Hi, so I'm hoping to update every two weeks or so. I have probably too many fics going on, but I couldn't wait. I feel like this is some of my best writing and there needs to be more amebela.
Natalia wiped the sweat from her face as she stepped off the treadmill. She took a long drink from her water bottle, her eyes glued to one of the televisions playing an episode of a crime drama she loved. She'd seen the episode before, but she still was on the edge of her seat with every episode. The detective was questioning a suspect on the murder of a woman in an alley as she grabbed some wipes to clean the equipment. Rarely did people clean them after they were done. It was a disgusting habit. It made her want to scream. Her father would have worn her out had she ever not kept things pristine, let alone making another person clean up after her. The typical idea of "they get paid to do it" was so far out of her mind. She could not understand how people found that to be okay. But she guessed that was the life of an army brat. You learned your manners and you learned to keep things in a row. A toe out of line was not tolerated in her family.
She made her way to the weight room, keeping her head high and eyes straight as the men stopped their reps to molest her with their eyes. She couldn't show how uncomfortable it made her, how disgusted she was. She put on her bitch face and ignored them. It was no wonder women were turned off at the thought of lifting weights. The men acted as if they owned it and the overload of testosterone made most of them hypersexual. Any woman who entered, even the staff who were just there to clean up after the animals, were instantly a spectacle. She watched one of the staff members struggling with a fifty pound weight plate, eyes fixed to the ground not daring to look up as five men ogled her as though they were starving wolves who'd found prey after days of nothing.
She rolled her eyes and walked over to the girl. Natalia refused to let another girl be treated in that way. If she could be there to show them they weren't afraid, that they couldn't be manipulated and would not quietly give in to their disgusting behavior and demands then by god she would be there. She offered a smile to the girl and took the fifty from her, sparking up a conversation as she glared at any guy who had the nerve to undress them with their eyes. Did they not know they needed the blood to be in their muscles, lungs, and heart? Not pooling in their favorite organ. She had spent so much of her life being treated like this. Her sister had gotten most of it. The memories of sexual assault haunted Natalia's mind. She hated them. She hated what they did. She could never trust a man. She knew well enough they could not be trusted. She had to stay in charge of the situation. If she wanted to fool around that was her prerogative. She would initiate it and once she was done, she'd break it off. Control.
She found out that the girl's name was Julie. She was nineteen and attending the local university to be a kindergarten teacher. She worked at the gym for extra money where her financial aid didn't cover the bills and expenses. She was from Georgia originally and had ended up in New Jersey for something new. She could have gone to school to teach there, but she wanted a change of pace. Natalia understood that. She moved around her entire life. She couldn't stay in one place too long before her skin started to crawl and the world called her name. Something new was her life motto. Julie's voice was soft and accented. It was endearing to Natalia's ears. They talked for a bit, great conversation in Natalia's opinion. If she were the type to make friends, she would have wanted to be hers, but just like staying in one place, Natalia couldn't stay with certain people too long either.
Once they'd finished racking the weights, Natalia bid her a good day and started her work out. Biceps, triceps, lunges. She fixed her eyes on the mirror to watch her form. Her father had taught her about fitness. He kept his three children in tiptop shape. She learned weight training the second she was old enough to do it without hurting herself. She'd never missed a day since. Exercise was addicting. It was the one thing she'd never get tired off. She had opted for gym membership to a gym that she had access to any location available worldwide. She powerlifted a few sets, brushing off any man who came near her. She didn't need a spot. She knew that was stupid. That her distrust put her in danger. She didn't care. She'd rather drop weights on her chest than be touched by someone she hadn't approached first.
She was glad to leave the weight room. She could feel their eyes on her ass as she walked out. Let them look. If they disrespected her boundaries, she'd break their arm. She had gotten better, stronger than she'd been. It wouldn't happen again. She drained the rest of her water into her mouth before she stretched out her muscles. Her eyes scanned the gym. She noted the regulars. She never talked to them, but she knew her fellow gym rats. There were a few new people who were making an attempt to get more active. A smile danced on her lips. It always made her so happy. She hoped they'd stick with it. Seeing people stop coming filled her with pain. She knew it was hard to start and everyone should be encouraged. Nobody should feel dumb trying to figure out the machines. You had to start somewhere. Nobody was born knowing how to do this.
