This is actually very sad but I needed to write it. I am very gloomy and I miss my boyfriend so there.
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Wouldn't it be great if life were simple?
If life were fair?
If life were happy?
If life weren't filled with sorrow?
If I were constantly plagued by these horrific thoughts?
Thoughts of me on my death bed with everything to lose?
Thoughts of me on my death bed with no one to wish me fairfarren into another life instead of another world?
Thoughts of never seeing my Tarrant ever again?
Will I ever see my Tarrant again?
What gives me the right to call him my Tarrant, he has other very close friends?
Why am I constantly thinking thinking these thoughts and still aching to go back?
Why do I pray every night to a non-existent god that they still want me to come back?
Do the heavens get a kick out of my misery?
Why must my only happiness come to me after I see myself bleed?
Why must the blade be my only salvation?
Why must the blade be my only friend in this world?
The only one who listens to and comforts me?
Why must I be a slave to my addictions?
Why must I have a cup of tea after each time I cut?
Each time I bring self-harm?
Why must I write letters to my dear Hatter when I know he will never receive them?
Why do I not send those letters even when McTwisp begins to come for mail to go to Underland, but I write letters to everyone else?
Why must McTwisp bring me a letter from dear Tarrant today saying that he misses me?
Why must that letter be stained with mine a his tears?
Why does he ask me if all is well in that letter?
Why do I send a letter to him saying that all is well and I will be returning to Underland soon?
Why do I say that Overland is nothing without him?
Why does his replying letter say that he is waiting for me to return home?
Why must he say return home to him, instead of saying us or just home?
Why must I wear a hat each and everyday since I left?
Why must whenever snow falls I do not allow anyone to go outside as to disturb and destroy the beauty of white?
Why must I, in the middle of the night, watch my blood stain the snow?
Why must all of my questions go unanswered by the ones I wish to ask?
Why must my sub-conscious fill my head with countless possibilities they will answer those questions?
Why am I taking this with me as long as my pen to Wonderland?
Is Tarrant going to welcome me with open teapot for the third time?
Is dear Hatter going to be happy?
Why must I miss him so?
Is that why I jumped down the whole yet another time, just earlier than planned?
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I am not done! I will continue this and I would highly appreciate if you reveiwed, it makes me update alloot faster. I am only saying this because if I don't fanfcition will get mad at me if I don't say this sooo... I do not own Alice in Wonderland or any of it's characters, and if you have suicidal thoughts or actions please consult with a counsler, parent, or gaurdian nag nag nag. Yay!
