Title: Easy Loves Kept Like Pets
Rating: PG-13
Yuri Warnings: Asuka and Kazumi
Characters do not belong to me. I am just borrowing
What is it about her, Jun?
I've been trying to figure it out. What you want is so obvious to me, but you seem to deny that it's even there, singing in your blood. You do the same thing with everything you want, even me, but that's where I want you. I want you so on the verge of longing that you can hardly stand it. However, as possessive as I am of you, I'm still disappointed that you don't take some initiative with that pet of yours.
You lack courage. You lack drive. Your mind is weak and you're so repressed, even after I released the beast within you. Don't you think you might be due a little reward?
But, no, instead you throw yourself at men, little boys, who have no idea what to do with you. It's pathetic, Jun. It's sad.
I've been keeping tabs on your pet. She's so young, and you do seem to want something young.
Why is that?
Is it your want for more control in your controlled life?
If you take something young and ruin it, will it give you something sweet that no one your own age could?
Maybe.
I'm not sure I'll ever really know. I just know that you want her. You tense up when she walks into a room, or the slightest brush of contact between you. And she…I don't think you'd believe that sometimes, sometimes she does things quite on purpose, because she wants you, too.
The bunk beds, I think, were quite the stab at her little heart. The surveillance photos captured the look on her face quite nicely. You're so cruel, Jun, playing with her heart. It's part of what makes you so perfect. If you'd totally embrace that side of yourself, you'd be unstoppable. I think you could have everything you ever wanted, and I mean what you really want, not what you pretend to want. You're just afraid of losing your soul, and maybe your absolute repression is what keeps your soul within you.
Honestly, I think it's all rubbish. I think it's possible to embrace everything you are, even become greater than yourself and not become a complete monster. Doesn't total denial make you feel less than whole?
Ah well, it's not that important.
What is important is that your pet needs some attention before she goes off and does something ridiculous like you. She will, you know? She'll think she should just find some nice high school boy to take her out and feel her up in a parking lot. And, I honestly couldn't care less about what she does, because she's ultimately, completely unimportant. I only put minor effort into ensuring her protection and well-being because the last thing I need is for my Hunter J to have a complete mental breakdown.
You would, too. This early in the game, as I shape you and drive you into becoming what I want, you're still too fragile. Get stronger, Jun. Make me want you even more. I've such great things planned for us. Such a fate ready for you to enact, and I've no doubt that you'll accept it. You're already well on your way towards it, except that you seem to take steps forward only to step back again.
Your pet, Kazumi, she's upset. I've been watching her for fifteen minutes now. You must be ignoring her, or maybe you fought. I haven't checked the photos and tapes from last night yet. I suppose it could be anything. Being a teenager is never easy, but it's an important part of life. It's when we really decide what we should become. It's when I decided at least, and I'll grant you that no one, no one in the whole wide world is anything like me. I'm better, and I'm getting better all the time.
I think I'll go test the waters over where your girl is. She has a little spark. It's one of those lights that goes on and off, like the glimmer of a star. Is that what attracts you to her? Or is it not the light? Is it when she starts to fade that you really want her?
Do you know... I think you actually enjoy denying her, Jun. How delicious... And it would be just that if it didn't torture you, too.
If I walk casually by, I wonder if she'll notice me.
Ah, yes, she does. There is the light of recognition. But will she follow through? Will she play by the script I've written for this moment?
Nothing is ever certain, but I know what I want, at this very moment. I know how I want this to play out. I'm not afraid of what I want, Jun. Even you, who I do fear under certain circumstances, because of how awesomely powerful you are, I'm not afraid of wanting you, because you're mine. Every fiber of you is just waiting for me, and eventually I'll take it. Won't you be relieved then?
"Excuse me?"
There she is. Right on time. I almost got away.
I'll stop.
I'll turn.
I'll look at her, maybe just a little coldly.
And how unsurprising that she's a little intimidated. How typical, that look in her eyes.
"Yes."
"Are you-You were at the restaurant? You know Jun?"
