"I'm going to die" Engie announced before flopping himself onto the couch.

Snippy side eyed him with caution.

"That's it. This is the end for me. " He drew a pitiful breath through his gas mask. When Snippy made no move to acknowledge him, Engie started moaning every now and then, whimpering in between deep gulps of air. It didn't make Snippy feel bad, but it was nerve grating, and Engie had landed on his couch. It wouldn't be so bad, should Snippy not be already sitting on it.

Engie twisted and turned, and nudged Snippy's stomach with his combat boots. Apparently, the best position for him involved making Snippy distinctly uncomfortable, and Engie's foot dislodged his gas mask in what Snippy thought to be a very deliberate kick to the face.

He sighed.

It wasn't defeat. It was simply resignation.

"What happened this time?"

Engie feigned stoicism while feigning acute pain.

"Photoshop got to me." He stifled his pathetic cries."It's going to fester and I'll die."

"You aren't even blee-" Snippy bit back his usual response. "Let me see it."

Engie peeled his glove away cautiously before shoving his finger against Snippy's goggles.

There, it laid a scratch.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"Just put a band-aid on it!"

"There's no non-radioactive band-aid nearby." Engie pouted. Snippy couldn't see it behind the gas mask, of course, but Engie had a way with words. A way to sound like a sulky eight years old boy, that is, when he wasn't being overtly smart."Also, anywound should be sanitized and treated properly. The toxic waste-"

"Yeah yeah yeah."

Snippy grabbed Engie's wrist without a second thought. With his mask pushed to the side, he quickly pressed his mouth against the cut before dropping it back on Engie's lap.

"There, you see? I kissed it better."

"What the hell?" Engie's mask read eugh, bacteria. "This doesn't even work!"

"Certified Dead Zone guide, highly trained on survival. No complaints and no refunds available."


Unbeta-ed, sorry! I had this idea while working on two other Engie/Snippy fanfiction.