Best I Ever Had
By SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal
The cold October wind whistled as he walked the empty roads. Each step he took towards his destination cause a twinge of pain somewhere near his heart. In the distance he could hear chattering and laughing from the village not far away. If he strained his hearing enough, he could hear jovial shouts of 'Hello!' and 'Good to see you'. He wondered when the next time would be that he would say, 'Good to see you' and actually meant it. Sometimes he thought that he rarely said anything heartfelt and true… well… at least not anymore.
The road began to incline and he climbed his way up the hill. A momentary calm in the wind allowed him to relax his hunched shoulders. As the sun moved ever closer to its peak in the sky he reached the top of the hill. The wind bit and scratched at his body that was not longer blocked my earth. He could have apparated here… of course. But at the same time… he couldn't. This was something that took time. It just didn't seem right to appear there. He felt as though he needed to earn the right before hand. He removed his hand from the confines of his coat pocket and his unprotected flesh met ice cold metal. He took one last deep breath and pulled open the gate.
Inch by inch he made his way closer to the only thing left in the world that mattered. The evidence and cause of his broken heart, the thing that took away his will to live, but at the same time drove him ever forward, the object that lay before him brought forth more emotion that many felt in a lifetime. This was all he had left of her. The woman that he loved so dearly, that left his life forever. As the wind attacked his face, he could feel a cool line of tears freezing on his face and he shivered. Some might call it pathetic to see a grown man on his knees clutching at the thing that brought him so much heartache after so many years had passed. Some might urge him to move on, but in his mind that was unacceptable. Wasn't it better to worship the broken pieces of true love, than to have something second best? He would take the ruins of the best thing over the perfection of anything else.
What had she reduced him to? He sat there weeping. Tears of sorrow, tears of guilt, tears of bitterness, tears of hatred—this is what he had left; this is what he clung to! Sometimes he wished he had never met her. He wished she would have never put her hand in his, never kissed his cheek, never arched into his caresses. He wished he would have controlled his mind, controlled his hands, controlled his heart. If she had never loved him, she could never have left him, and he wouldn't be drowned in anguish. He wanted to hate her, to hate himself, to hate everyone.
They were to be married.He had given the ring and he had said the words—words rehearsed for hours until perfect. It was going to be the best day of his life—and maybe even hers too, until she left him. He couldn't control himself and the memories came flooding back. Anger surged through him at the thought of weakness, but all was forgotten when he remember the happenings of that fateful day.
It was their wedding day. He said his vows and she hers, and all that was left was the "I Do" which he quickly, and gladly said. Now it was her turn. He knew that he loved her and she him, but all the same—he couldn't say he wasn't nervous. He could barely even register what the priest was saying all that mattered in that moment was his eyes locked on hers. Then he heard silence, it was her time to speak. But instead of seeing assurance in her eyes he saw fear he saw her glance him, not looking in his eyes, and that's when everything fell apart. He can never really remember exactly how the rest went… it all starts to become foggy just here. Flashes of his love with sorrow and pain in her eyes, and his own staggering breath as his heart began to break. Then all he could remember was light. The one thing, the only thing, that stood out boldly in his mind was the last things said before she left.
He reached for her and whispered, "Don't leave me." And louder almost a scream, "You can't leave me."
"I'm sorry."
And then it was over.
He found himself gasping for air again, as though his already broken heart was managing to break into even smaller pieces still. All self control he had was gone, and he sobbed freely.
It was probably for the best that no one saw him. Such raw grief and sorrow was too much for another to witness. It was so sincere and earth-shattering, that at the mere viewing of it you might feel your heart begin to weaken…and almost break. Even the birds of the air seemed to flee from the heartbreak. The lilies of the field seemed to bend in the wind, stretching as far away from the pain as possible.
Why shouldn't they? This was something to be kept secret—something to happen, but never be heard of. Because that's exactly what it was… unheard of. He was just a man distraught over his loss, begging for an outlet of his grief. But to the world, it was something different. He felt sorrow, the world felt disgust. He found pain, the world found shame. He remembered love, the world remembered rules. He knew loss, the world knew boundaries. Boundaries that he had crossed. The young wizard, who had been clutching so desperately to the object before him, rose slowly and after a few moments his sobbing subsided. His pale hand reached up and pushed his blonde hair out of the way.
He traced his fingers over the engravings before him, thinking all the while.
G
'You were too good for me.'
R
'You really cared what I thought.'
A
"You accepted my faults."
N
"You were everything I needed."
G
"You made me think that maybe there was a God."
E
'You were everything to me'
R
'You showed me real love'
He took a deep breath and the world seemed to awaken and start spinning again. The birds again started chirping and the lilies no longer cowered in the wind. The world watched as he headed for the gate, just another sad boy leaving the grave of a brave girl who died to young. Nothing seemed to make this story any different than the others that happened during that war, but it was different for him. She wasn't just any girl.
The gate creaked open and he whispered, "You were the best I ever had."
Finito!
A/N: if you didn't get it already this was a Hermione/Draco story and Hermione didn't leave him at the alter when that look of fear crossed her face, she died on the alter. Hope you enjoyed! I know I'm awful for writing these one-shots instead of finishing the two stories that I already had up…but im just not inspired at the moment. I'm so sorry.
