Diclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy...so yeah...

Puff the Fishxx: So here's Dear Diary for ya. I went through and edited it. Hope it's better than when I first posted it.


"Denzel? Denzel? Come on, where are you?" he calls through the house. He sighs, and looks under Tifa's bed, trying to find Denzel or Marlene. They had guilted him into playing hide and go seek with them and so far they were winning.

Suddenly, he heard a little girl's giggle, and a little boy telling her to shush. Cloud chuckled, and actually managed a small, barely visible smile as he saw one of the small toes recoil back under the curtains below the window. Cloud slowly walked towards the door, before stopping at the mantel. He suddenly whips around, dashing to the curtain, and pulls it back. The two children squeal, and run out the door, leaving Cloud standing there, smiling that same small smile.

"Cloud!?" He suddenly heard his name being called.

"Yeah!" he responds.

"What did you do to those two?! You made them scream bloody murder!!" Tifa yells up the stairs, as a door bangs. The two children must have run outside.

"We were just playing hide and seek!" Cloud calls, as he listens to Tifa walk away from the bottom of the stairs and back to the counter.

Cloud sighs, and begins to walk out of the room, when something catches his eye. Pausing, he turns to look at the corner of a book sticking out from beneath the frilly, white pillow on Tifa's bed. His brow burrows, as he walks over and pulls it out. "Diary" was written in bold gold lettering on the front of the white leather bound book. He knew he should put it back, as he turned it over in his hands, but the temptation was just too great. There was no lock; it was open to him. All of Tifa's thoughts at the turn of a page. He had always wondered what went on in that mind of hers...

….

……

He'd leave it alone for now.

Or not.

He looks outside the door, looking first to the right then to the left. There was no one there. Tifa was downstairs, the children were outside, and customers weren't allowed up in the living area. Quietly shutting the door to Tifa's room, he sits down on the clean, white comforter that adorned Tifa's twin sized bed, and let's the book fall open on his lap to the first page. The first thing he noticed was a picture that was taped to the inside cover. It was a picture that Marlene had drawn of she and Tifa sitting in a patch of pink and yellow flowers. (The people were stick figures, but the resemblance was still there and it was obvious who it was.) The second thing he noticed was a letter written to Tifa on the cover page. It reads:

"Dear Tifa,

Happy birthday! I hope you have a better year than this last one. Use this diary as an outlet, instead of beating up Cloud when you guys train. Okay?

Yuffie"

"Yuffie?" Cloud mutters, cocking his head. Shrugging he turns the page, meeting the first entry. There was no date it just started as "Dear Diary" which, to Cloud, was odd. Didn't people usually add the date? He shook his head, and began to read:

"Dear diary,

He hasn't been acting very nice today. He's quiet and depressed (more so than normal). I can't get through to him today, it's like he's in another world. He's got Denzel depressed too. He shirked his duties, and went off driving for hours, and when he came back he was covered in dirt and dust. It didn't hit me until now though, that I realize it's the anniversary. The one where he's always like this for the entire week. It's the one of the few anniversaries he recognizes, other than Denzel's, Marlene's, and my birthdays. He doesn't even remember his own when it comes around. But he remembers this one.

I don't think he'll ever get over it, even after he claimed to have seen her forgive him, and heal him from his Geostigma. I think he's forgiven himself though, and I think he's forgiven a lot of things, but there's still some things he refuses to forgive, and I can't get deep enough into his mind to figure out what they are and how to help him with his problems. It frustrates me, and even worse it worries Marlene. I don't want her to be sad, and I'd like to tell him exactly what I thought, but I don't know what that would do.

Sometimes, I'm terrified of him. He never smiles, and he rarely seems happy. He's nice, yes, but that's not good enough for Denzel and Marlene. I don't want Denzel to be disappointed in his hero, like his hero was when he was Denzel's age. I want Denzel's role model to be better so he had better shape up!

I have to go now. He's coming. I don't want him to read this.

Tifa"

"Who's….He?" Cloud mutters to himself. "Wait a minute." He says, and rereads the entry.

"Is that…about…me?" he asks, jerking his head up, and looking at himself in the vanity mirror above Tifa's mahogany dresser. "I terrify her?" He says, looking at himself as though he were trying to see if his face had turned into something hideous.

"Cloud?" He hears his name called, and quickly shoves the diary back under the pillow. He'd read more later.

"Coming!" He calls, standing up. He quickly smoothes out her bed, not wanting her to know he was even in here and walks down the short flight of stairs.

"You have a delivery to make." Tifa says, as Cloud walks up to her. "Cloud?" she says, cocking her head.

Cloud was looking at her eyes. He hadn't heard a word she had said, he was too focused in trying to see if he could see fear in her eyes. He suddenly saw it appear, and stepped back. He had scared her again. Great.

"What?" he says quizzically, shaking his head.

"You have a delivery." She says quickly, handing him a small, crudely wrapped brown package.

He takes it gently from her hands. "Sorry." and he walks out the door quickly before she could say anything. He didn't want to hear her forgive him for some reason. Maybe he didn't want her to forgive him because then he'd hurt her all over again later.

Mounting his motor bike, he opens the side compartments, and takes out one of his swords. From the directions written on the side of the box he knew he'd need it out soon. He didn't like riding in the desert too often. It was a rough place, and was hard on his skin. Pulling down his goggles over his eyes, he turns the key in the slot, and lifts the kick stand before taking off toward his destination.

As he rode along the road his mind lingered on Tifa's diary. It bothered him that she thought maybe he would let Denzel down, like Sepheroth had done to him. It also made him anxious that he frightened Tifa the way she said he did, and it bothered him that she didn't think he was a good role model. He suddenly bent his head slightly, and sighed. He didn't even think he was a good role model, why should Tifa think that?


Puff: Please review.