With a cry of joy, Sakura leapt into her winged savior's arms. "Dark, I was so scared…" she sobbed into his shoulder, her crimson wings quivering. "I almost didn't make it…"
His husky voice tickled her ear as he pulled her closer. "I thought you were dead. I came all the way across the dimensions to come find you."
"Oh Dark," the mysterious winged banditess whispered. "I love
Hm…no. No, that wasn't quite right for the ending of a thirty three chapter fic. It needs a bit more pizzazz. The reviewers…well, most of the reviewers…had been clambering for a kiss. Just a little chaste smooch wouldn't do. After all, this WAS rated K plus. Time for a little makeout fun.
"Oh Dark," the mysterious winged banditess whispered. "I love you…" He leaned down and placed his lips upon her own. She breathed in sharply, then gave herself over to the wave of pleasure that swamped her chest. His mouth was warm and sweet, and tasted of the purest cinnamon. "I love you too." Not breaking the kiss, Dark scooped Sakura into his strong arms. With a soft whoosh of wind through feathers, the pair of noble thieves flew into the endless night.
With a sigh of pleasure, Emily leaned back in her chair, carelessly stabbing the Save button with her pointer finger. At last, done at last. When she had begun her fan fiction Red On Black, she wasn't sure of the reception it would receive. But at least five people had sent encouraging reviews, all of whom had written stories with character similar to her Sakura. But of course, Sakura was different from the rest. Sakura was clumsy even though she was a graceful phantom thief, and her past was drenched in shadows so that she could not remember her past. It had been a long, difficult battle for her as she met Dark and was soon sucked into a painting determined to kill her because it was possessed by the ghost of her abusive father. To make matters worse, her heart had been torn between her destined soul mate The Phantom Thief Dark, his counterpart Krad, the Hikari descendant Satoshi, and the innocent Niwa Daisuke. All had been straught with strange emotions at Sakura's appearance, and in the end, Dark had been forced to do battle with the evil (but hot) Krad for her. But of course, she'd loved Dark all along. The fact that he'd won didn't matter at all. Of course not. Besides, the good guys always win, and by good, she meant hotter.
True, not ALL of the six reviewers had been pleased…there was one review that stated, "This fic is a complete and total Mary Sue. Please do all of DNAngel fanfiction a favor and delete it. Now." Now how rude was that? Hell no was she going to delete her fanfiction masterpiece! And what was a Mary-Sue, anyway? Hmm…she thought she'd heard of something being called that. Wasn't a Mary-Sue the author inserting herself into a story and being super powerful? Of course Sakura wasn't a Mary-Sue. After all, she actually tripped over a stick one time, right in front of Satoshi. And she had sparkling emerald eyes, whereas Emily only had brown. Of course Sakura wasn't a Mary-Sue. How outrageous was that idea? Emily laughed to herself silently, then moved her mouse cursor to the "Update Story" option of her account, silverwolfqueen1922. She couldn't wait to see the final chapter of Red On Black glowing in all its black-and-white glory upon the screen.
Story not found.
What? …What? Her breath quickened as she clicked repeatedly, frantically on the Update Story button.
Story still not found.
But…how?…no…NO! The other chapters weren't saved upon her computer! If they were gone…Emily tried again. Once more. Please please please…
Story still not going to be found no matter how many times you click the button.
She couldn't breath. She couldn't breath. Her hands dropped to her sides, and she stared dumbly at the computer screen, mentally willing her story to suddenly pop up on the screen. Where was it? She hadn't deleted it. She'd just checked it this morning and the story had been fine. How…
In a manner that appeared incredibly impudent to come at her time of crisis, a chime resonated from the computer's speaker. Numbly and completely independent of her thoughts, her fingers fumbled against the mouse. They brought up the inbox of her e-mail program and clicked upon the message. With a soft ping, the text scrolled across her vision, filling the screen in bold black letters that obliterated her Phantom Thief Dark screenshot background.
