Adria is attempting to break free of her extremely long writer's block. She's currently obsessed with the manga Dogs: Bullets and Carnage, so here be fic.
Title: Ideal
Genre: Gen/Comedy?
Pairing: Hint of Badou/Naoto
Word Count: Around 550
Rating: PG for a little language. Otherwise it's pretty safe.
Summary: Badou rambles, and Haine listens.
Notes/Warnings: This is me failing miserably at writing some sort of plot. Stupid ahead! :D
Disclaimer: You should all be very happy that I don't own these guys.
"If I ever got a girl," he proclaimed, "She would have long hair."
It was completely random. They had just been sitting quietly in the church when it happened. Haine stared at the redhead, his crimson eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed in a very annoyed expression.
"Really, Badou." he not-really-queried, obviously uninterested. He was bored already, and he hoped the conversation would end at that. He should have remembered that hope was just wishful thinking.
"Yes, really. Long hair. Longer than mine. Blond, maybe light brown if she's good-looking." He waved his hands animatedly, and the cigarette between his long, bony fingers traced various abstract shapes. It left trails of smoke that vanished slowly, leaving tiny, strange, confusing works of art suspended in the stale air.
"She's gotta be good-looking. That's a must. With the face of, like…a fucking angel or something." Badou took a long drag from his smoke. Haine watched him, annoyed. He was tempted to just leave him to ramble by himself, but was also slightly -ever-so-slightly- intrigued.
He didn't move. The eyepatched disaster continued.
"But being pretty isn't half as important as being loyal. My perfect woman would fucking worship me." Haine raised a brow. "She'd make me food, good food. She'd clean my apartment, wash the dishes, fix my clothes when they get torn up." As Badou continued to brandish his cigarette, the smoke surrounding the two of them got thicker. Haine waved the vapor away from his face, coughing slightly. "And she'd be obedient. She wouldn't question me, she'd never look angry. She'd always be cheerful. She'd love everything about me."
He declared this with a look of absolute, dead seriousness on his face. The albino had to roll his eyes at that statement. Now Badou was just dreaming.
"BUT!" he exclaimed, making Haine jump, "The most important thing about my girl, the single, deciding factor that makes her my ultimate woman, the one thing that'll seal the deal…" he leaned forward, pausing for dramatic effect with a wild look in his eyes that even made Haine nervous…
"Is that she buys my smokes for me."
An enormous pause followed. His lively voice echoed throughout the church and bounced off the high ceiling and stone walls. He sat across from Haine, grinning enthusiastically. The other just stared.
The exasperated Haine was about to get up and forget about all this nonsense, when the heavy door of the church opened. The two of them automatically turned to look at who had come in.
Dark, cold eyes met Haine's red ones. The sword-chick had arrived. She only looked at him for a split second, immediately focusing her attention on the smoking gunman that had just spoken. Casually, she strode over to the pew where they were situated and took something out of her coat pocket.
"Here." She said curtly, tossing the object to Badou, "I was at the store this morning and I remembered that you were running out of cigarettes."
The two males gawked at her, speechless. Haine could only gaze disbelievingly as Badou's head turned back and forth from the brand-new pack of smokes, to the dark-haired woman, to the pack of smokes, and to the woman again.
"What." Naoto frowned and crossed her arms. "Don't I get a 'thank you'?" she said irritably.
For the rest of the day, Badou refused to look at her or speak to her, and Haine couldn't stop laughing.
