Sleep. Such a mysterious creature. Like the woman of your dreams; you want it, you need it. But you have no idea how to get it.

Lying there, I look over at the alarm clock. And it reads 5:37 A.M. I have to be awake by noon. I think to myself, "only a little more than 6 hours of sleep." The thought makes it harder to shut my eyes and drift off, into whatever dreams may occur. Too many thoughts race into my head.

A candy wrapper crinkles and crinkles on the dresser next to my fan. It's a niusance, I can't sleep while this is going on. I turn on the light, nearly trip over the clothes and DVD cases on the floor on the way. I throw the wrapper away, and turn the lights back off. It is now 6:13 A.M.

More thoughts race into my head. I keep losing money, and it haunts me in my sleep. Is it the last hand I lost in poker, or is it the fact that I betray my parents' orders, and gamble my hard-earned money away? Am I guilty because of what I did or because I lost? I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head. I can't get to sleep. Time passes.

It is now 7:01 A.M.

I cannot feel the cold air of the fan, and it's making me warm. I get out of bed to adjust the fan, hoping that it will help me relax, cool me off, and help bring happier thoughts to my head. Music. Bowling. Friends. Film. Happy things. But guilt shoves its way back into focus, and I once again am struggling to get it out of my thoughts. I start to toss and turn, and am constantly uncomfortable. The clock says 7:42 A.M.

Guilt is a cruel, foul beast, feasting on the weak. It's unforgiving and merciless. I can't keep facing this beast forever. I attempt a counterstrike, as the clock strikes 8 A.M. and my mother wakes up. It's time for her to go to work, in around an hour or so. I sit at the coffee table, wearing my robe that she got me for Christmas. I make a bowl of cereal, but can barely eat it. My mother makes a pot of coffee, "would you like a cup?"

"No thanks, I'm gonna try to get some sleep after I eat."

"Okay. Is everything all right? Do you have work today"

I sigh. "Mom, I have something to tell you..."

It's 8:27 A.M. I feel that the 167 pound weight has been lifted off of my back, and been put on my eyelids. I sleep.