Warning: This fic is, by all means, a joke. Something to make fun of. In other words, a PARODY. Hence, why I am the PARODY KING. And one other note, this fic is even more insane than most Harry Potter stories. That's why it's unbelievably BAD. Oh, and BTW, bad grammer and spelling is ment to be.
THE DEATH OF HARRY
THE WORST FANFICTION YOU HAVE EVER READ
Once apon a time, Henry James Potter was waddling to his seventh year at Hogwarts.
"YEAH!" Said Harry as he walked into the "Hog Hall" AKA the Hogwarts eating place.
"Sup?" Said Ron, to Harry.
"Sup?" Said Harry, to Ron.
"Nothin." Said Ron, to Harry.
"Nothin at all, man." Said Harry, to Ron.
"Knuckle me!" Said Ron.
The two slapped hands and knuckled each other.
"Who's the "Chosen One"?!" Harry asked Hermione, slapping her hand.
"You, you hottie!" Said Hermione, smiling.
"Who's gunna knock down old YKH someday?"
"The one who's as slim as a wand, as hot as his firebolt, and as slick as the girl's bathroom after Moanin's floaded it! Harry, my man!" Said Hermione, giving a thumbs up.
"YKH?" Ron asked, dumbly. "Who's Moanin'?"
"Moanin' Murtle" Said Hermione, shaking her hips. "YKH You Know Who."
"How was your mommy's and dadyo's graveyard?" Asked Ron, grabing Faucks the Phoenix and putting him in his stew. "What's great about phoenixs." He said. "Is you can eat them over and over again!"
"The graveyard was like a graveyard, man." Said Harry. "Nothin' much to see. Just a buncha dead dudes in their cothins' not sayin' nothin'."
"So they did say something?!?!" Said Ron, spitting out phoenix feathers.
"They didn't say nothin'." Said Harry.
"Exactly." Said Ron. "You said, "They didn't say nothin", meaning they must of said something because if they had said nothin', you would of said, "They didn't say anything" or "They said nothin"."
"Your screwy, man." Said Harry. "They didn't say nothin! By da way, how was da wedding?"
"Terrible." Said Ron. "When Bill was told he may kiss the bride, he instead ate her!"
"Sick, man!" Said Harry.
"No," Said Ron. "You don't understand, he really ate her. She's dead now, dude! Dead! She's, like, totally Warewolf stuff now."
"Cool." Said Harry. "Wicked Awesome!"
"I think you've had too much pumkin joice." Said Ron, drinking a ton of whisky. "Your, like totally drunk or something."
The three were soon very drunk.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," They all sang, drunkenly. "I love ya! Love ya! I need ye! Need ya! All somthing something something I looooooooooooooooove you!"
"They were so drunk, they even sang the back up course." Said our narrator, Dobby the House Elf, a bed time stocking resting on one ear. "They were so drunk, they didn't go to bed. They instead stayed drinking well into the night."
"Hey, now" Sang Harry. "I'm an all star, I'm gunna get my show on, and get paid! Hey, now, I'm a ROCKSTAR, I'm gunna get my show on, I'm gunna get paid!"
"All that I sing, I sing drunkenly!" Sang Ron.
"Own-lay shootin' stars- Somebody once said I am so darn cool, I outto chill down Hawawhoo!" Sang Harry, drinking still more. "I said YEAH! Oh. BOO-YHEA! I AM SO DARN HOT I BET I COULD CAUSE GLOABAL WARMIN', TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He sang this part out of tune from the reast of the song.
Just then, someone walked into the room. It was Snape.
"SNAPE?!?!" Said Harry, his nostrolls flairing up so much they boiled over with beer. "I Shall get my revenge!" He shouted. "AVATA KADAVRA!"
But he was so drunk it actuely hit Ron in the back.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screamed Ron. "You killed me, man! You've slain me or whatever. I'm totally finished!"
Ron exploaded. Foam shot everywhere.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" Said Harry. "It's BEER FOAM! FOAM FROM BEER, BABY!"
"Shut up!" Said Snape. "It's time to die, Harry!"
"AVADA KADAVRA!"
Snape fell down, stone dead.
"Cool!" Said Harry, flopping down and inspecting the body.
The Body then desolved into...
"Dumbledore?!" Said Harry, shocked.
This didn't make much sense. How could Dumbledore be alive to use pollyjuice potion?
"And so, our story continues." Said Dobby.
