I was sat in the library for my daily scrutinizing- Oh! I'm sorry; "Study Time". At least that's what Erik called. What usually happened was that I would stare at the same page of a book for an hour and a half while Erik stared at me like I had betrayed him. Today was no different. For today I choose Lolita to look at. I choose the pages where he realized he loved Lolita even as an adult

I loved the book as a child and choose it to comfort me. I hated Erik the saddest part is that I keep having visions of us together from the past. Were not tense and angry at each other like we are now; were more in love than we ever were before. Every time I got one it reminded of just two weeks ago when we were happy. But in a weird way I was happy we weren't getting along. I could finally get rid of my Stockholm's Syndrome and try to figure out another way to get out of this Victorian hell.

"How are you today Innocent?"

I looked up from my book and smiled sourly at him. I looked back down without uttering a syllable. I was only talking to him if I absolutely had to.

"Innocent."

Silence. I turned the page and continued to read.

"Innocent."

You could hear he was getting angrier. My determination to ignore him beat out all the fear he could put in me.

"Innocent!"

Well maybe not all of it.

"Yes sir?"

I looked into his eyes and saw them flaming with a look that could kill the entire US Army. Those ever changing eyes. He was probably the only person in my life to ever truly scare me.

"How was your day Innocent?"

"What day Erik? I sit in the house all day with you watching me like a hawk. I don't know how you expect me to have an interesting day when all I do is sit here."

"I'm sorry it was boring, maybe it'll pick up tomorrow."

"You can't keep me here forever."

"It's already been a year and a half, you think your three friends still remember you?"

"You can't keep me here just because no one loves you."

That was it. Erik sprung from his seat and shed his composure as he jumped towards me and grabbed my neck.

"Yes, Innocent I can. I can do anything I want with you because you are mine. The law says so or have you forgotten our marriage already?"

"The law says I'm your wife not your property."

"But you do love me?" he screamed, gripping my neck a little tighter.

I may have, but the 16th century is long gone. Let. Me. Go. I hate you know and you know it, let me be."

For a moment his hands tighten around my neck before they went slack and slid down my torso along with his body. He was in a heap at the bottom of my feet, grabbing the hem of my dress and staining it with his tears. We sat there for a few moments with him crying with me silently looking on at his silent downfall.

"If you're not even going to pretend to love me anymore you should probably go. I'll…I'll miss you. I'm sorry I've been so unpleasant these past few months. Maybe even lifetimes. If you can be ready in thirty minutes I'll drive you back home. You still have your apartment and everything. I kept them in case of circumstances like this."

With that, Erik stood at his full height strong (well, at least pretending) and curt. He moved away from me and left the door open for me to go and pack my bags.

When I somehow found myself in my room again. I couldn't will myself to pack but I was more than willing to get this heavy dress off. When I was left in just my chemise I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself. In the past year and a half I had truly become a Victorian lady. Whether that was willingly or not, I'll never know. My hair that barely touched my shoulders when I came here not reached the top of my butt. My posture was perfect and I moved with a grace that was to perfect and poised to be from this century. I couldn't be in the Victorian world anymore and I knew I would never fit back in the modern one.

Suddenly I was running down the stairs towards the kitchen. I was surprised Erik didn't hear me but I concluded he was still in the daze of me leaving. I rooted through the drawers until I found one of the largest kitchen knives we had. I ran back up the stairs with a death grip around its handle. This is much worse than running with scissors.

I stopped in front of my door before I locked it and called out.

"Erik?"

"Yes, Innocent?" a distant but eager voice called out.

"Goodbye."

"Innocent what are you talking about?"

I slammed the door and locked it shut. Before I could do the same with the bathroom door I already heard pounding on my door with Erik's screams on the other side.

"I'm sorry Erik, I can't do it anymore."

I locked the bathroom door and slowly lifted up my chemise to reveal the smooth skin of my stomach. I gripped the knife handle tighter and held it to the left side of my stomach pressing softly. This is going to hurt you know?

I know.

For a moment I felt bad about leaving Erik alone but a warm thought passed into my head.

The world was going to be around for a lot longer. Who knows how many more lifetimes we'll be together. Maybe this one just wasn't meant to be.

With that final thought I plunged the knife into my side.

What was left of my happiness spilled out with the puddle of blood spilling out on the floor. My right hand was still firmly clutched around the knife I'd stabbed myself with. My left hand felt the bleeding wound pressing more blood out of it to speed up the process. I could feel snot mix with my tears and run down my face; choking my mouth with its salty and thick mixture.

I began to hear pounding on the bathroom door; I looked up to the ceiling praying to a God I never talked to that Erik wouldn't get in. He's going to be so mad when he finds me dead. I fought through the pain in my side and lay down on the floor resting my head in the sticky pool of blood. I closed my eyes and waited.

"Innocent?" Erik screamed through the door.

No, not Innocent. Christine.