She's being polite, but I can feel beneath that timid question and the fear, she hates me. She hates me because she knows I'm the reason you've been acting differently. And she's right.
"I do."
Your girl is so easily flustered, but she's keeping herself from sparking off at me. She can't help it. You know, it's bit like watching you sometimes. Is that why?
"Are you a…photographer?"
"After a fashion. I like pictures."
She hesitates. She thinks. She wants to continue and isn't sure how.
"I have a place not far from here…" I say and stare into those ordinary eyes of hers- and yet- and then continue to draw her in, "Or we can sit at a café?"
She blinks and shakes her head. She looks at me again and that spark's been turned on for an instance. On and off, she's like shooting stars, Jun, is that it? When she's bright, you can wish on her before she falls into darkness? How…quaint…
"There isn't anything I want…at a café."
She's daring me. She dares you all the time. I know the look. The pictures don't really hold a candle to it in real life. How do you resist her, Jun? How do you say no?
I nod and turn away. I walk and she's at my heels like a lost cat. Your kitten should learn not to follow people home.
I haven't lied to her either. I do have a place that isn't far away. We've arrived quickly. Probably more quickly than she thought we would. I could let her escape me. I could just toy with her for a while. I could break her under me and leave her trembling and whispering your name.
She doesn't want me, Jun. She wants you. Even now, she's following me to the elevator because of you. Because she wants to know, and I could tell her, I could tell her everything you're hiding. I won't, but only because that's not what I want.
The doors shut, and she looks at the floor.
"I'm Asuka." I say. "Lan Asuka."
"I'm-"
"Kazumi. Yes, I know."
The doors open, and she hesitates but continues to follow me.
The room is there in case something goes wrong. It's there as a sort of safe house. There isn't anything in the room that would cause alarm. It's Spartan. It's a little cold and smaller than I would normally agree to, but there are some compromises I am willing to make.
She looks around casually. She has that kitten curiosity. She really is a pet, isn't she? If I weren't here, she'd go from place to place examining the set up. If I were less subtle, I could ruin her right now, but I want to give her a chance. I want to see if she deviates from my plan, but already…already, I can tell, she's going to fall right in line. She's so human, Jun. You and I, we're so much better than that.
The spark burns bright again when she turns to face me. I haven't moved from the door, but then I saunter away from it. Moving to the couch. There's a clear path between me and the door. There's a clear choice, but I already know what she wants.
Should I play with her? Should I just tease her the way you do?
Oh Jun, you're so very terrible to her, but… I'm far worse.
I sit down. She joins me and is just far enough away that I would have to make an effort to bring her closer. This…is going to be fantastically easy.
Hands in her lap and eyes down she's quite determined now.
"So…are you…" She shuts her eyes. On again off again, bright then dark…how quickly she falls. "Are you and Jun-"
"No."
The kitten looks up at me, wide-eyed and lost, but only for a moment.
"Are you?" I ask, knowing the answer.
"No."
"But…you'd like to be?" The grin can not be helped.
"Maybe."
Well, that was surprising. I didn't expect that. Omissions that aren't omissions are awesome things.
"I…I should really go." She says, and doesn't move.
"You should." She won't. She can't. You've teased her so much, Jun. Right now she's not sure she believes me, even though I told her the truth about you and I. I love how that works. It works to my complete advantage.
She looks up at me. I can almost read her mind. She wants to find a piece of you reflected in me. She wants to discover something that would make us mirror images, but she can't. The difference is as plain as day. Even so, she starts to burn bright with the intake of a breath and stands up.
I stand with her.
She's a petite thing.
Is that why you won't give in to what you want? Are you that afraid of destroying her?
But you won't, not like that though. When you destroy this girl, and believe me, you will be responsible for destroying her, it will be because you refused to give in and take what was being offered you.
"I lied." She says and steps closer to me. "I want to be hers."
I lean down to whisper in her ear, "She won't take you."
"I know."
And your Kazumi, your little pet, she turns to kiss me. And I let her have this one soft moment, because everything that comes after this is going to leave marks, scars that might never be seen, but can never be erased.
End.
