This is a short story that had been in my head for quite a while now. I would often play this moment out in my head and now I was finally able to let my thoughts and imaginations become words. The love story between Annie and Finnick is so beautiful and delicate - I hope that I managed to capture it properly.
If you read this, please leave a review. It would mean the world to me to know what you thought about this. Also, this is a OneShot, so there won't be a continuation. There's no need to follow this story.
All she ever did was wait for him. Wait for Finnick to come home, to come back to her. And even though Annie told herself every single time that she would stop waiting now, that she couldn't take it anymore, she knew at the same time that she could never bear to lose him. Even though everyone thought that he was the Capitol's golden boy, that no one could have him because everyone wanted him, Annie knew the truth.
Finnick Odair had already given his heart away. To her. To Annie. His heart was hers.
Yet, no one was allowed to know about it. No one could know that they were together, that they loved each other. Sometimes all she wanted to do was shout it out into the world, tell everyone that she loved Finnick and that he loved her. That they belonged together and that no one could do anything about it. Not the Capitol and its power, nor President Snow. Though in the end, both were the same – President Snow was the Capitol, the Capitol was President Snow.
Without him, without the Hunger Games, Finnick would never have gotten into the situation he was in now. And Annie could do nothing to help him. She knew that he wanted her to stay out of it, to just bear what was unbearable. The thought of what Finnick had to do every time he had to travel to the Capitol... Finnick never told her, but it didn't take a lot of imagination for Annie to know what he had to do when he was there.
He had to meet women there. Women with whom he had to spend a night.
The Capitol, the whole of Panem thought that Finnick was a heart breaker, when he was just the complete opposite of that. Sometimes Annie thought that she was the only one who knew the real him, who knew how Finnick really was. Even even though it made her feel special, it made her sad as well. She was the only one Finnick showed his true feelings to, the only one with whom he was able to be himself.
Of course there was also Mags, someone whom he trusted with his life. But with Annie, things were different. Finnick and her trusted each other with everything. He was the only one who knew the real Annie – it wasn't just the other way around. Everyone in Panem thought that Annie had lost her mind when she had been in the arena. Everyone thought that it must have been sheer luck that someone like her had been able to win the Hunger Games. They thought that she was mad. That poor mad girl from District 4.
In the end, though, being mad had spared her from being used as one of President Snow's Victor puppets. But that did not take her pain away about Finnick being used by him. Finnick did everything President Snow asked of him – not because he wanted to, but because he wanted to protect the ones he loved from being hurt by Snow.
Most of all, to protect her.
Finnick was the only one who could see through that mad girl facade she had build around herself. That had been build around herself. Annie had never been able to forget about her Games, to forget about the horrible things she had seen. Sometimes she would lose herself in daydreams. She would just dream with open eyes, letting her mind wander off to places far away from the bitterness and cruelty that was Panem. Dreaming of somewhere where she could be truly happy, where she would not have to be afraid.
Finnick was the only one who was able to get through to her.
In the beginning, Annie had not let him. But he hadn't given up. And along the way, Annie had lost her heart to Finnick. He had made some of her dreams come true. Even though Panem was still real, the Hunger Games still existed, she was still haunted by nightmares, he managed to make her happy.
Whenever they were together, Annie felt truly happy. When they were together, she felt like she could do anything, she could get through anything, just because Finnick was by her side.
But when he wasn't with her, the fears and nightmares came rushing back. Annie wasn't able to hide from them, to keep them away from her. Sometimes she would lie awake at night, crying, wishing that Finnick was with her, chasing away the monsters threatening to hurt her.
Finnick wasn't there, though.
Taking a deep breath, Annie turned to take a look at the clock hanging above the kitchen door. It was past midnight already. She was at Finnick's house, where she spent most of her days since they had gotten together, even when he was not in District 4. Even though she was all alone, she still felt closer to Finnick when she was in his house.
Annie got up from her chair, wanting to go to bed, when she heard the door being opened. Surprised, she turned around to see Finnick coming in, walking straight towards her.
