Author; Celticmadien
Rating: T
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Notes: I don't know what is wrong with me, I am in such an angst mood. Jeeze I usually write a more light hearted fic.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, they belong to CBS, I just play with them once in a while.
She stands in front of the newly laid headstone, rain slowly making its way down her face to mix with the tears there. She lays a shaking hand on the cold stone and bows her head. He always had to be first, he always had to take all the risks. It caught up with him and now he was gone, leaving a hole in the hearts of all those who knew him.
"Garcia?" She turns at the sound of her bosses voice and sees the rest of the team standing behind her.
"I have to go Hotch, I can't stay here. '' She mutters, turning her back on the rest of her family. They all watch her with sadness in their eyes, knowing that when he died, she had to, they were loosing both of them.
"I'll take you home." JJ stepped forward and wrapped her arm around her shoulder.
"No. I mean I'm leaving. The car is already packed. I can't take the memories, I can't take the pain. I'm going to South Carolina, I have a job waiting on me there. I have to get away." She muttered the words, her hand still resting on the wet stone.
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" Hotch asked, understanding her pain.
"Yes. I'm leaving when I leave here. I might be back, when it doesn't hurt so much." A knot formed in her throat. She loved her adopted family, she really did, but if she stayed here, she would never make it through this.
"We're going to leave you alone. Call us when you're ready." JJ kissed her on the cheek, fighting back tears of her own.
The team made their way to the black SUV parked close by and Penelope squeezed her eyes shut. Why did life have to be so hard, why did it have to suck so much?
"Even in death you belong to him." Kevin Lynch spoke, making her jump and turn around. "It was always him, wasn't it?" He asked, pain evident in his voice.
"I love you Kevin, but he was the one thing holding me together. You're a good friend. "
"It could still work between us Pen. I'll take care of you." He was reaching and he knew it.
Penelope turned around, her hand resting on her destended belly, rubbing small soothing circles, holding on to the one part of Derek Morgan she had left.
"I can't do that to you Kevin. I can't be with you and love him, I can't let you raise another man's child, I can't let you sacrifice your happiness for mine.
"Damn it Pen! You don't have to leave!" He insisted taking a step forward.
She smiled at him sadly and kissed him on the cheek. "Yes I do." She whispered, giving his hand a brief squeeze. She walked past him, soaked to the bone, teeth chattering and heart breaking. She had loved him with every fiber of her being, she would miss him like she would miss the sun should it ever go away. He was her sun, her best friend, and now she would never hear his voice calling her baby girl again, never hear him laugh. He wouldn't be there when she needed a shoulder to lean on or feel his hands cradling her belly when they slept at night, protecting her and their child even in sleep.
Taking a deep breath Penelope started the car. As she drove away she looked in her rearview mirror, the headstone shrouded in rain as if god himself was weeping for the lose of such a good soul. Fresh sobs broke from her throat. Would the pain ever go away? Would it ever stop hurting?