She showered and changed into fresh clothes. She dried her hair and applied her makeup. Fuck what anyone thought or said. She could look as beautiful as she wanted for herself and if anyone tried anything, she'd make sure they regretted it. Slinging her bag over her shoulder she went to the smoothie bar to order a protein refresher as usual. They were free, part of the membership. She stood at the table, tapping her fingers on the counter as she waited. She could feel her body longing for something greasy. She wasn't sure if anyone else got that feeling. She felt weak if she didn't have it. It was almost like a hangover in a way. She just needed the smoothie to drink as she walked down the busy city street to her favorite burger place where she'd order a double cheeseburger, chili cheese fries and a large strawberry shake. It was a guilty pleasure, but she felt she didn't have to answer to anyone. She ate well the rest of the day. Fuck what anyone had to say.
"Hey, darlin'," a voice next to her penetrated her thoughts. She looked up to see a blond man she recognized as a regular. He usually kept to himself during his workouts, his earbuds in as he probably blasted loud music. He was one of the only ones who seemed to take his workout as seriously as her. His blue eyes stared at her from behind black rimmed glasses, his crooked smile making them sparkle. The only thing missing from him was a letter jacket and you would have had the poster boy of an All American boy. "How was your work-"
"Don't you ever fucking call me 'darlin'' against asshole," she glared grabbing his shirt in her hands and pulling him to eye level. She said darlin' in a mocking tone. Who the hell did he think he was? "Do you understand me? Or it WILL be the last thing you ever do. Got it?"
"Whoa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" he started.
"Did I fucking as you what you meant? I told you to fuck off," she intensified her glare.
"Yeah, okay, I understand. I'm sorry."
"Good," Natalia smirked.
"Um, can I have my shirt back now?" he asked innocently.
She rolled her eyes and threw him away from her. She hated guys like him. Guys who thought they were so nice. Who hit on a girl at the gym? It wasn't a place you picked up a date. It was a place you went to work out for whatever your reason was. Natalia's reasons were health and to release all the darkness from herself. She took out her aggression and anger with intense physical fitness. Her blood boiled as she watched this guy frown at the table with his eyes glued to the puke green marble. He wanted sympathy and she refused to give it to him.
"I really am sorry, you know," he offered, not moving his eyes from the table.
"Yeah, whatever…" she rolled her eyes.
"Hey, I'm serious and you're being mean and it isn't right."
He stood up straight now, making eye contact. He stepped back this time. She smirked and shook her head. Typical. These fuck boys thinking they were the victims. Fuck that. Fuck them. She wasn't there for their pleasure. Why could they never understand that? Why didn't he understand it? She pushed the memories away and checked for the status of her shake. She didn't understand why it was taking so long.
"You want me to forgive you. Why should I? God, you're all the fucking same…" She refused to look at him.
"Look," his voice was softer now, almost defeated. He turned and put in hand on the counter glancing at the menu. "I know you get harassed and stuff. And it's fucked up and all. I'm sorry."
The tone of his voice and the fact that he acknowledged how she was treated, how every girl in there was treated and every woman on the streets of the city were treated, made her look at him. She wasn't sure why. Perhaps he was genuine? Everything in her told her that wasn't the case, but her eyes turned to him. She gave him a once over before her eyes settled on his shirt. Large, crimson Greek letters popped from the black shirt. ΔΚΕ…Delta Kappa Epsilon. Frat boy. Of course.
"Yeah, ooookay." She glanced at his shirt as a hint. If he caught her, he didn't react.
"No, it is. And I'm not askin' for anything. I hurt you and it's not okay and I am sorry," he frowned again. It didn't suit him.
"You must think you're a good guy, don't you?" she challenged, turning toward him, crossing her arms. She had no idea why she was talking to him. She could ignore him. She could walk away.
"Well I mean…" He rubbed the back of his head and looked away nervously. "I'm told I'm annoying and I talk too much and I laugh too much as too loudly for both. I do have a lot of faults, but I hate hurting people and seeing people get hurt. I just wanna make the world a better place, ya know?"
She frowned. She wasn't expecting that. She had never met a guy who apologized and admitted his faults before. It was intriguing, but also made her nervous. What did he want? What was he planning? She need to know. He seemed genuine…but what if he wasn't? Well if he tried anything, she could handle herself. She prided herself on that. She'd play along. What could it hurt? It had been a while since she'd had some fun. She'd take the bait.
"You didn't say anything to anyone in the weight room when they were saying shit and being disgusting people."
"You are fierce. I know you can handle yourself. You were powerlifting three hundred pounds! You no damsel in distress, honey. Crap, sorry!" He blushed and looked away obviously embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. That made you uncomfortable, oh crap."
She nodded slowly, not really looking at him as she glanced at him. She let the "honey" slide. So he wasn't one of those jump in just because she was a girl type guys. She wanted to know him better. Something in her was curious.
