Disclaimer: Don't own franchise. Not making any money off this.

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Kurt Wagner, the Nightcrawler, resident teleporter, fuzzy elf and self proclaimed King of Pranksters sat all by his thoughtful, lonesome self on the roof of the Institute. It was a clear night, not a cloud in the sky. The star constellations hung above the earth in all their glory, their brilliance undiminished by cloud cover. The night was slightly warm and humid and a gentle, cool breeze was blowing from the bay. All in all, ideal weather conditions.

Storm had seen to that.

Kurt took a swig out of the soda bottle that he was holding as he contemplated on his life over the past few months and the implications on his future. He was drinking more as an absent gesture, something to occupy his hand and wet his throat, than for the taste. In fact he barely noticed the taste. It was just a background sensation, like the breeze. A soothing accompaniment to his restless frame of mind. Something that registered as pleasant in some corner of his brain and contributed to a more comfortable situation, but which wasn't brought to the attention of the conscious mind which was focusing on something else. The bottle had been running low for quite a while now. Kurt was taking occasional small and leisured sips, in order to prolong the time until he would have to put the bottle down or return to get a refill.

He didn't feel like rejoining his friends just yet.

His thoughts were far away tonight.

Amanda...

He loved that girl. Loved her with every fiber of his being. And he knew that she loved him as well. But…

He shook his head and sighed. His mind was filled with a restlessness and uncertainty that he hadn't experienced since he came into the X-Men.

It was late. The mansion was silent and dark, with the exception of the dim lights left on at the stairwells and at scattered locations in the corridors, all the teaching staff having retired to bed a while ago. Outside in the grounds, the sensors of the mansion's automated security system continued their silent vigil.

However some distance away, near the gazebo at the edge of the cliffs, a party was in full swing. It was the night of Scott and Jean's graduation day. Their classmates were all out all over Bayville, painting the town red. However, knowing that Scott and Jean were highly unlikely to receive any party invitations after being revealed as mutants, Kurt had quietly come up with plans of their own surprise party in Scott and Jeans honor, and enlisted Rogue, Kitty and Evan the help him with the details. Party animals Kitty and Evan were only too delighted with the prospects of a full on party. Rogue predictably was noticeably less enthusiastic, but she not only agreed to help with the details but, to the others' surprise, also to actually attend the party. She even went so far as to promise to at least make a conscious effort to actually enjoy herself.

Kurt supposed that all the effort he had put in getting her to loosen up was finally having an effect. He had practically forced her to come with him to Germany for the Christmas holidays, instead of staying in the mansion with all the other students gone. He had introduced her to his parents as his sister, and he could tell that she had been surprised and touched when his mother had given her a warm, though careful, hug and told her that Kurt had told them all about her and that they looked forward to getting to know her. Away from the Institute's crowd, Rogue had noticeably relaxed and dispensed with her moody, sarcastic exterior. For the first time in as long as he had known her, Kurt saw her smile, even laugh out loud in pure mirth. It was a considerably more relaxed Rogue who returned with Kurt to the Institute at the end of the holidays, a proud possessor of a brand new photo album of her own, filled with snapshots of her with Kurt and several with his parents as well.

The party preparations hadn't been much hassle. The only problem was keeping it a secret from Jean. She did not usually make it a habit to go around snooping into people's minds, however when a person was overexcited, when they thought too 'loudly', she couldn't help overhearing them. That meant that they had to keep a lid on their emotions while they made the arrangements. They had originally intended a small get-together for just the five of them, but with the recent anti-mutant sentiments, nowhere in Bayville was safe for a celebration. The mutants could all handle trouble but Kurt did not want this party to play out under the shadow of apprehensiveness. So it was decided to hold the party within the Institute. And since they were at the Institute, there was no reason not to include the New Mutants as well. This would be the last time they would see Scott and Jean as fellow students. From here on now, they would be part of the senior staff. Besides the anti-mutant sentiments in the outside world were affecting them as well and they could all use some cheering up.

