set me free, leave me be
i don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Katara is twenty-three years old and her life is not what she thought it would be at all.
She is married to the Avatar, because it is expected of her, and Katara always lives up to expectations. She is married to Aang for the sake of the people.
She meets up with him for the sake of her own sanity. She does it because she wants to. She does it because she can't bring herself to stop, and he can't either.
Zuko is twenty-five, and he doesn't think his life could get any more screwed up than it already is. He is happy with Mai, yet there is something about Katara that keeps him tied to her. She is the moon and he is her tide, and she pushes him away and pulls him closer to her all at the same time.
It had started out as a meeting between two (former?) friends.
It ended up being much more complicated than that.
Katara can't really remember how the problem began, or who initiated it, just that she literally jumped out of the bed and rushed to put her clothes on and oh shit I was not planning to stay this late.
"You probably weren't planning for, uh, all this to happen either," Zuko had said smugly, his arms clasped together behind his head.
Katara gave him a glare and walked over to him, struggling to put her hair up.
"Listen here, Zuko," she spat, "If you think that this is going to turn into something, you're wrong. We are nothing."
And she turned on her heel and stomped out the door, without even glancing back.
He didn't expect her to show up again.
She did.
"I guess I wasn't just a one-night stand then, huh?" Zuko teased as Katara slammed him against the wall.
"Shut up," she commanded, right before smashing her lips to his.
Zuko obliged.
"I told you," Katara managed to say, through gasps of air and feverishly hot kisses, "that we are nothing."
"Really?"
Zuko hoisted her legs up so they were around his waist, and rotated her so that she was the one against the wall now.
"Then please explain to me," he said, pressing his body against hers, "why are you here right now?"
She slapped him hard across the face, then, on the side where his scar was. The pain stung for a brief moment, then became numb.
"Fuck you," she said fiercely, attempting to push him off of her.
But Zuko stood firmly. He lowered his head so that his face was right next to hers; the painful, throbbing sting of his cheek pulsing against her own.
"I believe," he whispered, "that's what you came here to do, right? So let's get on with it."
For once Katara did not protest.
Zuko was reading the paper when one of his servants stood outside of his door and told him he had a visitor.
He got up and opened the door himself, much to the elderly man's protest.
A familiar young woman stood on his doorstep, leaning against the wall with an amused smile on her face.
"Hello, Zuko," she greeted. "Missed me?"
He didn't reply at first, just grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her inside before biting her lip so hard he drew blood, emitting a gasp from Katara.
"Don't ever," he breathed, following the trail of red trickling down her lip with his tongue, "make me wait like that again."
It was raining steadily outside Zuko's bedroom when Katara was laying beside him, both of them breathing hard and sweating heavily in the aftermath when she suddenly turned away from him, facing the wall.
"Zuko," she said, in such a quiet tone it was seconds later before Zuko had realized she had spoken at all, "we can't do this anymore."
He did not respond.
"I'm... I'm pregnant," she continued. After taking a deep breath, she added, "and I don't know whose it is."
Zuko laid there, staring at the ceiling, grateful for the fact that Katara could not see his state of shock.
After blinking once, he managed to say, "Katara, if it's mine-"
"I really don't even want to consider that," Katara snapped, her voice as sharp as a double-bladed sword.
"But Katara, if it is-"
The covers were suddenly whipped off the bed and the candle burning by the bed was extinguished as Katara sat up and faced Zuko, a steely glint to her blue eyes.
"And what if it is your child, Zuko? What are you going to do about it?" she hissed.
"I-I would accept full responsibility of-"
"Bullshit!" Katara screamed, and the pond out in the garden could be heard splashing. "That is absolute, utter bullshit, and you and I both know it! You can't even accept the responsibility of being a fucking husband, much less a child! What would happen to your precious honor, Fire Lord Zuko?"
Her words rang in the still air, allowing the both of them to process what she had just said.
Finally, she fell back on the bed with a sigh and a thump, but still did not say anything.
