A/N: So this is my first Twilight fan fic ever. I have quite a few chapters done, but I'll be posting more later… I'm really nervous about putting them up here, so thanks for taking the time to read it! Also thanks to the loverly jayhay over at Live Journal for Betaing this one for me!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, all characters are the property of the lovely Stephenie Meyer and I make no profit off of this fic.
There was a lot of heat-I could remember that much. I thought the world might have been on fire, and I was left alone to incinerate. In one wave of consciousness, I believed that I was touching an iceberg - my right hand was so cold. I managed to open my eyes just enough to see that Edward was holding my hand.
For three days and three nights, I remained like this. I was unable to concentrate on anything but the fire ripping through my veins. At times it was so intense that I believed I would die. For three days and three nights, I was unaware of myself and my actions. A small part of me knew that I was unconscious. With the amount of pain that I was in, it was impossible for me to be awake. I vaguely remember the screaming. The ear-piercing screeches that would rouse me from this inner realm of which I had sunk into.
I
regained consciousness enough again to register my surroundings. I
listened as Edward spoke to me,
"Bella, Bella my love. Come
back to me. Come back. I will make it all better, just come back."
I could hear footsteps coming closer and something cool was pressed against my forehead. That someone kissed my cheek and whispered,
"Bella. Oh, Bella."
It was Alice. I slipped away again.
Then, there was a new sensation. The fire was gone. It was replaced by almost a calm feeling.
That's when I realized I wasn't breathing. I panicked. I truly believed I was dead, but then I heard their voices.
"How much longer, Carlisle?" Edward asked. I felt his hand shift over mine.
"This is taking longer than normal... but don't worry, Edward."
The pause made it clear that Edward gave him a panicked face. Then I heard the sound of footsteps and, by the sound of it, the door burst open.
"Have some respect, Alice," Edward growled.
"Why? I just saw her waking," she replied.
"Did we miss it? Emmett told us," Esme explained.
"Bella?" Edward said, close to my ear.
I opened my eyes to look up at him.
"Bella!" He hugged me and gave me a kiss, his eyes full of life.
I looked around Edward's room at the people standing in it-my new family. Edward was to my immediate right, looking concerned. Carlisle and Esme were beside him, Carlisle with his arm around her. Alice was beaming at the foot of my bed, while clutching Jasper's arm. He had his hands stuffed in his pockets. Rosalie looked down at me with an air of remorse to her while Emmett, who was to my immediate left, winked at me. I tried to sit up but Carlisle held me back.
"Just take it slow. You have to adjust."
"Adjust to what?" My voice sounded the same, but my mouth was completely dry as if a sponge had sucked up my saliva. I clutched at my throat and Carlisle chuckled.
"Things like that. It's not nearly so bad when you're not so-"
"Carlisle," Edward interrupted.
It was then that I noticed my hands. They were no longer the fleshy color that they were three days before. Instead, they were the strange shade of almost grey that the rest of the Cullens' skin looked like.
"Bella," Alice breathed to her. "You look absolutely gorgeous."
Esme nodded with a smile.
"I want to see myself," I said, sitting up. This time Carlisle let me.
"Rose," Emmett said. She turned around for a moment and then handed me the hand mirror off Edward's dresser.
I took it and closed my eyes. Edward squeezed my hand and I opened them to see my new face.
The face I saw in the mirror was not mine. It couldn't be. The face looking back at me was absolutely perfect, in every way. The lips I touched were perfectly plump and rounded. They moved when I told my brain to open my mouth, but they were not mine. The nose my fingers lightly ran over was like something Michelangelo could have sculpted. Same with the cheeks. But they were not mine.
At last, I willed myself to look into the eyes of the face in the mirror. The eyes looked different, pained, almost. They were red and bloodshot. There was also a hint of something else, something I had never seen in my life. It was almost like... thirst. They looked like the rest of the Cullens' when they were thirsty, black as coal. They were not mine.
I looked away and noticed that everyone but Edward had left the room. I swung my legs over the edge
of the bed and stood up in one fluid movement. I swayed on the spot and Edward grabbed my arm to help me regain my balance. I walked over to the huge window and stood looking outside and wrapped my arms around the skinny body that couldn't belong to me. Edward came and stood patiently beside me.