"Do you like burgers?" She asked, twirling a strand of her white blonde hair around her finger, absently.
"Yes," he perked up with a smile.
"Milkshakes?" she raised a brow.
"Of course. Chocolate is the best," he let out a laugh.
"So I know a place…I always need fatty food after a workout or I don't have energy the rest of the day," she said with a sigh, leaning against the counter.
"Oh man, me too. I know what you mean. It's kind of draining and works up an appetite for sure," he agreed.
"Well…" she began. "We're both done with our work out."
"Yeah," he nodded, looking over the counter. He was probably wondering where the shake was like she had been.
"I'm hungry. Are you hungry?" she gave him doe eyes.
"I'm starving!" He rubbed his stomach.
"It's not too far…the place I mean." She licked her lips.
"I hope you have a good time," he grinned. Was he playing with her?
"God, add oblivious to your list of flaws. I'm asking you to come with me," she said annoyed.
"Oh…" the man wrinkled his brow and rubbed his arms awkwardly. He glanced at her. "Are you sure? You've been angry at me for like ten minutes." Their shakes were placed on the counter finally.
"Are you in or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?" she smirked, picking up her shake and taking a slurp before turning and walking out. She made sure to snap her hips. She smiled to herself. Control.
A moment later he was at her side. He brushed his hair back and let out a breath. He had his protein shake in his hand. She sipped on her drink not saying a word or acknowledging he was next to her. It was almost too easy. She didn't think he was going to take the bait earlier. She thought for a second maybe she had misread everything. She thought he may have been gay. Maybe he still was. Is that why she didn't get that red alert that told her to run? Did she somehow sense it? Was that possible? She didn't feel unsafe with him which was more than she could say of anyone else. Even the guys she fooled around with she had still felt a bit on edge.
"This is the place," she smiled opening the door for him. "After you, sir," she smiled playfully. She knew the drill.
"No, no, ladies first," he said almost timidly. She looked at him. He winced slightly. She wondered if he'd noticed. She shrugged.
"Whatever. I'm going to get the best seat I guess," she winked and slinked into the restaurant.
She sat down a booth on the side facing the crowd. She couldn't feel alone with him. She may not feel unsafe, but she didn't feel safe. She didn't want to chance it. As he slid in the booth she thought maybe they should move to a table just in case he tried to slip a hand up her thigh. It would have been simpler to explain why she had thrown him to the ground if there witnesses to see the assault. She felt her heart quicken. She couldn't breathe. Control. She nodded to herself and looked up at the man sitting across from her. He was looking at the menu. She didn't even know his name. Why did she do something so stupid? She left and she didn't know his name.
"So I don't think we've properly been introduced," Natalia said, picking up her menu nonchalantly. "I'm Natalia." She didn't dare give her last name.
"I'm Alfred Jones. I'm sorry. I shoulda introduced myself," he looked embarrassed.
"Alfred?" she raised an eyebrow. "Did your parents think they were having an eighty year old British man?" she let out a laugh.
"Hey!" Alfred said defensively, but in a playful tone. "My brother's the favorite. He got a normal name. Matthew," he smiled. "Nah, I got stuck with a family name from my dad's family."
"Is your brother younger?" Natalia really didn't care.
"No, older by two and a half years," Alfred smiled.
"So why wasn't he plagued with the old man name?" She folded her hand on the table.
"Well…" Alfred shifted. "He's technically my half-brother. We have different biological fathers. See our dads were best friends for like ever. Since they were two or something. Anyway, our mom came into school and they both liked her, but Matthew's dad said something first and my dad just helped him. So anyway his parents fell in loved and they got married pretty young and mom got pregnant with Mattie. They were planning a surprise party for his dad's birthday. He called to say he was on his way home from work. Well…he never made it home. The surprise was yelled at police who were there to say he'd died in a horrible accident. It was really sad. Matthew's mom had just found out she was pregnant a week before and she was going to have the news be a surprise for his birthday. He never even knew. He wanted to be a dad so badly…"
Alfred trailed off as their waiter came to take their orders. Natalia sat silently. This sounded like such a personal story. Why was he telling her this? He had said he talked too much, but she thought he'd meant small talk or at least something that wasn't quite as heavy as his brother's father's death. Why did he trust her? She could be a murder and he was telling his life story to her. It was strange. Who was that open? Their drinks were brought to them and Alfred continued.