Professor Xavier was not a fan of late night parties, particularly ones that were held at the Institute. However, just this once, he relented and granted permission. The growing anti-mutant protests and open hostility were wearing down on all of them. There was little inclination to celebrate these days and precious few occasions to do so. The party would do them some good. Reintroduce some measure of normalcy, however fleeting, into their turbulent lives. Kurt overheard the professor remark to Storm later that it would be a pity to deprive them of this excellent opportunity to make a great deal of mess and noise.

The arrangements were mostly handled by Kurt. The New Mutants were informed about the party in the morning, when Scott and Jean were at school for their graduation ceremony, safely out of earshot. The next day was Saturday, and even Logan had been so generous as to cancel the Friday night and Saturday morning Danger Room sessions of the respective student batches so that the partygoers could sleep late. The muted sounds of music and laughter were audible where Kurt was sitting. It was only by his above-than-normal hearing that Kurt could make out the sounds though. A person with normal hearing wouldn't hear a thing.

Kurt thoughtfully took another sip of his soda. He had gone a lot of trouble to ensure that the part would go off like clockwork, and now, ironically, he was the only one sitting it out.

"Hey, what's up Pointy Ears?" came a familiar voice from behind him. Kurt glanced back to see a floating Jean Grey. Her cheeks were flushed from laughing and her eyes were shining with merriment. The wind blew her long red hair into her face. He smiled slightly. It was not the first time that the sight of her floating down so gracefully, with her arms outstretched at her sides, had made Kurt think of an angel descending upon the earth. Kurt hadn't seen her this happy in a long time. She and Scott had been increasingly bogged down with the pressure of their finals, along with dealing with continued persecution at school by the other students, some of whom had been their friends, in addition to their increasing responsibilities at the mansion. Just the look on their faces tonight, when the others had sprung the party on them, had made all the effort worthwhile. Evan had captured it all on tape.

"Vhat's up?" Kurt repeated in a mock thoughtful voice. "Vell, zhe sky for starters, zhe stars, you are too. Vell even I am" he added peering down over the edge of the roof. "Zhe roof of the Institute vould certainly qualify as 'up' vouldn't it?"

Jean chuckled as she floated over to him and sat down next to him. "Well, if you're so up what's got you so down?" Kurt smiled. Jean was known for her eloquence and wit, though she usually maintained a serious demeanor. But she seemed to be running a little strong tonight.

"My, my, aren't we bubbly tonight?" he teased. He hadn't seen her like this since the whole Bayville Sirens business.

"Hey, it's my night to howl." Jean replied with a toss of her head. "And I understand that I have you to thank for that." she added with a smile.

"No problem."

"So why isn't the Master of Ceremonies down there presiding over the ceremonies?"

When Kurt didn't respond Jean turned and punched his shoulder lightly. "Come on what's with the long blue face? Don't tell me you and Amanda had a fight or something."

Kurt flinched slightly. Jean sensed that she had struck a nerve and tentatively placed her hand on his shoulder. "Kurt, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… is everything all right between you two?" she asked hesitatingly, uncharacteristically stumbling on her words, while she mentally chided herself for her loose tongue. Usually she was more perceptive than this, but tonight, wrapped in her own delight, she had been less sensitive to Kurt's frame of mind.

Kurt heard the worry in her voice and softened. It was good to know that someone cared.

"It's all right, Jean. Nothing to be vorried about." he reassured her. "Und to answer, your question, Amanda and I haven't been fighting. She's not zhe problem…" his voice trailed off.

"Hmm. You wanna talk about it?"

Kurt stared out over the ocean. He did want to talk about it with someone. Badly. It wasn't that he did not trust his Katzchen with this issue. But he was unsure what advice she could give him. What he really needed right now was someone like an older sibling. Someone who cared about him, who understood his dilemma, and who had been through something like this before him and could give him advice from their own experience. Someone solid and dependable, who could calm him down and whose advice he could trust.

