Chapter One
Mihael Keehl was a very happy man, albeit with a temper problem. He was single out of sheer choice (and the fact everyone thought he was female, so noone would respond, but he wouldn't tell anyone that) and shared a rather large apartment with his twin sister, Misa Amane Keehl. Due to the fact that Misa was an internationally-famous model, she had legally dropped her surname so only her forename and middle-name remained (she thought it was more 'glamorous').
Mihael has a nickname used only by his sister, and her boyfriend Light Yagami (which our protagonist wasn't too happy about). It was "Mello". This particular nickname was unintentionally ironic. Sure, he had a temper problem, hence him not being 'mellow', but his first word was "yellow", something he could not properly pronounce at his tender age; it came out as "mello". Hence the nickname.
Anyways, there came a day when Mello was sitting in his bed. He e was hung-over from his part-time bartending job at the local pub. Strangely, he could only remember jumping on the desk screaming, "WHO LOVES THE CHOCOLATE? EVERYONE LOVES THE CHOCOLATE! NOBODY HATES THE CHOCOLATE, 'COS EVERYONE LOVES THE CHOCOLATE!" Yeah, it was an eventful night which almost got him fired. Silly Mello.
So, Mello was under the covers writhing in agony while sighing at the peace that Misa-less life could bring. That didn't last long though. "MEEELLOOO! Misa-Misa has arrived!" screeched none other that Misa, clad in what could only be described as a giant lemon with a green hat topping her blonde hair to complete the outfit. Mello groaned, "Oh, bog off Misa. I'm not in the mood…" However, his eyes widened with utter shock when he saw Misa's atrocious outfit. "What the Near are you wearing?"
"Mel-Mel! Don't be sillyyyy! I'm advertising Lightykins' new lemonade brand; it's called Kira's Lemonade! I'd do anything for my future husband!" chanted the obnoxious airhead with a suggestive wink. Mello was severely scarred from both that experience and its implications.
"Yeah, okay Misa… Leave me alone now?"
"Kaykay! Misa-Misa has left cereal in the oven. Bye Mels!"
Mello was up in a flash, sprinting to remove the Frosties to prevent yet another call to the fire service. Seriously, the firemen knew their names. He took two headache tablets, dizzy from the sudden rush, and collapsed onto the sofa, falling into a deep slumber.
Approximately four hours later, Mihael woke up to find Misa bouncing on his feet, crying. "Misa! What's wrong? If Light hurt you…" growled Mello.
"No! It's not that at all," Misa responded quickly, "…He proposed, Mels." She had a surprising seriousness apparent on her face.
"W-what?" Mello felt as if he was about to fall off the couch had it not been for Misa's iron grip pinning him in place.
"Yeah – Lightykins said that you should go along to the bachelor party too; it's in three weeks, on the Saturday!"
"Sure; I'll take the day off work, I guess…"
"Thanks Melly-pops!" screeched Misa in her supposedly 'cute' voice. To Mello it just sounded like Misa; he'd known her too long.
And so Mihael Keehl slept on, still on the sofa, like the lazy-bones he was.
His dreams drifted to his meeting with a fortune-teller two weeks prior. She was a rather stout woman with long, ebony hair, partially obscured by a sapphire head-scarf. She looked into her 'crystal ball' (which looked like an upside-down fishbowl on top of a wooden block) and said, "Your romance will bloom with the next bonding event, bringing forth many unknown secrets. I wish you well."
Mello was completely nonplussed with the situation, and pondered it for approximately a week before passing off the woman as a deluded old bat with a fishbowl fetish.
He may have been second smartest in his orphanage, but he just couldn't figure this puzzle out.