She had not expected him to be back tonight. Annie hadn't even known when she had expected Finnick to come back at all.
"Finn!" she breathed, afraid that maybe he was just an image her mind had conjured up, that maybe he was not real and that the monsters were back to hurt her even more.
But when Finnick stood right before her, cupping her delicate face in his hands, she knew that he was real. That he was really there. "You're back. I can't believe it. I thought that you would be gone for at least another few days. "I have missed you so much!"
Before Finnick could even say something, Annie had thrown her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder, breathing in his scent. She had missed him so much. Every time when Finnick was gone, it felt like like a part of her heart was missing. Whenever he got back to her, however, Annie felt complete again.
"I have missed you, too. You can't even begin to imagine how much I have missed you. I wish that I would never have to leave again. To never leave you again. I wish that I could stay with you forever." Taking a shaky breath, Finnick locked his arms around her waist, pulling Annie even closer to him. His lips brushed the top of her head.
"How was it? In the Capitol?" she asked him softly, even though Annie already knew how it had been like for Finnick there.
For a moment, she felt his whole body tense. Annie just snuggled closer to him, one of her hands stroking his back reassuringly, the other one tangled in his messy blonde hair. "I'm sorry. I should not have asked. We shouldn't even think about it..."
"It's okay, Annie. It was... Well, I hated every second I had had to spent in the Capitol."
He had hated every second he'd had to spent in another woman's bed room, having to kiss and touch a woman that was not Annie. Having to have sex with a woman that was not Annie.
Annie knew that he had had sex with other women whenever he came back from the Capitol. It hurt her, knowing that he had been close to other women. But Annie knew that he did not choose this – that he did not want this. He had to do it. If he rejected Snow's demands, he would destroy Finnick's life.
And destroying his life meant destroying the only person in this world Finnick truly cared about, he loved more than his life. Annie.
Still Annie could even smell it on him when he'd had sex with another woman. He would always shower before coming back to District 4, trying to wash off the stench of that Capitol good-time girls he'd had to share a bed with.
Annie and Finnick never talked about what he had to do whenever he was at the Capitol, even though both of them knew exactly what he had to do. Annie didn't want to hear more about it. Even though she knew that Finnick was not cheating on her, that he did no enjoy even a second of what was happening, it hurt her to know that he had to suffer through so much.
And he did it to protect her. Not to protect his own life, but to protect her.
Often when he would come back home from the Capitol, Finnick and Annie would spend the whole night making love to each other, gently and passionately at the same time, looking each other in the eyes the whole time, as if they wanted to make sure that the other one was still there. As if Finnick wanted to make sure that she had waited for him again.
As if he was scared that, someday, she would be gone when he came back home. That someday she could not bear waiting for him anymore.
"You're back now. You're home. That's everything that matters." Annie pulled away from him a little so she could look at him again. "Don't think about what happened in the Capitol anymore. Everything's okay now. You're with me, you're back home. And that you're here earlier than I would have expected, that's even better. We could go to the beach tomorrow. Just sit there. Or we could go sailing. Whatever you want. As long as I'm with you."
Finnick smiled at her and touched his lips to her forehead, kissing her gently. "Thinking about you always makes me feel better when I'm away from District 4. I try to imagine your voice talking to me, I conjure your face up in my mind, like taking a mental picture of you I can look at every time I want to. But it is nothing compared to having you with me for real. Nothing. You don't even know how much you mean to me, Annie. How much better you make my life."
Sighing, he said, "Sometimes I don't even think that I would want to go on living if I did not have you."
"But you have me." Annie said softly. She took his hand in hers and without saying another word, the young woman took him up the stairs into his bedroom. Only with Finnick could she be this open, this confident.
When she turned to look at him again, she pulled her shirt over her head. Finnick's eyes wandered over her body, taking everything of her in at once. His eyes rested on her naked breasts for a moment before he looked her in the eyes again. There was so much longing, so much desire in them. When his hands touched her waist, her naked skin, it felt like she was catching on fire. When Finnick kissed her, Annie thought that she might burst into flames. She locked her arms around the back of his neck and kissed him back with such fierceness that their bodies pressed against each other almost automatically, wanting to feel as much of each other as possible.