And of all his fellow students at the Institute, Scott and Jean fit the bill better than anyone else.

When he had first arrived at the Institute he had been plagued by recurrent nightmares of the time when the villagers had found about him and nearly burned him at the stake. He had used his teleportation ability for the first time that day and that was all that had saved his life. At the Institute, alone in a different country, among people who were as different from what he had known, as he was to them, it had been hard to adapt. He had depended heavily on Scott and Jean during those initial weeks. Scott, to cope with the new lifestyle, inside as well as outside the mansion and Jean to deal with his uncertainty and insecurity, not to mention his nightmares. He had confessed having nightmares when she had woken him up from a particularly bad one, during his early days at the institute. She had sat with him through the night comforting him as he told her about his ordeal in a shaking voice. It had cost him every ounce of his willpower to keep talking but he felt better once he had finished, like something poisonous had been extracted out of him. She had invited him to come to her whenever he had any problems. He had gone to her several times after he had woken up in the middle of the night from some bad nightmares and she sat with him, with her arm around him, stroking his fur in a soothing gesture, working toward calming him down as they talked about his nightmare, or whatever else that was bothering him, or just things in general, depending on his mood, until he felt better. She had assumed the role of a surrogate elder sister in his life, one who he could turn to for advice, pep talks and reassurances. Eventually the nightmares stopped as he gained confidence and found a place for himself within the X-Men. But he continued to look up to her and Scott.

"Amanda and I…" he trailed off, squeezed his eyes shut, and decided to go for broke. "She is funny, und beautiful, und kind, und vonderful. She is everything zhat I dreamed of. But I just can't shake off zhe feeling zhat something is going to go wrong… zhat zis will end badly." There, it was finally out.

"And just why would you think that?" Jean asked mildly.

"Because she is funny, und beautiful, und kind, und vonderful." Kurt said in an increasingly agitated voice. "Und I hav learnt zhe hard vay zhat if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Story of my life. I've already managed to make a bad impression on her parents, thanks to zhat fucker, Toad. And while she says she is not going to give up on me regardless of vhat her parents say …"

Jean shook her head in pity. The boy had some serious low self-esteem issues. Anyone would really, if they had to grow up hiding from the world. Kurt's parents had, in an effort to keep him safe, drummed into him that he must never allow himself to be seen except by the small handful of people who knew of his existence. But an unforeseen side effect of that was that Kurt had formed an assumption that there was something wrong with him and that his appearance was something to be ashamed of, despite his parents' efforts to convince him otherwise.

When he had first arrived at the Institute, the Professor had taken her and Scott aside and explained to them that Kurt had had a difficult past, and a recent traumatic experience had left him badly shaken. He didn't elaborate what that experience had been. He did say that Kurt might find it easier to talk to her and Scott since they were closer to his own age. She found herself comforting him regularly after the first time that she had woken him from a bad nightmare. What she never told him was that she had seen his nightmares, wanting him to tell her if and when he wanted to. But what she had seen horrified her, and she had spent a few sleepless nights over it herself. As yet unexposed to humanity at its worst, she had found it difficult to believe that any civilized society in this day and age could condone something like this. She had come to think of him as a little brother that she had always wanted as a child. He warmed her heart and made her laugh, and acted as a perfect counter balance to Scott's serious demeanor and she had enjoyed having someone who looked up to her.

Kurt's rant reached a fevered pitch. Jean made no move to protest or cut him off with reassurances. Everything that Kurt had been forcing down for months was finally bursting free. It was best to let it all out. He would feel better once he was done. Then the therapy could begin. At this moment he did not require a counselor. He simply needed someone to listen.

So she listened. After a while his rant began losing steam, and finally tapered off and stopped. She put an arm around him and gently pulled him closer to lean on her. The tension rapidly drained out of his muscles as he slumped against her as if no longer able to support his own weight. She ran her fingers lightly through his hair in a way that she could sense he found soothing, a simple gesture that conveyed more than words ever could. She could feel his breathing and heartbeat slowing down and returning to normal.

