Who am I, really?
A tale of a 16 year old looking for the truth about her now unknown life. Will she find it?
My name is Bella Swan, and I can't take it anymore.
I hate going home more than anything. I ride the bus in silence, not looking in any particular direction. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. "Thump. Thump. Thump."
Calming my nerves I listen so sweetly to the symphony of the beats. "Bella!" I hear from behind me in the back of the bus it sounds. I quickly turn around to see no other than Jessica. We used to be
best friends. She knew everything about me and told everyone all my secrets, ever since we've been like enemies. "Yes?" I squeak out. "What are you wearing- a trash bag?
And oh my goodness look at your hair!" I feel so many eyes on me after she says that. I hear everyone laughing at her little joke so I turn slowly away so my back is on the seat again and I try and continue to listen to the beats of my heart again.
Surely this day couldn't get worse.
Boy was I wrong.
Walking up the stair to our apartment, I can already hear my mother yelling. Yelling should be her occupation; it's all she ever does. My parents are hard drinkers, but I never see my dad. He's always out on 'business.', which I believe to be out with another woman.
"You little brat!" Mother screams, ice lacing every word. "Where have you been?" Where does she think I've been it's a Monday. "School." I reply short, thinking it would help my case not to argue. Whipping her body around quick, she smacks me hard.
"Don't use that tone with me child." I back up, avoiding other blows. "Mom, stop! I'm sorry! I really was at school!" She sits and looks at me while lighting her cigarette, "You better have been." Drinking another swig she goes to the couch and when I finally hear he dose off into slumber I run.
This time I'm not coming back.
I try to be as quiet as I can, while I pack the important stuff. I take all the cash I've been saving and it turns out to be $302.
For now, it will have to be enough. I pack two sets of clothes, a toothbrush, toothpaste, brush, and a small first aid kit; just in case. Meanwhile, I'm trying to concoct a plan to get out of the house silently. Taking the fire escape sounds the best.
I threw my bag down the long drop. Curiously, I check outside my door one last time to make sure my mother was asleep.
I made my way out the window, onto the ladder and slowly take it a step at a time. When I reach a gap in the ladder, I start to panic.
I let myself fall.
Walking down the street, I make my way out of the city. I look at all the lights from the houses and wonder what a real family is like, wondering if there sitting at the dinner table taking, or playing games. I thought this foster home was going to be so much better than the rest. I remember the first day I got to meet Phil and his wife They were so nice, and
so happy to finally have a daughter. I felt so welcomed. Mrs. Lewis or "mom" said to me "This house can be your safe place; you'll never have to feel alone."
She was a great actress.
The more I walked the less I could see the city lights, and the more I could see the stars. My legs were getting tired and sore, and I knew I needed a ride. I didn't see a car for miles but then I turn around and suddenly see a car, and instantly
I throw up my thumb. Whoever thought I would be a hitch hiker. They pull up slowly, and I expected the worst, when the window rolls down and a
sweet old lady is in the car. She was a plump little lady, with grey/white hair glasses falling down her nose. She reminded me of Paula Dean. "Do you need a ride, sugar?"
When I heard her southern accent, a smile crept upon my face. "Where are you headed?" I look at my shoes and contemplate keep on walking, but then I hear my stomach growl and decided to take a chance and go along with her. "I'm heading to a place called Carson City." She unlocks the door and says "Hop in, honey."
I didn't know if this was right or wrong, but it sure felt right.
"Sweet home Alabama. I'm coming home to you." The Paula look alike was singing right along to the song, I just listened and watched outside; thinking. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about my real family, and what real unconditional love feels like. I picture my mom's face, or the face I think she has, sitting with my good ol' dad. Tears spring to my eyes and I couldn't help but want to know why I couldn't have that.
"My names Annabell, honey. Can you tell me yours?" I think she can sense my discomfort and doesn't push a lot. I say "Bella." It was barely a whisper.
"What a fitting name." She was sweet, and I didn't mean to be so quiet. "Thank you, miss." I say, I just can't wait to get away from this place. She just smiles sweetly, and we pull off onto the highway.
Maybe this won't be so bad.
She dropped me off in Forks, Washington, at a diner. The town's leaves were falling off the trees and everything looks like a movie.
Every house was perfectly in the right place and all the trees in the perfect spots. I walk into the diner when I hear my stomach growl more than once, and I need to eat. I take a seat in the back of the vacant room.
A young kid from the back pops his head out of the kitchen area, and he smiles. "Hey, I'll be right out." He looked to be about my age and 6'4. Brown hair, brown eyes. I shuffle in my seat, worried about what I look like. He walks up to me and sits in front of me.
