Eagledawn (me): It's time for the DR. LEAFPOOL SHOW!

Leafpool: Hello and welcome to the Dr. Leafpool show. I, Leafpool, will help you with your personal problems! Our first patient…guest is Jaypaw!

Jaypaw: I hate everyone and have problems with everyone. GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? HUH? DO YA? WANNA TUSSLE?

Leafpool: …excuse me. SQUIRRELFLIGHT, YOUR KID'S GONE NUTS!

Squirrelflight: Ugh, I knew I never should have kits with Brambleclaw because now Jaypaw's all emo, just like his grandfather!

Brambleclaw: How was I supposed to know he would get all emo? It's not my fault!

Jaypaw: Is it your fault that I'm…hopelessly…in love…with…CLOUDTAIL! FOOL! (scampers away)

Squirrelflight: …

Brambleclaw: …

Squirrelflight: …it's your fault he's gay.

Brambleclaw: But how is—

Squirrelflight: But why does it—

Brambleclaw: Quit cutting me off!

Squirrelflight: Quit cutting ME off!

Leafpool: …go get a room, for StarClan's sake!

Brambleclaw: (looks at Squirrelflight)

Squirrelflight: (looks at Brambleclaw)

Brambleclaw: Okay, suits me fine!

Squirrelflight: Yep, me too.

(they walk off together)

Jaypaw: I hate you.

Leafpool: (sweatdrop) And that's all the time we have today folks! See you next time on the DR. LEAFPOOL SHOW!

Jaypaw: I hate you too.

Eagledawn: (sweatdrop)