"It's all strange, isn't it?" he asked softly.
I nodded. "I never thought it would be like this."
He smiled his crooked smile that I love so much at me and, for the first time ever, my heart didn't beat wildly. In fact, nothing pounded against my chest. Deep inside, I knew this was what I had wanted. Yet, I didn't know that I would miss my old, human self as much as I did in that very moment.
"They're scared if me, aren't they? That's why they left."
"Bella," he muttered, though I heard it very clearly. "They are not scared of you. I mean, Jasper had a really hard time when he was a newborn, and he could be trouble. You witnessed that yourself. So don't think that. They're just giving you some time to... adjust." His eyes flickered with amusement while he said that last word.
I looked away. Immediately his arms were around me and he was pressing his lips into my neck. I sighed and turned towards him, putting my arms around his neck. I looked up into his golden eyes and closed mine as we kissed. It started out slow as usual, but when I pressed myself to him more eagerly, he didn't freeze up and stop like he usually did. Instead, he pulled me closer and began kissing me even more fiercely. I was just beginning to wonder what might result in this new change in Edward when he pulled away.
"That's enough, Bella."
I glared at him. "You said that once I turned it would be safe. That you wouldn't have to worry anymore."
He sighed. "Bella, I know I said those things, but do you truly think that it's wise for us to do that when you're just a newborn?"
I looked away. "So you're saying I'm going to have to wait another century, aren't you?"
"No, Bella. I'm not. Remember, I want this just as bad. We just have to consider your safety."
I spoke through clenched teeth and repeated myself. "But you told me you wouldn't have to worry ab-"
"I am always going to worry about you," he interrupted. "Not even you changing you into a nearly indestructible immortal can stop me from worrying about you, Bella."
I looked away and felt irritable with him. I couldn't remember ever feeling this way towards him.
"What is it, love? Something's bothering you."
"I just feel like... like... almost, fed up, I suppose you could say. I don't know what to do with myself," I admitted. "This is all so new to me."
He nodded, eyes full of understanding.
I pressed my forehead to his and continued. "I just don't know what to think. I walked over here faster than anything I could have ever imagined. And like, a million different emotions are running through my head. I'm scared of this new Bella that I've become, yet I'm excited to spend the rest of eternity with you. It's almost like I'm not myself. Look at me, Edward." I then realized that command was completely unnecessary. He was already looking at me. "It's still me on the inside, I know it, I just. Look, completely different on the outside. I never thought I could look this. This..."
"Gorgeous?" Edward offered finishing my sentence and then laughed. "Sure, to others you may look like a completely unnaturally beautiful being, but to me you're still my Bella. To me, it doesn't matter what you look like now; I saw you before. I got to know you, fell in love with you. You're my Bella...who just now happens to sparkle in the sun," he teased.
"There's something else..." I started to say.
His eyes immediately filled with worry, his face relatively calm. I reached up and touched his cheek.
"I feel almost...empty. No, that's not the right word." I let my hand drop to my side. "It's like, something's almost... it's in my stomach, and my throat. Like it's..."
"Missing something?"
"Yeah. Like it's urging me to do something and I'm putting it off, but I don't know what it is."
"You're thirsty."
The word echoed in my head for the several seconds it took me to register its meaning.
"Thirsty?"
"Yes Bella. You need to hunt."
We stood in silence for a moment, letting it sink in.
"You're brand new. All newborns are thirsty. I'll take you out to hunt now. I'll show you."
Instantly I was scared. He took my hand and started to lead me outside, but fear rooted me to the spot. I jerked his arm with the strength I didn't know I had, but it didn't seem to hurt him. He turned around to look at me, smiling.
"Yes, Bella?"
"Don't let me hurt any humans." His smile faded instantly. "I'm serious, Edward. I won't be able to live with myself if I kill a human," I whispered the last few words, but he caught them.
"Bella, I will not let you. I will take care of you. Never fear, love. Wherever you go, I go. Your pain is my pain. You die, I die. I love you Bella Cullen. Always remember that."
He kissed me very passionately and we broke away, both smiling.
"I don't plan on dying. Ever."
"Neither do I," he replied.
We then walked toward the big, open window in his room together, hand in hand. As a vampire couple.
As always, reviews are lovely and greatly appreciated!
