Love. The four-lettered word was simple enough, but for some reason, Logan just couldn't figure out what it meant. Sure, he loved his mother and father and sister and other family members, but that wasn't the right kind of love. He also loved pancakes and pretty much every other food, but that still wasn't the right kind of love. He also loved his friends, and band mates, and of course he loved James' dog. But everyone loved Fox. And even that wasn't the right kind of love.
Logan decided that he wanted to know what it was. It was killing him that everyone seemed to write about it, and talk about it. He felt left out. He didn't like that. So what did the he do? He did the only rational thing of course; he bought a bunch of chick-flicks.
"Oh god Mark, I love you!"
I love you too Sarah, so much!"
"How can you watch that shit?" Kendall asked after barging into the tour bus' media room.
"Shhhh!" Logan hissed before throwing popcorn at his band member/best friend, and turning back to the screen. He was surprisingly into it, and James seemed to be just as absorbed, if not more so than Logan. Kendall just sighed and rolled his eyes before going to find Carlos, probably to gossip like old ladies about whether or not so and so had gained any weight.
James and Logan barely registered the blonds exit, because it was Mark and Sarah's first kiss. Logan had tears in his eyes as the credits started to roll, and James was trying to wipe his own away without drawing any attention to the movement.
They sat for a few moments in silence, before James decided to turn in for the night. Just as he was about to leave, Logan asked him a question.
"James, what is love?"
The taller man closed his eyes and bit his lip, trying to keep himself composed. Once he was happy that he could look at Logan without either crying or running to him and kissing the life out of him, he turned back and replied simply,
"Love? It's something that only happens in movies. Goodnight."
And with that, he left.
*
Logan sighed as he dragged his heavy limbs off the side of his bed. He hopped out of the bunk and walked groggily into the kitchen, wiping away the sleep at his eyes. He had been having trouble sleeping that night and decided to get a nice refreshing glass of milk. As he entered the kitchen, he noticed the bus door open and saw a happy looking James step inside. 3:00 o'clock. He was earlier than normal.
"Have fun with Halston?" Logan asked, although he really couldn't care less. For some odd reason that Logan didn't like to think too hard about, whenever he saw James with his girlfriend, his insides churned and bubbled and made him uneasy. It was a gross feeling.
"Uh, yeah it was fun."
"James, can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Do you love her?" James froze at the question. He really wasn't expecting something like that, and had no idea how to answer his friend.
"She makes me smile." He said simply before walking towards his bunk.
*
Kendall smiled drunkenly as wrapped an arm around Logan's shoulder.
"Loges man, did you see that chick tonight? She was amazing."
"Too bad you'll never see her again." Carlos said while laughing at James, who was currently looking as if he was trying not to puke.
"You never know 'Litos," Logan started, "Love works in weird ways, maybe Kendall will meet her again and they'll get married."
"Logan?" James mumbled hoarsely.
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
"Excuse me?"
"Just shut up already. Shut up about all of your theories about love and all of that shit."
"Well fine then, if you don't like my ideas about love, why don't you guys try and explain it to me? Please, enlighten me on the subject." Logan said angrily.
"Love is being able to get laid by a girl and never get tired of it." Kendall said before promptly passing out on his spot on the couch.
"Love is something that can ruin a man's sanity." Said Carlos while nodding his head wisely.
"Love?" James said as if the word were disgusting. "Love, doesn't exist." And with that he stormed out of Logan's hotel room, leaving a confused Logan, an unconscious blond and a short Hispanic man who was currently drawing inappropriate designs onto his sleeping comrade.
After waking Kendall and ushering him and Carlos out of his room, Logan got ready for bed, but realized that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Not any time soon anyways. So, he decided to go visit his friend, James, in the next room over.
James answered the door after three knocks and then left again to lie on his bed. Logan walked into the room and sat on the edge of his friend's bed.
"Love does exist." He manages to say in barely a whisper.
"No, Logie, it doesn't."
"Then if it doesn't exist, tell me what your take on it is, hypothetically of course."
"Love is… Love is simple." James mumbled, staring up at the ceiling.
"Like, one-night stand simple?"
"Kind of. Love is like, a one-time kind of thing. Nothing is forever and love isn't an exception."
"But, I love you." Logan said as he stared at his friends face, stared at the way his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed, stared at his long eyelashes that fluttered over his high cheek bones as he blinked. He stared at James, and realized that he loved him in a whole new way, not like he loved Kendall or Carlos or Fox or pancakes. And it just confused him more.
"Logan… That's different. That's friend love. Not real love." James said with conviction.
And then suddenly Logan realized how untrue that was. He should've loved James in the friendly kind of way. Not in the way that made him jealous whenever Halston was around, and not in the way that made him smile whenever he thought of his hazel-eyed friend.
He tried not to let his tears show as he let himself out of the room.
*
The next day, the boys were all back on the tour bus, heading to a new city to play for a new audience and to make their manager more money. Logan was sitting in a chair, reading his book and trying not to think about how cold he was. James walked in and saw the dark haired boy curled up and shivering. Without a word, he walked to his bunk and grabbed his blanket, throwing it over his friend.
"You're cold." He stated when Logan held up the article questioningly.
"Not anymore." Said Logan with a smile as he snuggled into its warmth.
James smiled at the sight, because Logan was just too adorable, before he said and decided it was time to apologize.
"I'm sorry about last night."
"You shouldn't be."
"Do you want to know what I think love is?"
"I think you made it pretty clear last night."
"No, I really didn't."
"Fine James, please explain to me what you think love is." Logan said trying so hard to sound bored and uninterested. Trying being the operative word, of course.
"Love," said James as he sat down next to his friend, so close that their bodies were pressed right up against each other's.
"Love, doesn't need words." And then he kissed the boy he'd been in love with since for as long as he had known him.
And that's how Logan found out exactly what love was.
