for sure she'd said it, yet it sounded like Keith's voice. One look at this face made her realize they'd said it in unison.
Keith leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her waist. He smelled of garrison issued soap and desert and something else, something familiar. It was not an unpleasant smell, either. It reminded her of sparring sessions, of late-night training drills. The days he'd skipped taking a shower because he spent the morning checking for Galra with Pidge. She missed that smell.
"Don't be sorry," the Princess ordered. "There's nothing to be sorry for."
He pulled away, his eyes studying her face for signs of anything that didn't look like sincerity, cracking a small smile when he failed to find any. In turn Allura let her sights fall on the purple scar that swept across his right cheek. She wanted to ask but wasn't sure how Keith felt about it. Did it bother him? Was he embarrassed by it?
As if he were reading her mind once again, he gently grasped her left hand and brought it to his face. "It doesn't hurt, you can touch it."
Slowly she dragged her finger to trace the edges of the mark, cocking her head slightly to afford a better look at it. Keith stood perfectly still but she noticed him twitch slightly once she reached the sharp curve of his jaw. It must have been painful, she thought. Since they'd lost the castle his wounds hadn't been treated properly and Allura couldn't help but feel guilty about neglecting to heal him after the battle.
"Let me fix it," she offered, flattening her hand over the stripe.
The soft blue glow emanated from the spot where she touched him. Suddenly she found herself seeing through Keith's eyes. She was transported to the place where it happened, where the two friends faced each other as enemies.
The battle with Shiro. The despair over losing his best friend. The guilt of injuring him. The fear of dying as he clung to his blade with one hand, to Shiro with the other, dangling perilously over the abyss of space.
In that moment she was him, and the emotions threatened to overtake her.
Quickly she jerked her hand away, noticing the scar remained. "I saw it," she uttered. "I saw it all. I- I felt it too."
"I'm sorry," he replied, stepping backwards to put space between them. "You didn't need to see that. You've suffered enough."
Ah, yes, the castle. She'd almost forgotten again. It was nice to have a distraction, to be honest, even if it was a painful one. Every time she thought of the last piece of her childhood being ripped from her grasp it broke her heart all over again.
And yet she realized she still had Voltron. The paladins were all still with her. He was still with her.
This time she would hold on to him with all her might. This time she would not let him run away.
Pushing up on her toes she wrapped her arms around his neck, her head tilting as she pulled closer. Hesitantly she pressed her lips against his, unsure how he might respond. After what seemed like forever- but was likely only a tick- he returned the kiss. Allura felt she might melt into the floor, that electricity might flare from her fingertips. There was so much passion, something she'd not felt the last time.
Not when she kissed Lotor.
Suddenly the mood shifted. Keith grabbed her shoulders and roughly pushed her to the side, angrily breaking the kiss.
"Him? Really, of all people you chose him?"
He didn't yell but the words dripped with venom as he hissed them at an empty corner of the room. He couldn't even bring himself to look at her. Allura's knees were trembling, her legs threatening to give out. Fumbling awkwardly she found the low table, sitting on it as she dropped her head to her arms as they folded across her lap.
The silence that engulfed the room now was unlike the one from before. It chilled the air, filling her heart with a sense of dread. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Maybe she was too impatient, too impulsive. Maybe she needed more time to heal her own wounds.
"It was stupid," she weeped. "I was stupid."
"Did you even think of me when I was gone?"
"I did," she admitted. "Really, I missed you so much."
"You know I thought of you every day I was gone."
"Then why did you leave?"
"Because there was a war going on," he responded quietly. "And I was a soldier. That's what happens-"
An exhausted Allura raised her head to meet his eyes. "You were my soldier," she spoke as tears tracked down her cheeks. "You promised to come back. Why didn't you come back?"
"Because if I had," he started, drawing in a deep breath before continuing. "If I'd returned I would have never found my mother. Or Romelle. And you'd still be Lotor's most valuable chess piece."
The last words landed like a blow to the gut. Allura didn't need to be reminded she'd been played. Used. Seduced.
This time she was the one storming out of the room and into the fading daylight. Stars hadn't yet appeared in the sky as she made her way to the garrison jeep. Finally Keith emerged from the shack and slid into the driver's seat.
A visit to the cave of the Blue lion would have to wait for another day.