It was Zuko who broke the silence at last.
"Goodbye, Katara."
When Katara looked over at him in disbelief, Zuko was still staring at the ceiling with an emotionless face. It was hard to believe he had said anything at all.
"You said this was the last time, right? And now that you've said what you've wanted to say, goodbye."
She nodded slowly, taking in his words.
"Okay, I see how it is." she replied, getting off of the bed. She put her clothes on hastily, and took a moment to adjust her appearance in the mirror. "We were just fuck buddies anyways, right?"
"I believe," said Zuko, "you were the one that said we were nothing at all."
"Okay," she repeated. "Goodbye, Fire Lord Zuko."
And with that, she walked out of his room without looking back.
Katara is tucking her robes away in a bag when she hears a quick rap on the front door. She picks up Kya from her crib, balancing on her hip, before walking to the door and opening it.
The sight of her visitor is so shocking she almost drops her child.
"Zuko?" she asks in astonishment. He is dressed in his typical royal attire, looking the same way he did since she last saw him.
Which was two years ago.
The Fire Lord's lips curve into a sad smile as his eyes trail from her face down to the baby latched on her hip, who watches him curiously.
"Hello, Katara," he greets. He crouches down to meet the child's eye level. "You must be Kya," he observes, a dull shine to his amber eyes. "You look just like your father."
Katara swears she sees his bottom lip quiver.
But the moment is gone quickly, and Zuko stands up, the smile back on his face.
"I just came for a visit," he explains, noticing Katara's suspicion. "I heard you and Aang are moving?"
"He's founding a place called Air Temple Island," she confirms. "It's off the coast of Republic City."
"Ah," Zuko nods.
"Aang isn't here," swallows Katara. "He's off doing some last minute stuff."
"Ah," he repeats. "Tell him I wish him the greatest of luck."
Katara just blinks.
"Listen," she states matter-of-factly, "if you're here for some quick fuck, you're not going to get one."
"I- what? Katara-"
"I'm just telling you," she explains, tears gathering in her eyes for a reason she can't explain. "I've got a kid now. And if you think you can just come in here and fuck me up and walk right back out, you're wrong. I've got a family that I'm not going to let you tear apart."
"Katara, I came here because I missed you-"
"Shut up!" snaps Katara, wiping at her eyes. "Just shut up, okay? Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it. You didn't miss me. You missed fucking me senseless without any obligations-"
"Katara-"
"Didn't I tell you to shut up-"
"Katara!" Zuko yells, his voice laced with desperation. "Listen. Just listen to me. I-I love-"
"No," Katara interjects, her voice barely above a whisper. "Please, no. Zuko-"
"I love you, Katara," he finishes, and he sinks down on a chair next to him, holding his head in his hands. "Spirits, I know I shouldn't, Katara. I know you don't feel the same way. I know that it's so wrong, but I can't help it. Dammit, I love you, Katara."
"Zuko-"
"I better get going," interrupts Zuko, standing from the chair. "I've said what I've had to say. Goodbye, Katara. I wish you nothing but happiness." He begins to walk to the door.
"Wait!" Katara cries out. "Zuko! Wait."
Zuko stops walking and turns his head back a fraction of an inch.
"Zuko." Katara walks towards him, and he turns around, wondering what she has to say.
"Goodbye," she whispers, and she leans forward and kisses him softly.
It does not take long for Zuko to respond.
His hands cup her chin gently, and they stay like that, kissing with tears dripping down both of their faces, tasting of salt and misery. Katara's hands are still cradled around her baby, and it is only when Kya begins fussing that the pair of them break apart.
"Goodbye, Katara," Zuko says with a nod. "Goodbye, Kya."
Katara bites her lip.
"Goodbye, Zuko."
She watches as he walks out of the door, and out of her life.
Gone forever, just like that.
And it is only until Katara is unpacking her clothes in her new house - in her new life - does she realize that the only gentle, innocent, kiss the two of them shared was their last.
end.
