Barren, cold and so alone

An endless plane of snow

My tears, they've frozen

To an echoing emptiness

A wasteland frozen

No warmth, no light

Where are you now, my sun, my love?

The day Atem left, my heart almost literally broke in two. It was almost a physical pain, like a heavy object falling on thin, fragile glass and shattering it into splinters. That glass was my heart.

The first few months, I never once went to bed without weeping into my pillow. I was just lucky I could keep up with school grades. Everyone could see I had finally broken. And all it took was for one man, a lingering spirit, to walk then out of my life.

The guys tried to be there for me. They dragged me out to fairs, to arcades, anywhere to get my old self back out. At first I refused. I preferred to mope, and I said it to them openly. They learnt to tone it down slightly, thanks to Yugi's understanding. He was so sweet, he tried to cheer me up his way, by being there and empathizing with me. However, he did not suffer love sickness like I did, and I soon pushed him away again.

Three months passed. I did my midyear exams. Outside, I seemed okay. I ate, drank, slept and kept up with school. Inside I was empty. Where had my faith and happiness gone? Oh yes, with the man who had taken my heart, right into the Afterlife with him. I sometimes wondered if there was any part of my heart left over. I wouldn't even talk to my family and friends. My parents, after a while, let it be, putting it down as teenage hormones. My friends were another story. They knew better why I was an empty shell, and made me stick with them, even when I didn't really crack a smile or talk. I barely looked at them at all, but sat in a little room in my mind, gradually fading.

Yugi was the most determined out of the three to cheer me up. Joey and Tristan were nearly at the end of their rope with ideas of trying to lift me out of the darkness. In fact, I had not realized I was falling into it until one day; I broke a glass flask in science. Many shards had pierced my skin, and I watched as the blood began to trickle down my arm, but felt no pain. It wasn't exactly what the stories about cutters were experiencing. It wasn't refreshing, or blissful pain. It stung, but it was like I didn't know it did. I was inside a case of ice and anything outside could try and break through the ice, but only scratch it. It almost scared me, if I hadn't been so depressed about Atem.

Yugi brought me up to the nurse's office to have it bandaged. I just sat on a chair like a limp doll, no soul and happiness, just a shell of what had been there before, months ago. Before the man of my dreams had left.

Yugi was more alarmed by my lack of reaction then by the amount of blood pouring out of my hand. He waited for the nurse to finish the bandaging and walk outside to call my parents to take me to the doctor. He then closed the door and locked it, as if I could escape with him blocking it. He had had enough of waiting while only pricking the surface.

"Tea, I know it hurts. I know. And you won't be able to get over it easily. But please, at least let us in. All we've done is drag an empty shell around for the past few months. The glass that smashed into your hand must have hurt a heck of a lot, but you acted like you had only just spilt water on your palm. Please, let us help."

It poured out of his mouth as if he had been waiting to say it for months. All I could do was looked at him, shocked. I had never heard him speak so desperately to me before. It managed to drive a little deeper into my wall of ice, but not really. I was almost too far gone.

"I'll be fine Yugi, I just need to leave it and it'll fade. I'm not crying anymore right? So it has to be getting better, so don't worry," I replied almost mechanically.

"Forgive me Tea," he said, and before I could ask why, he pulled his hand back and slapped me across one cheek. The sharp sting made me gasp and my hands flew up to cradle my stinging cheek, staring at him. I was shocked. Yugi, doing this? I mean, he'd be the last person I'd think of to hit someone, let alone one of his friends.

"That hurt, didn't it, Tea?" He asked with stern eyes. His eyes…they were different. Narrowed slightly now, but not really like Atem's, Yugi's eyes were gentler, and larger. Where had the familiar innocence gone, the sweet child like look?

"Tea, wake up. You're not getting better, you're getting worse. You can't even react to pain properly anymore. What happened to the old Tea? She wouldn't let herself fall into this state. C'mon, you're stronger then that." His voice too, it had finally broken. How come I hadn't heard the change?

