Title: That Thing You Do
Author: S J Smith
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: Don't own any of MCU, certainly don't own the Hawkeye Initiative.
Summary: What's with that thing you do, Clint?
Written for the prompt, Avengers; Hawkeye; he finds The Hawkeye Initiative is a thing (and decides to run with it).
Work Text:"Okay," Tony said, frowning at Clint, "explain."
"Explain what?" Clint took a long drink from his glass, raising his eyebrows.
Tony leaned across the table. "You know what. The thing. With the," his hands gestured along his own body as he jutted his chest forward, and his butt back, and twisted a little sideways and pursed his mouth. "The thing! That thing you've been doing!"
Clint gave him a nonplussed look. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Tony."
"You do, too," Bruce said. When Clint turned to him, he spread his hands. "This isn't the first time I – we – have seen it."
"You're out of your mind, Tony," Clint said.
"I think not," Thor said, "I have noticed your posing, too."
"Me, too," Steve agreed, reaching for the next to the last slice of pizza.
"I figured you were doing it for Tasha," Tony muttered, picking up a glass and hiding behind it, as if a glass would protect him from the Black Widow.
Natasha, for her part, just quirked her mouth down and her eyebrow up. "As if you don't pose for Pepper."
"Hey, she's my girlfriend," Tony said, eyebrows wagging at the realization, "does that mean you two?" He waved his glass between them.
"Oh, yes, we're in a mutual relationship," Natasha agreed, deadpan. "I watch his back, he watches mine. Sometimes, we watch the rest of yours, as well."
Clint grinned. "Don't pull the tiger's tail."
"I'm not, I'm yanking your chain," Tony said, "and you still haven't explained about the posing." He leaned across the table separating them. "You're secretly…flexible?"
Clint sighed, seeing all the eyes turned on him, in varying degrees of curiosity. "JARVIS? Can you call up the Hawkeye Initiative blog?"
"Of course, Mr. Barton," came the AI's voice.
"You have a blog?" Nearly bouncing in his chair like a kid with a toy, Tony grinned. "Really?"
"No, I don't. But be prepared for what you see. It ain't pretty." Clint turned to the screen, wincing at the images posted sometime today.
"What the," Tony whispered.
"Is that me?" Steve asked, then, "my costume's not that revealing!"
Tony whistled and clapped, much as Clint expected. "That's – that's – hey, that's me. Mmm, look at my butt!"
Thor said, "I do not understand. What are these renditions supposed to represent? Victory in battle? Sexual prowess?"
"That's what I'm talking about," Tony pointed at Thor without taking his eyes off the screen.
"I don't think the human body actually can hold that position without removing the rib cage," Bruce said.
Natasha quietly took the last piece of pizza, not really caring about what was on JARVIS's screen.
"Well," Clint said, "if you look, you'll see some overly-endowed women, posing in very unnatural ways that accentuate their, ah, breasts and butts. Or thighs and," he waved at the screen, where a comic book heroine sat, spread-legged and tossing her hair. "Anyway, some people thought it'd be funny to draw me in the same positions, and, uh." He shrugged. "I found out about it?"
"And you decided to do the poses for real?" Tony's eyes widened for a second, then he nodded. "Genius, sheer genius."
"Glad you approve." Clint inclined his head to Tony. "So, you wanna play, too?"
"Hell, yeah."
Of course he would. Clint glanced at the others around the table. Natasha rolled her eyes. "No," she said. "Before you start, Tony, no, absolutely no, not in ever."
"Aww."
"I don't think the Big Guy cares," Bruce said, bemused. "Who took the last piece of pizza?" Natasha grinned at him, wagging her wedge of pie before taking a healthy bite of it.
"I can certainly pose," Thor said, "for a worthwhile cause."
"Is it worthwhile?" Steve wanted to know. "Is it going to promote better art? Or any type of discussion?"
"Probably not," Clint admitted, grinning. "But it is kind of fun, when a photographer catches you in a pose, and the blog lights up about it."
"Exhibitionist. And I thought I was bad," Tony grumped.
Steve shook his head. "I'm ordering another pizza." Getting out of the chair, he started across the room for the land line telephone. He picked up the receiver, and struck a pose.
Natasha wolf-whistled. Thor cheered. Bruce shook his head. Clint smirked. Tony snapped a picture with his cellular. "That's it, baby, work the camera. We should all do a few of these, bet we could sell the pictures as calendars. Maybe raise some money, for…something? I'll talk to Pepper, she'll know about the marketing. 'The Avengers Initiative'? Or should it be 'Hawkeye Initiative and Friends'? Hmm."
Natasha shook her head at Clint, mouthing, 'See what you've started?'
He spread his hands, mouthing back, 'Yeah, ain't it great?'
She sighed as Thor got out of his chair, posing for Tony. It was going to be a very, very long night.
~ end ~
