The Trevor Incident- A Funny OneShot

by IceChildOfNight

warning- do not attempt to eat or drink anytime during reading. IceChild is not reponsible for exploded guts and stitched sides caused by this story. keep out of reach of Trevor-Hators.

disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter.


Neville flushed in the fumes from his potion. He was just barely getting it right, with Hermione hissing instructions to him, but Snape was so scary, swooping around like a bat, and Neville was terrified of bats, had been since one had gotten into his room and tangled in the curtains…

"Neville, look!"

Pulling his hand away from dropping the rose hips in- which, really, they weren't supposed to be used until later- and followed Hermione's shocked gaze. There, sitting calmly in the aisle, was Trevor. Other students had noticed the toad, and were whispering to each other. The Gryffindor's knew it was Neville's pet, and cast worried glances at him. Glancing up at Snape, who was berating Lavender's potion at the front of the room, Hermione stealthily crept into the aisle. The kind-hearted girl didn't want Neville to get in trouble because his toad turned up everywhere (she had actually found it in the girls' bath, once). Hermione slowly reached out to the small amphibian, trying not to startle it, she was almost there…

"Ms. Granger!"

Yelping at the loud voice directly behind her- for Snape had seen what she was doing and crept up behind- Hermione pitched forward, face headed toward the ground…

And stopped when her lips met the bumpy and slightly damp head of Trevor.

Stumbling back and wiping her mouth, since kissing a toad is not very sanitary, the classes' eyes widened as Trevor glowed, the white shape stretching up until it was the form of a tall human. As the rest of them blinked spots from their vision, the glow receded, leaving an extremely good-looking boy in his place. The females in the room all sighed as one, it was as if this boy exuded phermophones that drew the opposite gender like flies; Lavender and Parvati were openly drooling.

Beautiful blue eyes lighting on Hermione, a smile as perfect as a summer day broke on his tanned, smooth-skinned face. "Dear girl, were you the one who released me from my enchantment?" he asked, his voice a smooth baritone that caused shivers of longing to form in every girl in the room. Hermione could only nod, blushing to the roots of the frizzy hair. "Then come with me, for I am Prince Gary-Stu, who had been placed under this awful spell by an evil hag! I shall take you away from tests and frizzy hair, and introduce you to leisure reading and sleek, bouncy curls!" And with that parting statement, he swept up the still-stunned Hermione and strode out of the classroom.

Mr. Longbottom," Snape said, recovering at last, "for having your toad in my classroom, I take away ten points. For finally ridding me of that annoying know-it-all, I award you three hundred points. Now clean up this mess and leave." Stunned, Neville nodded and carried his ruined potion to the sink (it had boiled to a kind of glue). He passed by Harry and Ron, the latter who seemed to be sobbing, while the former tried very hard not to laugh.


On another note, let it be known that Minerva McGonagall took twenty points away from Pansy Parkinson, who stole all the toads in school and kissed them, hoping for her own Gary-Stu.

And what of Hermione, you ask? She eventually killed Prince Gary-Stu by means of pummeling him with trashy romance novels, which were all that his library had to read.

Hey, I said he was perfect, not his library.


A/N: Humor, I believe, is one of the best things in life. Hope you enjoyed it!