Normally, I try for as much accuracy as possible. Christmas doesn't mean a damn thing to Japanese, they don't even get out of school for the day itself, much less the two weeks we get. But I needed to write, and it's okay for these cute little mini-chapters to be completely stupid and badly written, and I think I might be able to break the block with it. And, since I couldn't decide which Sue to use, I decided to write one for all three, in the order of their birth. Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Yuletide, Yule, Kwanzaa, Solstice, Ramadan, and to all you aetheists out there--Have a nice day.
-R.F.
Kali
"Why are we here again?" Hiei snaps.
"Because it'll be good to have some fun." you snap back. "You will shut up and just deal with it."
"Promise me sex and I'll stay through at least half of it."
"Fine, fine, just shut up and be good! Ahhh! Hey, Kurama!"
"Hiei! Kali! Dude, I can't believe either of you showed up!" Yuusuke says happily. "We're having our Christmas party here, by the way, 'cos Mom didn't give a shit enough to say no."
"That's cheerful," you respond happily, plopping onto the floor next to the window. Hiei takes his place in front of the window, and Kurama and Kuwabara are both in the kitchen, uncovering food platters.
"Nice tree. I think I could make it catch fire from over here," Hiei growls darkly. You slap him in the chest.
"Don't be a bastard," you growl. "What's first, food or presents?"
"I vote presents," says Kuwabara.
"I'm hungry," Yuusuke reports.
"Presents!" you shout. Hiei grunts in agreement.
"I'm hungry as well, and as I don't think that food belongs on newly opened presents, I think we should eat first," Kurama states.
"Damn you and your logic!" you cry, pointing at Kurama dramatically.
"Also, my mother made the pie and a casserole that is excellent, but must be served hot."
You rise to your feet and make up two plates, one for Hiei and one for herself, and she gets a little of everything. The casserole's awesome, agreed, but Kali fails to see how it could be bad cold. And then a couple of salad-things and a plate of whatever it was that Shizuru made.
"Didn't you bring anything, Kali?" Kurama asks you, quirking an eyebrow. "I thought your mother was going to send something...?"
"Yeah, Mom sent it a day ahead, since she couldn't keep Ender out of it. It should be in the fridge."
"Yeah, I couldn't keep Mom out of it, either, so there's only half of it left," Yuusuke says with a smile, turning and pulling it out and the foil off the top.
"Wow, that smells good," Kuwabara says as Yuusuke pulls it out of the fridge and opens the tupperware.
"Thank you," you say cheerfully. "Also, is there any eggnog?"
Yuusuke is pouring up five glasses of it as you speak, so you rise and give Hiei one and take one for yourself.
"Yay!" you giggle as you down some. Hiei sniffs at it, then sips at it.
"How do you spike eggnog?" Kurama asks, quirking an eyebrow at Yuusuke.
"Um. Twice the brandy and white vodka you're supposed to have," he explains, smiling.
"Ah, I see."
"Good, I can get sorta hammered!" you say happily.
"Hey!" shouts Kuwabara. "Atsuko gave us all Christmas presents!"
And with that, he pulls out his sword and puts a Santa hat on the end and sends it out to Kurama, who takes it and smiles weakly, before sighing, shrugging, and jamming it onto his head. Then one is given to Yuusuke, then one to you, which you do not hesitate to put on over your hair, too, and then a second comes in your direction, but Hiei bats it away with the back of his hand. You take the hat from the end of the sword and put it onto Hiei's head, flattening his hair.
"What the fuck! Get off me!" Hiei shrieks, twisting and trying to rip the thing off his head. You keep it on, and you kiss him. He stops fighting, suddenly, until he gets his wits back and pushes you hard away from him and snatches the hat off his head. You giggle maniacally and take another swig of the eggnog.
"Nice, Kali!" Yuusuke says.
"We even have a picture," Kurama mouths to you, indicating a camera. You smile at him and lunge at the tree. Or, more specifically, the presents under it. The first one is for Kurama, so she throws it in his general direction. Kuwabara. Yuusuke. Kurama again, but he'd have to wait. Hiei. Hiei has a present under here? Aaaannnnd... yours!
"Cool!" Yuusuke says, who didn't wait for everyone. Hiei stares at the brightly-wrapped box in his lap as if confused. You kiss his cheek again and open yours.
"Cute scarf. Now I have something to garrote Hiei with during sex games," you joke loudly. Hiei gives you a deathglare from the bowels of hell. Kurama laughs, and Kuwabara and Yuusuke both look confused.
"What's garrote?" Yuusuke asks.
"She was making a joke, and you don't need to know," Kurama explains peaceably. "What did you get, Yusuuke? Who from?"
Yuusuke holds up a small toy doll. Your gift. (You stuck to gag gifts.) "It's from Kali," he explains. "Why did you get me a doll?"
"Gag gift. Wait 'til you see what I got Kurama," you giggle. Hiei opens his and picks up the little knife.
"What the hell is this for, Fox?"
"Well, Hiei, I thought that, considering your speed, and the fact that you frequently break your swords, that I would get you something that might interest honing a different skill," Kuirama states, smiling blandly. "Kali, if you would?"
You dig around under the tree, toss out some more gifts, then look at the one you got. A larger box, this time, and Yuusuke's is a Hula Hoop that isn't even wrapped.
"What the hell do I need this for?"
"Target practice," Kurama says. "Oh, thank you, Kuwabara," he adds, looking at the small box of dirt.
"That's supposed to be magic dirt or something. Shizuru gave it to me to give to you," he explains. "She said that the same plot always gave her the prettiest flowers."
Kurama nods. "I can actually tell that, Kuwabara. Thank you very much, and tell Shizuru I said so, too."
Hiei is staring at his gift again. This one's a small doll, evidently, of you.
"Yuusuke, did you make that?" Kurama asks, moving over to take a better look.
"Keiko did. I asked her to, though."
You open yours, too, then, and find a Hiei one. It's not very well made--you can tell that Keiko made it, but it's very cute with a little scowl on its face and hair sticking everywhere.
"So cute!" you giggle, squishing it close to your breasts. Hiei hns and hands you the Kali doll, too.
"What about--oooh, Kuwabara, that's an awesome one!"
"I'm sorry, Kuwabara, but I wasn't sure what to get you. I thought that a binder would be best," Kurama says apologetically.
"It really is. High school's gonna be a bitch without it," Kuwabara says half-heartedly.
After all the other gifts, (including Kurama's dildo from you, and a pack of condoms for Hiei, though that's less gag-gift and more promise for later), are opened, you make your way home, leading Hiei by the scarf that you wrapped around his neck. He'd put up more of a fight, but he seems quite satisfied with the idea of plowing or being plowed into the bed.
"How was it, Hiei?" you ask him as you close the door and unzip your coat.
"What?"
"Your first Christmas. How was it?"
"Not bad. Wish you'd been more subtle about the condoms."
"Nah, nah," you say, leaning forward and kissing him on the lips, before pushing him back onto the bed and straddling him. He rolls on top of you and kisses you.
Awesome Christmas.
