Wow, this is new.
Really I should have been running by now like Sonic told me to, but I was too startled by what was happening to notice. Why? Because my best mate was actually being beaten for once.
The scene was disturbing, Sonic was lying in a heap on the ground, with an all-too-familiar evil genius doing that all-too-familiar (and utterly ridiculous) evil laugh, whilst simultaneously managing to be an all-too-familiar plonker.
That's Dr Eggman for you.
He was hovering above his latest contraption, The delta-series Sharktooth II. Frankly, I didn't see why we came out here in the first place: the bot looked hopeless, it was ridiculously slow, the hydraulics were creaky, and quite frankly I could've done better with the contents of Amy's garden shed. If this is how much we struggle with Eggman when his robots are this bad, heaven help us all if I take up world domination as my next hobby!
Unfortunately for sonic the metallic shark did have some redeeming features: an irritatingly powerful tailfin, and extraordinary armour. These were insignificant though, compared to its major advantage: its location.
Essentially an oversized swimming pool.
When me and Sonic had first arrived at Eggman's "top secret" (hehe, with Rouge around that didn't last long) base in, for once, Green Hill Zone, everything had gone to plan: from taking down the sentries to climbing into the ventilation system (Mission Impossible style), bypassing the crude laser detection systems with a little device invented by yours truly, and dropping down into this room. Eggman, as always, was waiting for us with his latest killer-bot-on-steroids, hovering above his invention in his egg-chair. I swore that Robotnik was going loopy, (correction: loopier) because the bot looked pathetic (sorry, have I mentionned that already?): it was roughly in the shape of a shark (using the word roughly very liberally here) and made of a strange white material which I hadn't seen before. Sonic did what Sonic always does: hurled a few insults (something like "Would you like your noggin scrambled or boiled Egghead?") before charging a spin dash with yet another ring from my fast dwindling bank account and launching himself at the robot...
...and stopping right at the edge of the water. Sonic's big weakness. I really do wonder at times: 15 year-old supersonic hedgehog... that can't swim. For Pete's sake I'm 8 years old and even I can swim! Man, hydrophobia must suck. Sonic then tried a different tact. He jumped high in the air and attempted a homing in the air he fell towards the rear of the robot, close to the dorsal fin (at least I think it was a dorsal fin, but it had too many spikes for me to be sure) but much to the hedgehog's surprise he didn't even leave a dent. He leapt up again from the surface of the bot and repeated the homing attack on the exact same spot, but to no avail. The shark looked up at Sonic, then to its airborne master, and back again with lazy eyes, and an expression that said "can't you just give up now, it'll make killing you easier". Sonic stopped his assault and looked in disbelief at the shell of the contraption. I had by now figured out the material but could only imagine how the doctor had managed to harvest enough to armour a bot this size, because the impossible armour was made of spider silk. It had to be. It would explain the strange white colour and Sonic's inability to break through it: pound for pound spider silk is stronger than kevlar whilst also being flexible and naturally occurring. It is a super-material I have been trying to get my hands on for months, but to no avail (hey, have you tried farming spiders? Not easy I'll tell you now!)
At a signal from Eggman the shark slapped the stupefied sonic from his perch on its back with its dorsal fin, sending the teenager screaming into the water. I realised Eggman had now got Sonic right where he wanted him. The shark dived under whilst Eggman drifted up to the ceiling girders. I didn't want to see why the robot had its name. I ran and dived into the water. After narrowly avoiding the metal monstrosity's maw I grabbed the struggling Sonic and used my tails like turbine blades to propel us both to the surface, much to the shark's irritation. It snorted (wow, I didn't know robots could do that) and resurfaced with a sour look on its face (I didn't know they could do that either!).
I deposited Sonic on the edge of the pool, bruised and not breathing. I could here Robotnik descending in his chair and I pounded repetitively on Sonic's breast, attempting CPR. After a moment of uncertainty the hedgehog spluttered back into life, spewing out the water from his lungs onto the metal slabs. It was a strange colour; I'd originally though it was the lighting making the water this pinkish shade but before I could ponder further Sonic turned his head weakly and said
"Tails, run, quickly." I didn't want to leave him but Sonic usually knew what he was doing so I obeyed without question and darted behind the nearest pillar just as doctor Eggman descended to eye level with his nemesis. From here I watched, stunned by the scene before me.
At last, Sonic got up, but he did so painfully slowly and his limbs were trembling with the strain. This was bad, for a creature that's used to travelling at the speed of sound to not be able to pick himself up off the ground was worrying, and Sonic would always pick himself up. I nearly went there and then to help my buddy up, but I realised that it would help neither of us and I racked my brain for answers: how could we defeat an enemy that cannot be damaged?
That's when I noticed the controller. It seemed that this particular invention, although in possession of an artificial intelligence, was being primarily controlled by the Doctor himself, as he fiddled with the buttons on a little portable device with an aerial. Perfect. Now, if I could just get my hands on that remote...
"Well, well, well Sonic" Eggman taunted from the safety of his hover chair. "Look who's finally come acropper eh? I can't believe I've not pursued this sort of tactic more often, but I suppose even an evil genius such as I cannot be perfect."
"Really?" said Sonic "I thought you were just awesome in every way: the good looks, the girls, the tash."
"Well I just can't help... wait, was that-"
"Anyway Eggy, what with the white thing on the shark. That stuff's tough!"
"Well, my spiny blue friend, that is spider silk. It's only weak in a web because the strands are so thin. If you can create thicker strands then it becomes one of the strongest substances on the planet." Boasted the overweight menace. He laughed manically and the shark rolled its eyes as if to say "Do I really have to be associated with this guy? Can't we just get on with eating the hedgehog?"
"But how'd you get enough of it to create something that big? Do you have a spider farm out back or something?" The hedgehog asked. I had moved to the next pillar by now in an attempt to creep up on the doctor from behind, but I stopped to hear his explanation; this information would be a scientific breakthrough if someone applied it properly, and Eggman was certainly not going to apply it properly. Which left me as the only other person on Mobius with the know-how, and the will to utilise this material in a way that could benefit others. Typical. Sometimes I just wish there was another genius on this planet who didn't want to take over the world.
"Aha, no my naïve little fellow. If Tails were around I'm sure he could explain the, erm, difficulties with that method. My idea was a bit more high tech than that. But all it took was a little genetic engineering."
Sonic scoffed and tried to move, but fell on his rear again. "Come on Eggman, we all know you're hopeless with biological science. The only reason you managed to develop the egg-virus back on Chris's world was because your grandfather had kept copies of the formula. You couldn't genetically engineer a knat!"
"That's where I come in." said a different voice.
