December 25

Hello little book,

Sam gave me to you for Christmas. He said I can write down my thoughts and feelings; Dean rolled his eyes a little, but I think it is a good idea.

This is my second Christmas with the Winchesters; I like them. Sam is very kind and understanding, and Dean…Dean tries. But one does not recover from going to hell easily, and he is strong for his little brother. He reminds me of Gabriel, making jests to cope with all his sufferings, but willing to die for his brother. I miss Gabriel.

December 26

I had a little ink pen that was very pleasing to write with… I could click the tip in and out, which provided hours of amusement for me. I was very curious about its mechanics and how this trick was pulled off, so I tried taking it apart, but it burst in my hands and now I am covered in black ink. I told Dean and he rubbed his forehead, rolling his eyes again. I worry about Dean's headaches sometimes; every time I talk to him, he seems to have one.

Now I have what he calls a "ballpoint" pen, which writes just as well but merely has a cap and does not click. I will try not to let this turn of events take away my Christmas joy. But I miss my little clicking pen; you, oh ballpoint pen, have helped me write what I believe to be a decent eulogy for it.

December 28

How do humans get used to recording dates? In Heaven we had no such need, but now I must keep up with all the days and nights when humans sleep and whatever the "weekend" is. Also, I find it a bit blasphemous that four days of the week were named for Norse deities. But I suppose I am not in charge of humanity, if that is the petty way in which they must keep time.

Also, Dean got me a new clicking pen.

December 29

Dean yelled at me this morning. He is always startled to find me standing over him in the morning, but how am I supposed to be his angel if I do not watch over him while he sleeps? Why does that bring him frustration instead of peace? I feel very discouraged.

December 31

Tomorrow will be a New Year. Again, I am impressed with Sam and Dean's ability to keep up with the dates. They bought wine, cheese, grapes, and things called pepperoni and crackers, which are apparently new types of bread and meat. Sam explained that we will stay awake until midnight to see a glass ball fall in the television. I asked if that would hurt the television, but they said the event will take place in New York City.

Once again, the human world confuses me.

January 1

It is a new year, or so I'm told. Sam and Dean are very tired; Dean is emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet in our hotel room. Sam says that is what happens when people drink too much alcohol. He himself looks very worn. If this is what "partying" does to humans, why do they do it?

But I must admit, I very much enjoyed last night. We eat the pepperoni and cheese on the crackers, which it turns out is a very pleasant taste. I was very excited to watch the ball drop and relieved to find that, even as they said, it did not harm the television set. And they manage to pull this off every year, and always find the television we are watching from! Perhaps mankind is more intelligent than I give them credit for.