"All right. Did you consider that maybe she likes you because you are funny, and handsome, and kind, and wonderful?"

Kurt sighed and gestured toward his own face. "Is zis your idea of good looking?"

"Of course. I think you're cute." Jean said impishly. "Trust me Kurt, that chick digs the fuzzy dude. It doesn't take a telepath to see that. She's the real thing. I'd snap her up if I were you. You won't find another like her."

"Mein Gott, Jean, do you have any idea how much harassment she's facing because of me?" Kurt said wearily. "She parks her car a couple of blocks from ze school because it got vandalized twice. First time someone scratched 'mutie lover' over zhe windshield. Second time zey slashed zhe tyres. Both times Scott and I fixed it here in zhe garage. Her books were stolen from her locker. Not to mention what everyone is saying to her face and behind her back."

"No Kurt." Jean said firmly. "It is not because of you. It is someone else's fault, not yours. Never blame yourself for what those jerks do."

"Fact remains zhat she's suffering for no fault of hers." Kurt said heavily. "And what is she getting in return?"

"You." Jean said simply. "She's getting you in return, and to her that more than makes up for what the world has to throw at her."

Kurt shook her head. "I am not worth zat much."

"Kurt, how can you say that?" Jean chided him. "Do you have any idea how much you mean to us?"

"Even after I left you in zhe lurch?" he muttered lowering his head.

"Huh? What're you talking aba..." Jean began, when she suddenly remembered the incident, when Duncan and his two cronies had pushed Scott around after they had been exposed as mutants, and Kurt had been reluctant to step in. "Oh that." she said dismissively. "That was a long time ago. Don't tell me you're still beating yourself up over it." His refusal to meet her eyes confirmed that.

"Kurt…" she began. When he still didn't look at her, she put her fingers under his chin and tilted his face up, forcing him to meet her gaze. "Kurt, that's done with. Forget it."

He gaped at her. "How can you not be mad at me after something like zat?"

"We don't hold grudges against our own friends Kurt, Professor Xavier taught us better than that." Jean said gently. "You were afraid. We can understand. And after what you have been through, it's quite understandable that public scrutiny is much more unnerving for you than it is for us. I know the effect of terror better than most. That particular incident just got you in the chink in your armor. We all have them. We all have our moments of weakness. It's a part of what makes us human." When Kurt still looked doubtful, she said, "Let me tell you a personal secret." Lowering her voice, she continued, "For a time, I actually thought Duncan was the one."

"Zhe one? Zhe one who what? Oh." Kurt froze wide eyed as the meaning of the phrase 'the one' became clear to him. The empty soda bottle slipped out of his slack, nerveless grasp and rolled towards the edge of the roof as he looked at Jean in disbelief. Jean stopped its motion and brought it soaring back into her hands with a flick of her fingers, giggling embarrassedly at the dumbfounded expression on Kurt's face.

"See? If a superior intellect such as mine can make such an obvious error where relationships are concerned, who can blame ordinary mortals such as yourself?" She said with faux haughtiness. Giving him a mock glare, she warned playfully, "Of course, if you ever breathe a word about this to anyone, I'll deny it. While you will find yourself getting nauseous at the sight of food for a week." In a softer and more serious voice , she added, "What are friends for, if not to forgive? It happens, Kurt. People do stupid things from time to time. And they learn from their mistakes."

"But zat is no excuse for abandoning your friends." Kurt said in a low voice, his head dropping again. Jean tilted it back up.

"Kurt, it's done with." She said gently. "We've all forgotten that incident. And we'll never remember it again. All that matters to us is that you came back."

Kurt felt lighter, like a load had been unstrapped from his back. He had been guilt ridden over that particular incident for a long time. He looked at Jean gratefully, unable to find words to thank her. But she understood.

