AN: This story was inspired by "No Good In Goodbye" by Jason Michael Carroll. There will be many similar phrases in this story, and that song. It's not my best but I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own KH. I don't own any of the songs quoted in this story. And I don't own Oreos.
Songs used in the story (I did not write them, I only listen to them):
"No Good In Goodbye", "Sorry", "Don't Go Away", "Green Eyes".
Warning: Some swearing, angsty, lots of song quoting…
No Good In Goodbye
"It's been two weeks, four days, thirteen hours, and eight minutes since I spoke to you. I can't take back the words that were said, I can't take back that night, but if it were possible, if I could, I would. I wouldn't have made you cry, I wouldn't have said goodbye, I would've stayed by your side.
"In all of this time, I've only thought of you, and what you mean to me. I realize now that you're my everything. You're the only one who puts up with my idiotic behavior. You're the only one who forgives me for all my wrongs. You're the only one who loves me for everything I am. You love every insane fiber of me. And I fucked it up. I'm sorry, I really am."
Roxas glared at the machine Axel's voice was coming from. Should I pick up? No, he hurt me. I have my pride. He sulked away from the machine and started talking to the empty room. "Giving up is easier than fixing this. I've always stuck with you Axel, but you hurt me real bad, this time. This isn't a tiny rip in the page; you've made confetti of our relationship. Confetti's not easy to put back together." Tears began to fall from Roxas' Cerulean eyes, "But I still love you. I can't live without you. Does that make it worth it?"
A knocking sound came from his front door before his brother stormed. The brunette, who looked very similar to Roxas, had an angry expression on his face. It wasn't the 'I'm gonna kill you' angry, it was more of a 'I've been worried sick' anger that caused Roxas to feel quite guilty. "We've been calling you for weeks Roxas! Mom's in tears, she's so worried about you."
"Sora, I don't feel like talking." Roxas mumbled as Sora took a look around the dark and gloomy living room. Roxas was looking dirty and unshaven in an armchair, and on the table next to him sat several empty chocolate ice cream cartons and several empty Oreo packages.
"Rox, you said it's over. You, not him. But you're sitting in here eating chocolate ice cream and Oreos, a habit he taught you to do when you're upset. He's an asshole, you said so. Get over him."
"He's not an asshole. He just doesn't always think before he speaks. And it's hard to not feel bad about a six year relationship ending."
"So why'd you end it?" Sora asked walking closer to his brother.
"Sora, I really don't want to talk."
"How long has it been since you took a shower, or shaved, or did anything other than mope?"
"I don't know. Sora, please leave."
"Fine, but if you don't start answering the phone, I'm gonna drag you out of here and give you to mom." The brunette declared before walking out the door. Then the phone rang and Roxas couldn't bring himself to answer it, he let the machine get it.
"Roxy, Roxas, please answer." Axel whined into the phone, "Please, I know you told me that we're done, but my heart is telling you're wrong. We're supposed to be together. You're still the one I'm reaching for when I wake up in the middle of the night. I think about you constantly. Leaving made me realize there's no good in goodbye, Roxy. I love you Roxy. Do you want me to sing? You used to love it when I sang to you.
"Cause everything inside, it never comes out right," Axel's beautiful voice sang through the machine and Roxas let his tears fall freely, "And when I see you cry, it makes me wanna die. I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about the things I said to you, and I know I can't take it back. I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round. And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry. Roxy I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." His voice broke as he hung up. Roxas wiped the tears from his eyes only to be replaced by more as he walked to the machine.
He was about to replay the message when his phone rang again and he waited for the machine to pick up. "Roxy." Axel had been crying, Roxas could hear it in his voice. It took a lot to make the redhead cry. "I got another song. Baby, are you even listening to me?" There as a pause before Roxas heard Axel singing again, and his heart melted, "I will think of you tonight, I will hold back all my tears, I've waited all these years. Please don't go away, you're making a mistake, you and I were meant to be, you opened up my eyes, and made me realize, now it's changing everything." Another pause and Axel's shaky voice was talking again. "Roxy, please don't give up on me, on us. It may seem easier but, but aren't we worth more than that. I know you're worth more than that to me. I'd got to the end of the earth for you, I'd die for you, I'd fight for you. Please Roxy, please say I mean more to you. Please tell me my hearts right, that w-were not o-over, R-roxy, I l-love you. Please don't go away, I can't live without you." Roxas could hear Axels quiet sobbing and the occasional 'sorry' through the machine.
Roxas tears fell to the machine. Axel can't live without me? It didn't seem like that two weeks, four days, and thirteen hours ago. But he's always been like that, hasn't he. He always speaks without thinking, and he doesn't usually mean the things he says. He still knows my favorite band is Buckcherry, be remembers I love his voice, he loves me enough to fight for me. I love him, I wanna fight for him too.
"I guess…I messed it up too much. You won't forgive me this time, and I don't deserve it. I love you Roxy, remember that. I'll always love you baby, goodbye." Axel said with a note of finality.