"The old Tea died when-when- when he left," I replied rather dully. I felt myself waking up, but at the same time trying to go back to that unfeeling sleep. I stopped rubbing my now normal cheek and turned my head to the floor, now not only avoiding his eyes, but his whole face. He stopped the action by putting a hand under my chin and tilting it up so my eyes reluctantly met his.

"No. I can still see her in there, locked in. Let her out, Tea. It will hurt, but it'll truly stop afterwards. At least try, if not for yourself, for Atem. Would he want to see you this way, in pieces?"

That was like a second slap to my face. No, Atem would want me to be happy and keep living, not just existing, but living truly. My ice barrier was in pieces, I had woken up. I opened my mouth to thank Yugi, but observing him for the first time in a long while properly, my voice stuck in my throat.

He…he couldn't be Yugi. He wasn't Atem either. His eyes were a little narrow, somewhat stern and incredibly compelling, not in Atem's way, but more with the empathy he could stretch to another person suffering. His eyes were an open book for his emotions to talk to you. His high cheekbones were more defined now, with a firm jaw. He might have been working out, or it was the brawls he had to pull Joey out of, but his arms, without his jacket, were now slender with slightly noticeable, supple muscles. Through his tight black muscle shirt I could even see the beginnings of a pack coming on, a fact I blushed at as I took it in. Also, was it just me, or did he get a sudden growth spurt? Even with him sitting next to me, he was still taller by a few centimeters. When I last remembered, he had been a head shorter standing and half a head shorter then me while they were sitting.

"Uh, Tea?" Yugi asked, his ears reddening slightly with embarrassment from my sudden scrutiny. I cleared my head, and then spoke.

"Yes Yugi, you're right. I don't know if I can do it, but I'll try…"

"That's the Tea we know," he smiled, and I felt my eyes widen again before returning to normal again. Since when had Yugi been so…manly? I nearly laughed at the thought, comparing him to the short, shy and innocent Yugi I had known before the magic started. As it was, I giggled, and it felt so foreign on my face. Had it really been so long since I smiled? Apparently it was, since Yugi's eyes nearly widened to their used-to-be size. He asked what was so funny, but the only reply he got at the time was another giggle. I felt like I had just woken from a long sleep and was blinking my eyes, taking in everything like a curious newborn.

The nurse came back in at that moment, asking why the door was locked. Yugi made up an excuse, and then he walked me to mum's car. I managed to crack another real smile for him before we pulled out of the school. Mum saw, and also nearly popped her eyes out. Instead, she asked, "Did something good happen today, dear?"

I replied with, "I've woken up after sleeping." I think she understood, because she stopped staring at me in astonishment and only hummed quietly to herself.

Joey and Tristan's reactions were nearly the same as my mum and Yugi's when I smiled. They actually looked as if they were going to faint. I managed a giggle, but it would take almost the rest of that year until I could fully crack up laughing on the floor again. I doubted ever loving another again, but at least I knew I was no longer falling into the dark. I was flying up, still a little jerky at times, but flying nevertheless.

Last year of high school came and went, and before I knew it, I was getting acceptance letters from different universities and preparing for graduation. That was when it dawned on me that I had survived and not just existed, but lived again, and I had never properly thanked Yugi for reviving me. I owed him so much!

It was strange, since I had hated her before, but I found myself becoming great friends with Mai. She was great support, in that strange, tough girl way. She and Joey had begun dating a few months after I learned to live again. Tristan, with his new and admittedly more handsome haircut, had finally been granted permission from Joey to date Serenity. Joey accepted it but he winced at even a kiss on the cheek.

Yugi…well, he was single and famous, as he still retained his King of Duelists title, and combined with his new, more teenage man looks, girls continually dropped hints at him. I found myself rather infuriated with them. Why should I be angry at them? He was even a little rich now, a mix of his part ownership with Industrial Illusions and part because of all the tournaments he won.