"So anyway, it was really sad and our mom was so scared she was going to lose Matthew because she was so upset, but she didn't. She and my dad were close too because our dads were best friends, so obviously. He took care of her. Moved in so he could help her through the difficult time and get her through her pregnancy in the way she deserved and was pampered. He knew exactly how Matthew's dad wanted it because he wanted the same thing. Apparently they were a lot alike. Well you know one thing lead to another and they were dating by the time Matthew was born. They were married when he was eighteen months old. My dad is the only dad my brother knows. He actually adopted him when he and my mom got married, but they kept his dad's last name, Williams. They thought it was the right thing," Alfred sipped his coke.
"Wow…" Natalia played with the ice in her water. "So…so are you two close?"
"Oh yeah. Matthew is my best friend. I tell him everything. He's the only one I don't have any secrets with, ya know?" Alfred smiled.
Natalia was floored by that. Alfred kept things private? At the rate he'd gone, she was sure he was an open book. They'd met a whole twenty minute prior and she already knew something so intimate. She hoped he didn't expect as much. She didn't tell people about herself. She didn't get close. She hoped he'd keep talking. When he didn't she glanced up.
"Okay, but seriously, who looks at a baby and is like Alfred! Like honestly!" she laughed softly.
"Well my family calls me Alfie. Matthew is Mattie. It's what we were called as little kids and well it just stuck and that's what we're called. I like it though. Alfred really is a stuffy name," he let out a laugh as well. "So what about you? Siblings?"
"I have two. A brother and sister. Both older," she said shortly.
"What are their names?"
"Ivan and Katyusha," Natalia glanced over his head at the crowd.
"Where are you from?" Alfred asked. She shifted. "I'll go first. I'm from New York. I grew up in Manhattan."
"Seriously?" Natalia was shocked. "I would have pegged you as a Southerner. You seem to have that kind of personality. I don't know…" Natalia shrugged. "You're not a New York type person."
"I get that a lot," Alfred laughed. "I was born in Brooklyn though."
"Oh…" Natalia shifted. She figured she might as well talk to him. She'd asked him. So wasn't that what she was supposed to do? "I was born in Germany on an army base. My dad is in the army. Ivan joined too. So we moved a lot. I'm not from anywhere."
"Oh…so that must have been fun, huh? Getting to go everywhere?"
"No," Natalia took a few breaths. She glanced at him. "You know what it is? I can't be in once place. It makes me uncomfortable. I can't make meaningful relationships."
Her eyes bulged. Why had she said that? She didn't let things like that be known. She wasn't not that type of person. This wasn't serious. He shouldn't know anything about her. That was none of his business. This was a bad idea. She should have just gone home. Katyusha was probably wondering where she was. Her sister always worried. Ever since that night. Natalia closed her eyes and brushed it away. Maybe she should text her sister to let her know it wasn't happening again.
"Just a moment," Natalia muttered.
She pulled out her phone, a faint smile on her face at her sister's worried text. She responded quickly. "I'm okay. I'm eating at Kippy's with a guy. Alfred Jones. From New York…Manhattan. In a frat at the university. Delta Kappa Epsilon. I'll text you when I'm on my way home." She slid her phone back into her pocket and smiled at him.
"Sorry."
"It's okay," Alfred smiled.
Their food was brought over. Alfred talked enough for the both of them. She wondered if he had sensed her being uncomfortable. She listened to him. He had hopes and dreams of doing something great. He was a business major she learned. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do with it, but he only wanted to do good in the world and make as many people happy as he could. Even if he had one person smile because of him, he was happy. She'd never met anyone like him. Someone so pure. She felt herself loosening up until they were talking and joking around like old friends. They laughed and enjoyed their time. She couldn't remember having this much fun in a long time.
"Oh, shoot," Alfred stood up, slapping a twenty on the table and scrambled up. "I'm late for class. I have to go. I'm sorry. Um, here." He picked up a napkin and scrawled something on it. "I had a really great time and if you want text me your number."
Natalia rolled her and eyes and shook her head. She didn't text first. It was a rule. She refused to seem like she was anymore invested that she was. She took the pen off the table and took his hand to write his number on his palm. He smiled at her and awkwardly stood there for a moment as though he was unsure of what move to make. She laughed softly before shooing him away. She watched him run out.
She picked up her bags to leave herself. She texted her sister she was on her way home before laying her own money on the table. She walked into the cold evening air, her head filled with thoughts of this Alfred. She liked him. He was different. She actually wanted to see him again. That scared her. Why? He seemed like a great guy. Maybe she'd stay in the game a little longer than him…and she needed to be more careful than ever.
Thank you for reading! Please review.
