I don't own Naruto, blah blah. I would like to thank Charmed and all their producers and other rich people for coming up with the episodes on Pandora's box and "Sin Fransisco" in season 3? that held the plot that I borrowed in my prologue to make my sins infect my precious shinobi. I don't own anything.

If I did, then Shikamaru would realize Hinata was the only logical girl for him and Tenten would have won against Temari…and Temari would be sucked into a GIANT BLACK HOLE!

The day rolled along as every other sweltering summer day that the sun released upon the exhausted trainings ninjas of Konoha and Suna. Today the brutal heat brought even the most dedicated shinobi to silent prayers for a break.

Sweat glued hair and clothes to every glossy body in the forest full of training grounds.

Neji dreamed of his air conditioned, pillow-covered bed waiting in his huge, cool, house with servants to wait on him hand and foot. Even the caged bird knew how to relax.

The sand shinobi, Gaara, held his secret desire to be in his third of his siblings' mansion as Kazekage surrounded by every whim of his desire. He had the power to get whatever he wanted and he was craving to use it.

Tenten was filled with a twitching anger poked by all those around her. Lee and Neji with their bickering, Sakura with her positive energy on such a dull day, and everybody and their damn complaining when they had it all.

Shikamaru, no he didn't dream of cloud watching, he deeply desired to be worshiped and praised by all those around him. He had the ability to be lazy and still kick ass as good as or even better than his fellow academy graduates. He was the only chuunin, damnit.

The Hyuuga heiress, Hinata, had secret, dirty little desires all her own. She didn't want relaxation, or cold temperatures. She didn't want everybody swooning all over her. She didn't want innocence or silence. She wanted him, hott and sweaty as he was, with her.

Temari felt a hatred. She felt a burning loathing. Of who? Of everyone. She hated her stupid Kazekage brother. She was the oldest! She should have become Kazekage! She hated that stupid Naruto. He was always fooling around and he still managed to be so damn powerful! Temari wanted her turn! She wanted what they had but didn't deserve.

Lee, dear, wanted to go home. He wanted to plop himself on his couch and consume his body weight in cookie dough ice cream, then follow that with a dozen donuts, and if he couldn't he would punish himself not with 500 pushups, but 500 jellybeans. Then again, even if he could eat the ice cream and donuts, he probably still would eat the jellybeans.

Each with their own guilty pleasure. Each longing to be elsewhere. Each about to get their prayers answered.

"TSUNADE!!!!" Naruto screamed, barging into the Hokage's office. He found it empty. He peered around the room and wondered where that woman was! He imagined she was off gambling, avoiding paperwork, drinking, kicking someone's ass or an entertaining combination of the three. Anyway, she would be back, out of cash, boose, and bones to break.

The hyperactive ninja decided to sit and wait for her return—for all of a minute before he became duly bored and decided snooping through the Hokage's personal and private belongings would be a much more suitable way to pass the time until her return. He found books, pictures, diaries, but left them all alone. They were ordinary and sooo not interesting. He wanted something different, something entertaining.

Naruto paused when an engraved, rhinestone-studded box reflected light in his eye. It wasn't calling him, it was practically screaming, sending smoke signals, and paying him to look its way. Tiny glass-covered windows showed something shiny and colorful inside. Finally, Naruto had found something worthwhile. He lifted the box from the shelf and a note card fell from atop it.

"KEEP OUT! DO NOT OPEN!!" it read, but Naruto was both plagued and blessed with selective sight and saw only, "KEEP!! OPEN!!!" Naruto glanced at the card once more before chucking it over his shoulder and gazing at the "pretty designs" that adorned the box. On its lid sat the cute horseshoe letter at the end of the Greek alphabet (omega for those who don't know…it means the end and is usually associated with the apocalypse).

Naruto felt the building suspense as he unlatched the tight and difficult-to-move bindings on three sides of the lid. They couldn't have been opened in decades, they were so stiff. He reached (slow motion) for the hinged lid and slowly flipped it open. The lid clanked against the side of the box as it hung fully open…and nothing happened. Naruto expected something—anything. An explosion, things flying everywhere, a great secret...but no, he got nothing.

Naruto reached inside the now-boring box and retrieved seven colored and illuminated marble-sized balls. He gazed at them in his palm before they emitted a loud crack and flew out the window. There was Naruto's show.

Tsunade threw open her office door a half a second later and broke it clean off the hinges. She glared daggers at Naruto.

"GO FIND THEM!!" she bellowed, but Naruto gave her a confused and empty look. "Pandora's sorrows! PUT THEM BACK IN HER BOX!!" Tsunade continued screaming.

"You couldn't just wait for me to get back. No, you had to open it. Hurry! Before the infect people! GO!" Tsunade shoved Naruto out her door.

Tsunade was too late, though. Each sin had found a home. Lavender pride to Shikamaru, green envy to Temari, orange gluttony to Lee, pink lust to Hinata, red wrath to Tenten, yellow greed to Gaara and purple sloth to Neji. Somewhre in mythology, Pandora twitched.