Finnick laid her gently down on the bed and before he leaned closer to her, he had pulled his shirt over his head, too. He came back down to her, propping himself up on his arms so he would not crash her body with his weight. Their lips found each other again. She felt his tongue slid softly over her lips and with a moan she let him inside of her. Their tongues seemed to be starting a dance around each other.
Her hands slid over his chest, wanting to touch every bit of skin she could reach. They kissed each other for a very long time before Finnick's lips moved over her jawline, placing kissed on her neck, making Annie's body under him shiver with pleasure. He kissed his way down her chest. When his lips touched her breasts, Annie couldn't push back the moan escaping her throat.
His lips seemed to be everywhere. Her skin was on fire. It felt good, so good. Only when he was with her, when he was touching her, did she feel so alive. So complete.
When Finnick's lips met hers again, she whispered against them, "I love you. I love you so much. Don't ever leave me again."
Annie knew that she should not have said that. Finnick could not promise her to never leave her again because both of them knew well enough that he would not have any other choice than to leave her when he had to. And yet Annie hadn't been able to keep these words from escaping her lips.
"I love you, too. I love you so much that it sometimes hurts, Annie." he said hoarsely, pulling her even closer to him. "And I wish that I could tell you that I will never leave you again... Though I can promise that I will never leave you willingly, Annie."
They looked each other in the eyes for a moment, smiling softly and yet sadly. Annie did not say anything, though. The moment was perfect enough without having to say anything at all. She pulled Finnick back down to her, kissing him once again, gripping at his hair and wrapping her legs around his waist.
X X X
Hours later, Annie and Finnick lay in bed, still feeling a little out of breath. Her head rested against his chest and his hand was tangled in her brown curls, stroking it gently.
She placed kisses on his feverishly hot skin, snuggling as close to him as she possibly could, as if she wanted to fold them into one person desperately. Annie never wanted to be parted from Finnick again and yet she knew that she did not have any other choice.
"There's something I need to tell you." he said at last, taking a deep breath. Annie looked up to him, though Finnick wasn't looking at her. He was staring at the ceiling. Dread was creeping inside her veins, making Annie feel nauseous.
"What is it?"
It took Finnick a long moment to answer before he finally looked at her, brushing a loose strand of hair out of her face. "I will have to go back to the Capitol tomorrow evening. It seems like I have to stay for at least a few weeks this time. I am so sorry. So sorry. I know that I probably shouldn't have come here to just leave again, but the prospect of not seeing you for weeks... I couldn't handle it. I had to see you. I know that it is selfish of me to get your hopes up, making love to you only to crush all your hopes right after. I am truly sorry, Annie."
She looked at him for a moment, shock and sadness fighting each other inside of her. Annie knew that Finnick would have to leave again eventually. Though she hadn't thought that it would be so soon.
"It's not your fault, Finn. You can't do anything about it. And I'm not mad at you. It'll be hard for me, it'll be unbearable to let you go again only tomorrow. But I would have been even more disappointed if you would not have come. Even if it was just for a few hours."
"Will you wait for me, Annie?"
He always asked her that question. Every single time before he had to leave for the Captiol, he asked her if she would wait for him. And even though he knew her answer, even though Annie knew exactly what she was going to say to him, he still asked. And it still took her a moment to answer.
She looked at him, losing herself in the depths of his green eyes for a moment. Without hesitation, she said, "Of course I will wait for you, Finn. I will always be here when you come back home. Always. And I know that, someday, you will come home and won't ever leave me again."
Finnick smiled softly at her, though she knew what he was thinking. That he thought that this dream she was dreaming was hopeless – that he would never be of President Snow, of the Capitol's might.
But Annie believed in it. Someday they could really be together, start a family, have a life together.
"I hope that this day will come soon, Annie."
He pulled her to him once again, kissing her again and again and again.
