A/N: This is just something that popped into my head while I was sitting upstairs in my room twiddling my thumbs because the Pretender didn't come on today! But anyways this is a small excerpt of something I thought Jarod might write in a diary! I don't know if it's any good or not, so please R&R!
Disclaimer: I really wish I created the pretender but that honor does not belong to me!
Dear Diary,
It's been yet another torturous night. Nightmares continue to haunt me during my sleep. There's nothing I can do to get rid of them. I've tried everything from counting to sheep to sleeping pills. The counting sheep thing didn't work simply because I am too patient sometimes. After waking up from a particularly violent dream, I started and ended up counting sheep all the way up into one million. Sleeping pills won't work because I just continue the nightmare without ever waking up. In the end, I wake up somehow less refreshed then I was before falling asleep. In general, I tend to get anywhere from three to six hours of sleep a night, although I'm very lucky to get six.
I feel so alone sometimes. Every day is like a fight against the loneliness that threatens to drown me. The only real thing that keeps me going is the search for my family, which is unfortunately going nowhere. I am constantly living in a prison sentence that never ends. I remember telling somebody once that the worse kind of prison is the kind you have to wake up to every morning. The kind where you know somebody is hunting you, and plotting to take you back to a place you are running from by any means necessary. Especially when that somebody is a person you love more than life itself. Of course I'm speaking of Miss Parker. I would do anything for her, as long as it would not jeopardize her life. I would even give up my hard earned freedom to make sure she survived. Somehow she continues to ignore this and hunts we without fail. Ever day it's the same "you run I chase" game we have been playing for years. However, I know she feels what I feel. A feeling of completeness of wholeness. Something neither of us have never quite had and yet we have desperately longed for. That's why I have never truly disappeared without a trace. I am very well capable of doing so, but being near her keeps me sane.
Sometimes I think her life has been more torturous then mine. Everyday she tries to gain the approval of a father that doesn't really love her. Of a father who has never been there for her. Never. The only person that was ever truly there for her, in her eyes anyway, was her mother. She doesn't deserve the hand she has been dealt in life. I hope one day she will see the truth. The truth that she has one person who she can always trust and always rely on. Myself. I truly believe that we were meant to be together. Destiny brought us together all of those many years ago, and fate has kept us apart.
Jarod
A/N: So what'd you think? Is it good, Bad, kinda good? Please R&R! And for those of you who have read my other Pretender fic, The Insanity of Our Lives, I'm sorry that I haven't added to that in a long time. You have no idea how much homework I've had. Not only that but I kind of had a case of writer's block, and I haven't quite overcome it.
