Disclaimer: Same song and dance. Know the twins, don't own DMC. Would be a millionaire if I did. Heather be mine, peoples!
Summary: This one takes place slightly out-of-sync with the storyline I have established for my fics. I know I said that Trish would never be in one of my stories, but she is mentioned in this one. However, this is the sole exception (deepest apologies to the Trish fans out there); she isn't making a cameo appearance in any other fics of mine (mostly because with the timeline I've come up with, Dante never even meets her!) To put it in a nutshell, this one takes place sometime during "My Angel;" Heather's thoughts after a late-night tryst with Dante, after which he leaves her. Vergil does not make an appearance in this one. I know, it doesn't mesh with "My Angel" too well, but hey, I can't explain where this one came from. Self-esteem clashes with reality, far as I can tell. Reviews are, as always, much appreciated!
Abandoned
I'm laying here alone in the cold wet grass, unable to catch my breath because of you. I am alone now, where before you were here with me. My skirt is hiked up to my waist, my shirt torn open to expose my breasts to the night, the buttons scattered to the winds. My sword necklace is thrown behind my head, tangling in my hair. A tear is sliding down my face, carrying my heart with it.
Why did you leave me? You said you loved me, whispered it into my ear as you moved atop me, over and over and over again…What did I do to make you leave? Your departure had to be my fault; you are so perfect, so flawless, you would never make a mistake.
Especially not one to do with me.
Why did you leave?
Is it because I'm fat? I know I promised so many times to lose weight, to become more akin to those skinny models you admire so much in your dirty magazines and adult movies. I tried so many times to diet, but I could never muster the willpower to continue for more than a few weeks; I love my burgers and Doritos too much to give them up for long. I cannot wean you off your beer, so why should I have to give up my favored foods for the sake of thinness?
Did you leave because I'm not beautiful? Because I do not have blonde hair, blue eyes, or a body that matches your own for sheer height? I know you are attracted to females who look like your mother (I don't blame you; she's so beautiful in that photograph you keep on your desk, your only tribute to the woman who gave you life), a classic Freudian case. Did you leave because my hair is brown rather than shining gold? Because my eyes alternate between brown and green, not a straight sapphire like hers? Because I am short rather than tall, as she was?
Did you leave me for that woman you once called 'partner', the woman who looks almost exactly like her? Does she lay claim to your heart because she is your mother's doppelganger, and I can never look like her?
Or is it some other reason?
Your taking was so rough this time, so unlike your usual considerate ways. Oh, it felt wonderful, of course; it always does no matter what you do to me. But something was different this time. You've been rough before, rough to the point that I was unsure whether to scream out in agony or ecstasy, but this time I felt something else from you…
Desperation?
Was this your way of saying good-bye?
You never said any of the usual things this time. No "relax, babe," or "God, you're tight!" rang through the air this night. Just that same declaration of love, whispered over and over again in my ear, always in time with your movements.
If you love me so much, why are you gone from me?
I think of you as the wind rushes across my naked form, and my heart aches. I love you so much it hurts, a sweet agony unlike anything a woman should be able to survive. What did you do to me, when I resisted loving you for so long? How did you break the barriers encasing my heart all these years? How did you make me open up to you when I had stayed behind the mask for so long, hiding from the world?
I trusted you, so much…
I love you, so much…
Why am I now alone in the grass, feeling the warmth of my body slowly leaving me? Why am I laying here motionless while your seed leeches onto the frosty carpet beneath me?
Why didn't I stop you from walking away from me?
What can another woman offer you that outshines that which I already have? My virginity, my body, my heart and soul? I gave you so much, and yet it still wasn't enough to make you stay. What more did you want from me? What does that woman, any woman, have that I don't? Beauty? Strength? A soul?
You always said that I was beautiful enough for you, that you liked having something substantial to hold onto while we made love. You always said that I was strong enough, after all those years of pain and loneliness, to deal with the devil inside you. You always said that I had more of a soul than you, that while both of us had lost so much over time I had managed to keep more of my soul than you had. If they weren't what caused you to leave, then what am I lacking?
I wish you would tell me, but you are gone from me now.
Silvery tears trail down my face, glinting in the moonlight, shining in the coldness of the stars.
And then…
I see you.
You're kneeling beside me, and your perfect face is silhouetted against the pale moon; I cannot read your emotions. Your hands are beneath my shoulders, under my knees, and you lift me into your arms, cradling me against the inferno that is your body.
You place a tender kiss upon my forehead, and whisper to me not to cry. You never let me cry. I never let myself cry. Why do I allow the tears to flow now, after keeping them dammed up for so many years?
My hands curl into the red leather you wear to shield your body from the gazes of those you deem unworthy of looking upon you, of seeing the perfection that is your human form. Your hair, silver as the tears falling to the ground beneath us, brushes against my face as you kiss me softly.
As if you loved me.
I feel your heart beating beneath my fists, and I have to wonder what rules you, the demon or the man? You often say that you fear you cannot control the demon around me…
Is that why you left me? Because you were afraid of your own blood, your own strength?
Were you trying to protect me?
You lift your head, and I can see into the azure orbs that are your eyes.
Love for me…
Terror for me…
You carry me away to your home, and I rest against the steely muscles that are your chest, letting out my breath in a whisper-soft exhalation.
I love you so much.
I would do anything for you.
Just please…
Do not abandon me again.
