Adult Monsters
A Fifth Grade Monsters fanfic
By Auburn Red
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They belong to the writing talents of Mel Gilden (and once Anne Hodgman) and the illustrating talents of John Pierard as well as Avon Camelot. I however created Gwyn Wyrd and Marie La Nouvelle and their families as well as the ideas of where these kids went as they grew older. This is for entertainment and to demonstrate my love for a YA book series that was a huge part of my childhood and deserves to be remembered and revived.
Introduction: Fifth Grade Monsters….And Beyond!
Now this will require an explanation of the original source. Fifth Grade Monsters was a YA series published by Avon Camelot and was written mostly by Mel Gilden and illustrated by John Pierard (One book was written by Anne Hodgman). The series lasted from 1987-1992 and was 15 books long. The titles were M is for Monster, Born to Howl, There's a Bat Wing in My Lunch Box, Pet of Frankenstein, Z is for Zombie, Monster Mashers, Things That Go Bark in the Park, Yuckers!, The Monster at Creep's Head Bay, How to be A Vampire In One Easy Lesson, Island of the Weird, Werewolf Come Home, Monster Boy, Troll Patrol, and The Secret of Dinosaur Bog.
I have created a blog article of the series and the individual books in the series including inside jokes, trivia, references, favorite passages and quotes. The link is here . ?m=1
The stories focused on Danny Keegan, a normal fifth grade boy and his closest friends who were all monsters in the Universal movies tradition. There was Howie Wolfner, who became a werewolf at will and during thunderstorms, C.D. Bitesky, a vampire, who could turn into a bat and sucked on something called Fluid of Life from a thermos (which was more than likely a substitute for blood), and Frankie and Elisa Stein, twin Frankenstein monsters, who had bolts coming out of their necks and could shoot electricity from their fingertips. As the series continued, other members were added to their group, Danny's younger sister, Barbara who at first was afraid of the monsters but becomes Elisa's friend, Ryan Webler a young boy with ambitions to become a journalist, and Gilly Finn, a Show Tunes singing mermaid with fins on her ankles and wrists.
Most of the stories are about the gangs encounters with school bully, Stevie Brickwald and his lackies class clown, Jason Nickles and school gossip, Angela Marconi and encountering one adventure after another often involving other monsters such as ghosts, witches, sea serpents, zombies, blobs, trolls, and sometimes their own relatives.
The series is quite humorous filled with mostly clever and some cringe-worthy plays on monster movies and other speculative fiction. (There is a wax museum owned by a man named Mr. Price, as in Vincent; a movie theater owner named Abbey Carfax drives a van that she calls "Helsing," the Keegens have a dog named Harryhausen, after Ray Harryhausen the special effects designer and so son and so forth).
But the most interesting aspects to the series is the subtext of prejudice, racism, and immigration issues. Similar to how the 'Toons in Who Framed Roger Rabbit are treated as a minority, the Fifth Grade monsters uses this odd premise to discuss real world issues.
In many of the books (particularly in There's a Bat Wing…. And Monster Mashers), the monster kids become stand-ins for many immigrant groups and minorities that come to America only to find racism and prejudice from the locals. Monster movies are looked upon by the monster kids about as favorably as many modern African-Americans would look at the silent film, Birth of a Nation. In one book, C.D. and the other kids give oral reports about how "in England-in America-In Transylvania all over the world it seems people look badly at others who are different." In another book, a group reminiscent of the Hitler Youth is formed against supernatural creatures.
In these fics 20 years have gone by and the kids have grown up, but have still remained close friends and companions. Danny Keegan inspired by his encounters with his monster friends has become a writer of horror/sci-fi stories and television shows, currently writing episodes for an anthology series called, The Outer Zone. (naturally an expy of the Twilight Zone in which its creator/host will be more than familiar). :D
His sister Barbara is finding modest success in the world of soap operas and teen dramas, currently playing a Gothic girl in a teen drama, Gorgeous A's but having some issues with her egocentric co-stars.
C.D. took his father's Stitch in Time Tailoring Service a step higher and has become a fashion designer of clothing that he calls Vlad Wear, which is largely worn by the Goth and Neo-Romantic crowds.
Howie Wolfner has put his werewolf senses to good use to become a private investigator with his own firm, Full Moon Investigations, particularly specializing in missing children and adults.
Frankie Stein long discovered his talent for electronics and has used them to become a video game and electronic toy designer. Elisa Stein, works with her brother as his "spokesperson" but may have other ideas to demonstrate her independence!
To no one's surprise, Ryan Webler is a journalist currently working for the Brooklyn Bugle, a small newspaper that mostly covers rich peoples' parties and press releases so he has some ideas about bigger stories.
Gilly Finn is currently a Broadway singer/actress making her way out of the chorus line and beginning to play leads such as naturally Ariel in the Little Mermaid.
In high school, the gang encountered two new members of their fold: Gwyn Wyrd and Marie La Nouvelle. Originally from Scotland, Gwyn is the second of three sisters in a witch family and now she and her sisters have created a series of "magically enhanced" health and beauty products to help women and girls recognize their inner beauty and strength. Like her sisters and the rest of their family, she knows a thing or two about casting spells and flying at night via broomstick.
Marie is from a family of Haitian voudou practitioners/zombies and she is now a folk artist, mostly a painter and sculptress with works that detail daily life in Haiti. While Marie behaves normally for the most part there are times when she goes into a "Zombie trance" and attacks everything in front of her. Some salt sprinkled on her brings her back to normal.
The gang has also found love with each other. Barbara and Frankie are beginning to discover deeper feelings for each other than "Danny's little sister" and "Elisa's brother."
While in high school, Danny and Gilly briefly dated even attending prom together, Danny for a time didn't notice that Elisa had developed feelings for him beyond friendship. Finally, Danny discovered his own feelings for Elisa had increased.
As for Gilly, she and Ryan had begun dating as well and were the first of their group to get married celebrating their first year of holy matrimony.
Howie Wolfner and C.D. Bitesky developed feelings for Gwyn and Marie, the new additions to their group and Howie and Gwyn are a couple and C.D. and Marie are also together.
Of course as adults the kids still have to deal with the specters of prejudice and racism becoming more prominent now that their former archnemesis Stevie, now Stephen, Brickwald is a City Council Alderman and has his designs set on the Senate. He and his wife, news commentator/gossip columnist, Angel Marconi-Brickwald have not changed a bit. They just have a larger arena to practice on using legislation and smear campaigns to attack the monster gang.
I hope this gave a good explanation on the original series and how these fics will progress. Soon we will go on with the show! :D