"Axel!" Roxas picked up the phone just as Axel hung up. He quickly dialed Axel's phone number, but it just kept ringing, the machine didn't even pick up. Shit! He and Axel had met in a hospital; both of them had failed to kill themselves. They had quickly become friends, and promised each other that they would never do it again. They would be together forever, theyd live to grow old together; they wouldn't end it all because they were depressed. They wouldn't do that because they would always be together. No Axel, I want to fight for you. You can't leave me.
Roxas threw a coat over himself. He didn't care that all he was wearing were pajama pants, or that he hadn't showered or shaved in days, he didn't care that his bare feet pounding on the pavement was hurting him. As he jumped into his Jaguar his only thought was that he was fighting for Axel. They weren't done yet. They hadn't grown old yet. And they were meant to be together. They had to be. It wouldn't hurt so much if they weren't meant to be together. It wasn't over, it wasn't time for goodbye.
Roxas squealed into a parking space and ran out of his car and up to Axel's brother's apartment. He banged on the door fiercely but no answer came. Giving up on the knocking, he began to look for they key Reno had given him and Axel on his key chain. God fucking damnit, why do I have so many keys. When he finally found the right key he managed to get it in the slot on the first try and threw the door open. Axel wasn't in the living room or the kitchen so Roxas to the guest bedroom, petrified of what he'd find.
Roxas turned the knob and hesitantly pushed the door open. His eye quickly found his redhaired boyfriend in the corner of the room, tears were falling over his diamond tattoos under his closed eyes. But Roxas knew if those eyes were open they'd be the most beautiful green in the world. They were the green eyes Roxas saw when he woke up each morning, the eyes that told him 'I love you' every day, the eyes that spoke only to him. Only Roxas could understand those mysterious eyes, read that face, love that man.
As Roxas walked forward a little, he realized Axel hadn't heard him because he had headphones on and the heavy metal was so loud that Roxas could hear it clearly. A few feet away from Axel sat an abandoned knife. Roxas looked to Axels arms, which were hugging his knees to his chest, and was relieved to see an absence of blood.
He carefully continued to walk forward and kneeled in front of Axel, without disturbing him. He sat silent for a moment, just staring at Axel. He looks so sad. Then he looked around the room and saw chocolate ice cream cartons and Oreo packages littered all over it. Turning back to Axel, Roxas reached his hand out and pulled the headphones down. Those brilliant green eyes shot open to look into Roxas' tear-filled blue ones. "You mean more to me. Your heart is right, we're not over, and we're not even close to being finished. I love you too, and I'm not going away. We were meant to be together." Roxas repeated Axel's words. "I love you too much to give up on us."
New tears fell from Axel's eyes as he wrapped his arms around Roxas and cried into his boyfriends shoulder. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, any of it. I love you so much Roxas."
"I love you too Axel, more than anything. I forgive you. We have so many years left together Axel." Roxas felt happy tears falling down his already wet face. This feeling, Axel's heart beating against his own, his arms hugging Roxas so close that they almost became one entity, comforting each other, forgiveness, love, they had so much love for one another, that was how it was meant to be. This was Roxas' place, in his lover's arms. This is where he wanted to stay for the rest of his life. There was no other place that he fit so perfectly.
Roxas pulled away and unwrapped himself from Axel's arms. The redhead watched him nervously as he flipped Axel's wrists over. Only scars, nothing new. Roxas brought his head down and placed a tender kiss on each of Axel's scars. "I couldn't do it." Axel whispered, and pointed to the knife, "I thought about it, but I made a promise to you. I couldn't break it Roxy."
"I'm glad you didn't. You're beautiful just the way you are." Roxas said before kissing another scar making his way up Axel's arm. When he reached his neck he whispered, "I didn't break my promise either." Then he captured Axel's lips in his. Their tongues danced a beautiful dance they'd been denied far too long, while their hands reacquainted themselves with each other's pining bodies. They'd been apart way too long and relief rushed through both of them as they desperately showed each other how much the other was missed in their passionate kiss.
When their lungs couldn't hold out any longer, they pulled apart and Roxas curled onto Axel's lap, while the red head's hand ran through his blond spikes and the other hugged him closer. As he sat in his lover's arms Roxas started to sing quietly to Axel. "Honey you are a rock, upon which I stand, and I come here to talk, I hope you understand. The green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you. And how could, anybody, deny you? I came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now I met you, and honey you should know, that I could never go on without you, green eyes." Roxas finished and Axel pressed their lips together again.
The warm embrace Axel held him in reminded Roxas how much Axel loved him and how much they meant to each other. It was quiet moments like these, when Axel held him, for no other reason than loving him, that Roxas knew, they would be together forever. They would fight for each other, they would grow old together, and they would love each other forever. That was how it was meant to be and that was how it was going to be.
AN: So this is a pretty short one'shot (I don't count lyrics in my word count). I don't think it was my best, but I've had it written for a few weeks and I don't know when I'll be able to upload something else. One of the reason's I don't like it so much is that there are a lot of song lyrics in it but the entire story was inspired by the songs, so I put them in to help show the emotions. Once again, these are the songs:
"No Good in Goodbye" by Jason Michael Carroll (and Jewel)
"Sorry" by Buckcherry
"Don't Go Away" by Buckcherry
"Green Eyes" by Coldplay
Thanks for all reviews and favorites.
