Link's Phone Conversation with Ganon
By: Rupee
Disclaimer: It's little Shiggy's peeps, and loaded corporates back at Nintendo
Link was lying in bed when he heard his old Kokiri Phone ring, he stretched over a bit, lifted the phone up and hung up on the caller. He went back to bed cursing the fool calling in the middle of the night. Again the phone rang and Link was fed up with the caller. He picked up the phone and put it to his ear, still lying on his bed.
Link: WHAT DO YOU WANT, WHO ARE YOU, IM TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP.
Ganon: (Trying to make himself sound like somebody else) Yo, Homey G Dawg, from the Hyrulian southside, WASSSUUUUUUUUUUPP????
Link: …
Ganon: Hello?
Link: I thought Kokiri Forest was on the east side dumass.
Ganon: It's all good, It's all good.
Link: I recognize you voice from somewhere, who are you?
Ganon: I'm your tight homey, remember, it's me Mido.
Link peered out the window and could clearly see that Mido was sound asleep on his bed, Link quickly realized it was Ganon.
Link: So, Mido, whats up with you and those Gerudo chicks.
Ganon: What are you talking about?
Link: You know exactly what I'm talking about.
Ganon was becoming nervous, sweat was dropping down his forehead
Link: Why did you call me Ganon? What do you want?
Ganon: Ganon, what are you talking about, who's Ganon?
Link: You know that ugly bastard that kidnapped the princess many times so he could see if he could get some.
Ganon: Get some? What are you talking about, If I wanted to get some I'd just hop on over to the fortress….DOPE
Ganon smacked himself across the head
Link: AHHHH, so you are Ganon?
Ganon: No
Link: You just said that you were going to hop on over to the fortress?
Ganon: What? Not now! What are you talking about?
Link: O so then you're gonna kidnap the princess again?
Ganon: NO
Link: I thought you wanted to get some?
Ganon: I can get some when I want?
Link: Where, in the fortress?
Ganon: …NO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
Link: You know, you're actually a pretty descent guy, I don't know why you go over to the fortress and take advantage of all those Gerudo women.
Ganon: What, I don't, don't' assume things now.
Link: Assume things, you just told me that if you wanted to get some you would go to the fortress.
Ganon: NO
Link: O so you're telling me you have feelings for men now is that it?
Ganon: WHAT? FEELINGS FOR MEN?
Link: Well yup, that's what I can conclude since you havn't got any in awhile
Ganon: Why you worm ridden filth, I should have killed you years ago when I had the chance.
Link: What ever are you talking about "Mido", you never had any chance to finish me.
Ganon: ooooo I waz jez playin witchu brotha (Ganon begins to tremble on the other line) ummm, you know homey, we still tight yo.ummm, yeah, hehe, homey G dawg what, hehe, yo, cool brotha-
Link: You can shut up now "homey".
Ganon: O yes yes of course of course.
Link: So, where do you go to get some then if you have no feelings for men?
Ganon: We can stop talking about this now.
Link: (Baby Talk) AWW WE TWYING TO HIDE OWA SEXUALITY NOW????
Ganon: NO, NO, I go to Kakariko village to get some?
Link: Get some what? Magic potion?
Ganon: NO, WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?
Link: O yes we were talking about how you had feeliings toward men, why is that?
Ganon: I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS TOWARD MEN, I LIKE WOMEN!!!!!!!!! ( Ganon begins to become very angry)
Link: O so then you go to the fortress, then you must be Ganon.
Ganon: NO NO, MY names GA- MIDO…, I told you I go to Kakariko Village!!!
Link: Yeah buddy I go there too occasionally so what?
Ganon: WELL…
Link: WELL...
Ganon: Well, I get some there?
Link: Get what?
Ganon: WOMEN DAMMIT, WOMEN!!!!
Link: Last time I went to Kakariko village the only women I saw were the elderly ones, you telling me you have fantasies about elderly women?
Ganon: WHAT, NO I GET THE HOT ONES???
Link: EWWW, hot elderly women??? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU???
Ganon: NO NO, HOT YOUNG WOMEN!!!
Link: Are you saying you're a pedopheliac, did Ganon become a priest now????
Ganon: IM NOT GANON, AND..WHAT…PRIEST..IM NOT A PRIEST…I'm Mido.
Link: Suuuuure
Ganon: IM SICK OF DIS SHIT HOMEY G DAWG, IM OUTA HERE, OUR RELTIONSHIP IS OVA!!! ( "Mido" upruptly hangs up the phone)
Link looks at the phone then places back down.
"Relationship, whoever said I had a relationship with Ganon, much less that pest Mido." Link nods his head, giggles for a brief moment, then goes back to sleep. All of a sudden the phone rings again…
The End
To Be Continued
I hope you people liked it. I kind of wrote it fast, so it might not be that funny.