"Hi, what can I get ya, young lady?" He chuckles after he says it. I giggle. Yes, giggle. I can't believe it either. "Um, water I guess." I look over the menu in front of me, and I can't decide so I start to panic. "W-What's good?" He smiles,
"No need to be nervous. There's nobody here but us, and I can tell your running from something." His lips go in a straight line. Then looks up through his lashes and says "I'm Edward." He sticks his hand out for me to shake and then says, "So, where are we running too?" He cracks a smile, a quirky type of smile.
A smile you could easily fall in love with.
We sat and talked and ate and laughed. Things I haven't done in so long. I can't even remember the last time I ever did this. The first time I laughed that night, I stopped myself and was shocked by the sound. It was geeky, but he seemed to like it. He was trying to make me laugh so much, that THAT was funny.
He took me around the town, it was dark and it was only us in town. I've never seen stars, so this was amazing. What do I tell him, the truth? Do I even know the truth? "Um, I'll tell you why I'm, why I'm running, but you can't tell. No one."
He shakes his head and says "Of course." "I guess I should start from the beginning…"
I told him everything about my past, it felt so good to get off my chest, all the abuse I've endured. Yes I cried as I told this story, but this time I didn't shut down, I just kept talking and crying and letting every little feeling out.
" I'm coming with you!" I swear my eyes are popping out of my face. "W-what?" He doesn't know what he's saying.
"You can't come with me." He looks stunned, "and why is that?" Quirking an eyebrow at me he asked. "I have nothing left here, my parents died in a car crash just last year. I live on my own. I need to get away for a while."
Edward was quiet for a second and grabbed my hand and said
"I just never had a reason to go."
We take his truck, just the right amount of room for us both. His truck was a deep red. Edward called it Rocky. As we rode down the back roads, we notice something strange. The same Honda blue car has been following us for the past half hour.
I feel my heartbeat begin to pick up, and I think Edward can sense my fright and says, "Don't worry Bell' I got you." He winks my way, and floors it! It was instant. I couldn't even see straight, all I saw was the back of my eye lids. I grab the door handle,
and Edwardss arm and scream bloody murder. He lets out a holler and the car whips to turn around, we had to of been at least going 90mph. We travel swiftly and we lose the tiny little car.
"You alright doll?" He asks while he slows down, "I had to lose em' , we don't need any problems." I slow my breathing down counting to ten a couple of times and when I'm good I let out a yell saying "That. Was. AWESOME!" Taken aback he starts laughing at me,
"I haven't had a rush like that, I don't think ever. I felt, I felt so free!" He just smiles. "I'm glad you got to feel that." He whispers.
When I first left, I never thought I'd actually have any type of fun.
It's been a few nights, and we make it to the place where I was first put in as a foster kid. I was just a baby, but I always had pictures and letters from this family. I have so many questions, and I've waited so long to ask anyone.
Getting my hopes up would be a bad idea, but these people could be the only ones to know anything about my past, anything about my real parents.
We park across the street, I take a deep breath and-
"Maybe we shouldn't go."
"You've got to be kidding Bell, you're going. You need some type of closure." Closure is the last thing I want, I want hope.
"They will never remember me Edward, there is no way." I know I'm shaking with nerves, and I don't know
If this is a good idea anymore. Adam opens his door and walks around to my side and swings the door open and pulls me out.
"Well, too late now- you're going in!"
*knock* *knock* *knock*
I hear the hinges of the door move, and I stop breathing. "Hello, can I help you?" A woman asks at the door. She is small, and has short blonde hair. Just like all of her pictures that she sent. She hasn't changed a bit.
"Hi I doubt you remember me, but my name is Bella. I was your foster child when I was a baby." Wow, what she did next blew me away.
She pulled me into a tight hug. "Oh Bella dear, How are you?" Hmm.. "I'm fine, thank you. I won't intrude long, but I have some questions.
If that is alright with you, of course." I've never seen a smile so big. "Oh please come in, come in!" She rushes me and Edward in and leads us to the living room and gets us some tea. "So where would you like to start dear? I've been waiting for this day for a while."
That catches me off guard. "Well I want to know who my real parents are or were. Why was I put in the system?" She almost spits her tea in my face, "You mean to tell me, they never told you?" Now I'm getting scared. "Tell me what?"
"Oh boy, sweetie your parents were kidnapped."
To be continued!- MAYBE!
Should i continue everyone? if i do, i will deff. add more to the story, much much more detail and it wont be so fast. I was just typing up an idea and wanted to see what ya'll thought!
xoxo Julie