Dear Emily,
You have been charged with the misdemeanor of writing incredibly, incredibly bad DNAngel fan fiction under classification A-21, "Mysterious-past author-aware-of-Mary-Sues-but-in-denial phantom-thief Mary-Sue". You do not get to have a lawyer at your trial, because there is no need for a trial when you are so blatantly guilty. You have the right to say nothing. Any protests you send can and will be presented to the Headmaster, who will subsequently provide them as detention slips under the mercy of one Towa-chan. As a Dark-paired-with-Mary-Sue felon-in-training, you don't want that to happen to you. You really don't. This letter is being typed out by someone who did the same thing, and said I wouldn't go to the dumb school. Bad things happened. Get me out of here! Towa's coming, she has a bat, she's-
We apologize for the interruption. As we were saying, you will be admitted as of in the next 78 seconds to the Official University Of DNAngel Fan Fiction, to learn how to not be such a terrible writer. You do not need to fill out any slips, because you have absolutely no choice in the matter. As we stated in the above paragraph, throwing a tantrum will not help you in the least, so don't bother. We provide free one-way transportation to the university. You'll have to figure out how to get back on your own. The university runs on a different time schedule from your own world, so no one will notice you're gone. We're not quite sure how this works, but we've decided not to question it. Words of Advice: Bring a towel. You're going to need your towel. It's on the back of your chair.
Sincerely,
The Administrative Board of The Official University Of DNAngel Fan Fiction
Emily blinked repeatedly, but the mirage letter would not go away. Suddenly, the first line of it rang in her ears. "HORRIBLY BAD FAN FICTION! Those bastards! I worked so hard on Black On Red! How DARE they say it's bad! I'll show them; I sure as hell am not going to any damn University Of Crappy Fan Fiction…" Muttering irritably to herself, she typed a reply to the e-mail that told them exactly what she thought of their intelligence, writing skills and pedigree.
We told you that wouldn't help. That's worth two detentions at least. We're keeping track, you know.
Slightly taken aback by the abrupt response, Emily nonetheless proceeded to inform them that she wouldn't be attending any so-called University, you pompous frauds. With a dignified hmph, she reached down and furiously yanked the power plug out of the computer. She'd have to reboot the thing, but it was well worth it to get rid of contact with these retards.
The screen didn't go black. Nothing happened.
Another detention for attempting to avoid your jail sentence…we mean rehabilitation, of course. And you are indeed a Mary-Sue writer. If you continue to deny this, we will be forced to invoke a large Border Collie that will sit upon your chest until you repeat again and again, "I am a Mary-Sue writer." We don't know what this has to do with DNAngel, but the Border Collie won't leave us alone. It might be the Plothole Paradox equation changing its numbers around again, but we think one of the students smuggled it in. Ah well, it's helpful. Now have fun. Bring your towel.
"No!" Emily exclaimed with disgust, glaring at the impassive text on her computer screen.
Bring your towel.
Too bewildered to whack the computer monitor, she wondered outloud, "My computer is arguing with me." She picked up the navy towel that she'd left draped over her chair after her morning shower. There didn't seem to be anything better to do. There was a whirring noise, and the world suddenly yanked the rug out from underneath her feet. With a yelp of surprise, her heels went over her head, and she tumbled into the spiral of water swirling down the sink drain.
Twelve hundred four strands of inconsistency and falling…0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Author's Note: All right, I basically stole the Official University Of Fan Fiction from Sapphire Artemis, who stole it from Ekwy. So pretty much the rights to the basic idea of this story go to Ekwy. Whoever that is. This is the prologue. Now, for more pressing issues. I need applicants to be students in the Official University Of DNAngel Fan Fiction. Your character will get to be in a dorm, and go to classes taught by the hot guys of DNAngel. Sound fun? Yay. Just say in your review that you wish to be in the fanfic, and if you want to be called something other than your account name, and what you want to look like. Please keep in mind that everything you wish may not quite make it into the fanfic. But come on, you get to be in a fanfic. You know you want to apply. Click the button. We all love the button.
