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/Don't Want To Be A Haruno\
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬~ஜ۩۞۩ஜ~▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
'life is like riding a bycicle, in order to keep balance you have to keep moving.'
She did not want to be a Haruno.
This was one of the first things she had learned about herself. She could not have said when exactly she learned it,but it was very early. And more than early, it was deep inside. In the stomach, like hunger.
But different from hunger, different and worse. Because it was always there. Hunger came only sometimes,such as just before dinner or on long ride in a car. Then, quickly, it was gone the moment it was fed. But this thing,there was no way to feed it. Well, one way perhaps, but that wasnt possible, it was love and that was unthinkable she'd never get that. So it was never gone.
In fact, gone was something it could not be, for she could not escape it any more than she could escape himself. The best she could do was forget it. Sometimes she did so, for minutes, hours, maybe even for a day or two.
But this thing did not like to be forgotten. Like air escaping a punctured tire, it would spread from her stomach and be everywhere. Inside and outside, up and down, day and night, just beyond the foot of her bed, in her sock drawer, on the porch steps, in the sudden flutter of a bush that she had come too close to. Everywhere.
Just to remind her. This thing, this not wanting to be a haruno, did it ever knock her from her bike? untie her shoe lace? call her a name? stand up and fight?
no. it did nothing. it was simply, merely there, a whisper in her heartbeat, reminding her of the moment she dreaded above all others, the moment she was born. the moment she became a Haruno.
In her dreams she always looks around her to find a bunch of wild animals all around her. Their eyes are like polished buttons on a shirt. They don't blink. It seems as if the animals are about to speak but they do not. voices start surrounding her. The voices start to chant 'Haruno get out of here, you're a disaster to all, you will bring destruction to this world, now leave you are nothing but trouble' as if it was some mantra or something.
She could not. She couldn't move, nor could she breathe. She wants to run, desperately, she wants to run away from everything, but, she can't her body is like stone. And the voices chant and the black eyes stare.
Sometimes she wished it would come after her, chase her, this thing she did not want to be. Then at least she could run from it, she could hide. But the thing never moved. It merely waited. Waited for her to come to it.
And she would. she would come to it as surely as nine follows eight and ten follows nine. she would come to it without having to pedal or run or walk or even move a muscle. she would fall smack into the lap of it without doing anything but breathe.
In the end she will still be sakura haruno, the disastrous monster she is and there is no known way to escape her fate.
yep! she definitely wishes she was not a Haruno.!