"Come on." she said brightly. "Let's go flying."

"In zhe jet?"

"No" she laughed. "I have my own ride. It's a lot slower than the jet, but it gives a great view." She placed her hand on his shoulder. Kurt gave a yelp as a sudden weightlessness gripped him, and the Institute roof fell away sharply. Jean gripped is shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry Kurt, I won't let you fall." The warmth in her voice told Kurt that she meant it more than the literal sense, and he was grateful.

They rose high above the institute. Kurt drew in a breath. "You vere right. Zhe view is incredible." The lights of Bayville lay spread before them. Kurt had been at much higher altitudes in the jet. But the experience of flying unsupported this high was something else.

"Yep" Jean agreed. "Humbling isn't it?" She turned to look at him curiously. "Something's still bothering you. What is it?"

Kurt hesitated before speaking in a rush. "If I go deep into zis relationship, and if it doesn't vork out, zen what?"

Jean understood. "You're wondering if it's better not to have loved at all than to have loved and lost."

"I don't know." Kurt mumbled.

Jean was silent for a few seconds before speaking. "Let me tell you about this friend of mine. She writes really great stories. There's this one story that she's always wanted to write, more than anything else. She thinks about it all the time. Her masterpiece. But she's afraid that it'll be a flop. So she refuses to write her story until she's sure that it'll be well received."

Kurt frowned. "Zat's silly. How will she know if her story will be a success if she never gets around to writing it?"

"Exactly" Jean said smiling like a Cheshire cat and Kurt realized that she had tricked him into saying the very thing that she was trying to convince him of. "Write your story Kurt. It's the only way you'll know for sure. If it doesn't work out, you'll at least know that you tried. But you don't want to be looking back on your life fifty years from now and wondering how differently it would have gone if you had only been a little braver."

She watched as the meaning of her words sank in and realization dawned on his furry face. She left him to think about what she had said as they gazed over the lights of Bayville in companionable silence.

At length she tugged on his arm. "Come on, let's go back. Scott will be wondering where I've gone and the party won't be complete without you."

Kurt came out of his reverie. "Vait. I vant a picture." He gingerly pulled out his digicam from his pocket. Forge had modified it for greater picture definition and clarity, enhanced nightvision and a holographic display. He adjusted the settings and set the timer. Jean telekinetically held at a distance. Both of them put an arm around each other's shoulders and grinned as the camera clicked. It was a spectacular shot when they checked it on the camera's holographic display – the two of them floating unsupported against the backdrop of the institute, with the lights of the party in the distance.

"Zhe angel and zhe devil." Kurt proclaimed holding up the camera.

"Flatterer" Jean teased. "Come on, let's go."

Kurt put away his camera and, on an impulse, reached out to envelope her in a hug. "Zhank you big sister." He said, his voice slightly muffled in her shoulder "For everyzing."

Jean was both surprised and touched. Wrapping her arms around him she returned the hug, resting her cheek on the top of his head. "Anytime little brother." she said warmly. "Anytime."

They disengaged and Kurt teleported them over to the party. Not surprisingly, the location he had chosen was right next to the buffet table. Jean watched in amused disbelief as he grabbed a plate and loaded it with everything it could hold. She had always been envious of his ability to eat all he wanted without worrying about his weight.

"Jean." Someone called from behind her. She turned to see Scott making his way to her through the crowd. "Where did you go? I was looking for you."

Jean jerked a thumb over her shoulder. "Having a serious talk with the elf. He needed some relationship advice."

Scott looked over to where she was pointing. "Is everything all right between him and Amanda?"

"There are still a few things he needs to figure out" she said, and smiled as they watched him regale Kitty and Amara with one of his tall tales. "But I think he's better now."

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Reviews please. The more people review, positively or negatively, the more I will be encouraged to update faster.

Feel free to point out any flaws in my writing, however minute, along with suggestions for improvement.

I may have altered the timeline slightly to fit the story. Please bear with me on that one.