We were soon in college. Yugi, Joey and Tristan had actually managed to pick up their grade. Yugi even made it up to A's mostly. Joey and Tristan never went below C, and that was occasional. All three made it to Domino University. I never went to New York. It was a rather childish dream, and with the way I was when Atem left, I wasn't really in any condition to dance properly. Now I had joined a university dedicated to arts such as acting, singing or dancing, on the other side of town. We were a pretty well known university, as the region's best dancers came from there. It was good enough for me, and I could still see my friends. I had moved into my own apartment with the part-time job I held. As back up if my dancing stuffed up, I put archaeology as my second. I had the courage to face things related to Atem now, and I knew I was over him. Thing was, I think that was because I had fallen for someone else.

Yugi had grown so much, and I had never truly realized until all these changes struck me at one time. I was wary of being heart broken again, so I hid it carefully and squished it into a corner of my mind. It just grew there. When he began to date other girls, boy was I jealous. Gosh, I could have been Rebecca at twelve, but without the outside tantrum. Strangely, he never made it up to a kiss stage with any of them. Joey and Tristan teased him a lot with that.

He did confess that he loved me, half way through university. He had been looking at me almost longingly for a few months. I put it down to missing a good friend. In fact, we had confessed our feelings during an argument. I was considering giving a guy who asked me out a chance, and had told Yugi that too. The guy turned out to be a guy from his university lectures who was a real pervert despite his handsome face. We ended up with an argument as I thought Yugi was being too overprotective of me.

"I don't want you to be hurt Tea! I love you too much for that!" he yelled at his grandpa's game store. He helped his still living grandpa running it. As soon as those words left his mouth, he snapped his mouth closed and stared at himself, wide-eyed. I just stood there, gaping at him speechlessly.

"Yugi? Is that really true?" I asked softly. He mumbled, then cleared his throat, looking almost like the nervous boy I was friends with in middle school.

"Yes. I love you Tea, but it's okay if you don't," he said rather dejectedly, and began to walk out the room. I didn't really know what I was doing until he stopped and turned around, and then I realized I had put an arm on his shoulder to stop him. All my new, pent-up emotions spilled out.

"I love you too Yugi. Maybe it took a while for me to wake up, but I love you."

He had leapt up and crushed me in a surprisingly strong hug, then asked, "Really? You don't have to feel like you have to Tea, being in love…with Atem."

No, I used to love Atem. But I had healed, it had died as logic and acceptance had seeped in. There was no doubt now I loved Yugi. He was always there for me, and now I recognized that even since before Atem came into our lives, Yugi had been watching and waiting to see if I could ever reply back to him with the same emotion.

Our relationship started slow at first, then grew to the point that, like Joey and Mai had done at the start of university, Yugi and I moved into our own apartment.

It's been two years since we started going out. Right now I'm just remembering these things, memories that have taught me a deep lesson. Yugi and I are engaged, soon to be married. He even sent an invitation to the Kaibas, though he says he wouldn't be surprised if only Mokuba replied. Aside from the fact the elder Kaiba hates Yugi, he's also been planning to build some sort of a duel academy, according to rumour, which would keep him quite busy for the next few months. Yugi's job, unfortunately, ties him to Kaiba, since he runs part of Industrial Illusions, and sometimes has to meet with Kaiba and Pegasus.

As I stand near the window, watching the full moon through an open window and waiting for Yugi to come home from his meeting, I feel a breeze swish around me as if it was embracing me. It felt strangely warm though, and rather familiar.

"Best wishes to you and Aibou…" a voice seemed to whisper, before fading completely with the wind. I smiled. My heart no longer fell apart, the scar sewed up by the very man that had just come in through the front door from a meeting.

A whisper of warmth

A trickle of sunlight

A steady bath of hope

And slowly the ice

Becomes fresh water

A spring for faith and love

My tears, they've gone

An oasis of euphoria

Farewell my old flame

And greetings to my hope, my life

My new love