AN: This is M for a reason. There are heavy themes of abuse, rape and adultery. Along with mentions of drug use, alcohol abuse, and well... it is generally littered with many sensitive subjects. If any of these things are sensitive issues for you, or you're under 18, then please, walk away now. This is very much written on the fly. I've barely even read through it. This is my story. Literally. I'm calling this therapy. So... yeah. If the grammar sucks, or the format is weird, I don't care. Soz.

Disclaimer: Am not Stephenie Meyer. again, soz.


Love. It's such a small, innocent looking word, isn't it? Four randomly put together letters, that simply do not give justice to the sheer power that, that word holds. There is not a single human alive that is not, in some way, affected by that word, or the emotion behind it. For some, it's a beautiful emotion. One of the most important feelings that the human mind can experience. It is the feeling they give to the affection they hold for their friends, the blood ties they feel to their family, and what they ultimately hope to achieve in their significant other. For others, it is a cruel reminder of what they have lost. Of the depths of cruelty that humanity can crawl to. Of just how foolish a person can feel after opening their heart to the wrong person, one that takes their heart and plunges into a fiery abyss of pain and desolation. Yes, love can be beautiful and life fulfilling. But, it can also be utterly soul destroying. No, those four little letters simply do not convey the sheer intensity of such an emotion.


Taking on a new job. It's one of those 'mixed emotions' situations in life, isn't it? For some people, it's the start of a new journey in life, new challenges and goals. People to be met, and new experiences to be had. Generally quite exciting. For others, it can just be a means to an end. Maybe it's not the job they really wanted, but they're taking because of finances or pressure from external influences. Or maybe they're lazy little shits that didn't want to work in the first place. Or at least, that's what the government and the Daily Mail would have you believe, at least.

For Bella, it meant only one thing. Freedom. Okay, maybe two things. Freedom, and control. Two things that she was sorely in need of. It wasn't the most glamorous job in the world. It wasn't even particularly well paid, being as it was merely just over minimum wage. But, she didn't care. She didn't even care that her contract was only 16 hours a week, a rather pitiful fall from her hopes of full time. This job was a reprieve. A desperately needed break from the sheer hell that had, somehow, become her life.

She had met James Hunter two years ago. He had, for all intents and purposes, saved her life. Of course, she didn't then fall into his arms, and profess undying love or anything like that. But, if pressed, she would admit that did have a lot to do with why their relationship started. (If pressed even further, she would tell you that it also had a lot to do with why she was still with him. After... well, everything.) One fateful Halloween, she and a few friends decided to spend the night in their Local and have a good, old fashioned piss up. What should have been a fun night, resulting in stumbling home with her heels dangling from her fingers, actually ended up in her being carted home in a taxi much earlier (and much more sober) than expected. Counting her lucky stars that it was, in fact, a taxi and not an ambulance. To put it bluntly, had James not been at the right place at the right time, the gang of men that had her unconscious and cornered, would have successfully raped her, and left her to die. She supposed.

She rarely thought too much about that night. Thankful that she couldn't remember too much of it. The blow to the head she had suffered had put her right out, and she suffered a little amnesia due to it. What she did remember, however, was how she woke up to very worried blue eyes peering down at her, and a strong hug when she choked out a sob. They had become casual friends after that, bantering back and forth, when she came to the bar. It wasn't until he pressed his lips to hers at midnight on New Years Eve, that the relationship evolved.

It sounds like a lovely little meet-cute, and all their friends always 'aww'ed and 'ahh'ed at the little tale. Telling the couple that they were adorable together and it would be a lovely tale to tell the grandchildren. Bella would merely grimace a smile, dutifully put herself into his arms, and act like the doting girlfriend she knew they wanted her to be.

The thing was, she simply didn't know how to tell this guy that she didn't want a relationship with him. It's not a hard word to say, the word 'No'. But Bella found it neigh on impossible to say it to him. She found it hard when his lips pressed to hers on New Years Eve. She tried, but failed, hours later that night when he pushed inside her, in one of the B&B rooms upstairs. And two years later, she was still finding it difficult to not let him invade and walk over every aspect of her life.

It was upon his 31st Birthday when she received a call from her Working Links advisor to tell her that a work experience program was starting up with Sainsburys, that could end up in a job, and would she be interested in taking the course. There was no hesitation whatsoever when she replied that yes, yes she was definitely interested in the course. When the call ended, details finalized, she looked over at her fiancé and decided there and then, she was going to do everything she possibly could to get that job. The idea of her own wage, one that he couldn't access and drink away, her own wage that could lead to freedom... it was one that she simply couldn't shake.

It was that idea that she kept in her mind when the inevitably drunken fists landed into her already battered ribs, and the slew of filth poured into her ear as he rammed himself into her, over and over until passing out into a sated slumber.


AN2: Uh yeah, btw, this is set in England... some explanations:

Working Links: A company that works with the Jobcenter (Government Welfare people, generally degrade you because you're unemployed) to help people into work.
Sainburys: Supermarket. More upperclass than Tesco, not quite as snooty as M&S and Waitrose.
Daily Mail: Tripe. Newspaper. Licks the arse of the Conservatives.