Now I know what you're thinking Dawn you why are you posting a new story when you never update your other ones? Well my dear readers I was bored and I wanted to do one of the easiest fanfics I have ever seen.

Not only is this is a drag and drop fic but I am using expies to. What could possibly go wrong?

After watching Death March to a Parallel Rhapsody and having been a particular fan of Sword Art Online (yes I realize it's deficiencies) seeing another group using a pretty much Kirito in a pretty much Kirito fashion I came to the conclusion why do we not just use Kirito. Hence this was born.

I will be trying to stick fairly close to the Death March source materiel but since we will be using Kirito the researching of stuff and how he sees and goes around things will naturally start creating divergences.

For example Satou is a pretty hands off in general and tries to be a distance fighter when he has to fight. While also when he does get into close range fights he relies on his skill levels to carry him through.

Kirito on the other hand is or was in this case very much a gamer. He will try to push himself as much as possible and holding himself back will probably be more of a problem. Next chapter will probably be me trying to set him up for a more 'relaxed' game style then he has been used to. Right spoiler or something.

With that enjoy whatever I named this.

Also First Post/April Fools.

~X~X~

"I OWN NOTHHHHHINNNNNNG" ~ Every fanfic author ever.

~X~X~

One man versus 300 level 50 ish Lizard men. At times like this there is only one thing to say.

"Why me?"

~O~O~

Now it may come as something of quandary as to how I ended up here. To be fair I have no clue but let's go back to a simpler time and start there.

After getting out of Underworld things seemed to be going well. I finally made it out of high school without having to save anymore souls from a simulated reality. As odd as that may sound it honestly surprised me due to there up until that point reoccurring nature.

I ended up going to America for college with nothing spectacular happening and then getting a job in Japan.

Through all of this Asuna did what she did best. Scary away other girls (except one somehow) who became interested in me. She also made it through college with a business degree and we were set to be married.

At this point I would like to point out that it didn't happen.

Rika pointed out to Asuna on one of their 'playdates' that me being a programmer/hardware engineer would mean I would be able to spend approximately no time at home. This didn't make Asuna happy. She began to try and push me away from the only thing I really loved aside from her.

I currently regret my decision.

Being the idealist that I was at the time, I tried to convince her it would work and with the job I had it was. She still wanted me to quit it though, and find something else.

It was at that point that I realized something. Asuna was always 'right'. It wasn't like with my other friends that happened to be girls who were just usually right where I could accept it and move on and then bring it up jokingly later. No she habitually had to be right even with evidence to the contrary.

It was when that knowledge hit me that she said she was leaving until I saw sense.

The next year was a blur as Rika, Klien, and my remaining friends tried to put me back together.

By the end of it I had lost my dream job and had somehow been able to convince a mobile app game company to pick me up.

My days were now what Asuna feared. Out of all of the programmers that weren't slackers I had the most free time, which wasn't saying much. I had lost five goldfish from starvation before I got the auto feeder for them. 40 hour workdays will do that to you.

The unreasonable deadlines for things that kept getting changed on the whim of a boardroom were maddening.

"The games to easy."

"Now the games to hard."

"How about we give them a special item to clear it?"

Or

"The players have too much storage limit it for better balance."

"Turn the storage limit off for the beta."

What is the purpose of the beta then? Do you want me to give you an infinite plus 1 sword of smiting to?

It was at the end of one of these 40 hour workdays that I grabbed my sleeping bag out from under my desk laid down and fell asleep.

~O~O~

When I woke up I was in a familiar environment. Not so much the red rock canyons although they did remind me of four floor of Aincrad in the beta or some of the maps in GGO. No there was a heads up display in front of me.

Checking quickly I couldn't actually touch it but I could interact with it by concentrating on different parts. Making this a bit more complex than any of the menus I used to use when I had time to play games with my friends.

My listed equipment was what I had had on me that day. I had four items in storage one Search Entire Map and three Meteor Showers. My level was 1 and while I had a good number of available skills I had no skill points to put in them.

The items I had on hand seemed to point that I was in the game I was working on last because adding those to make level one beatable to non-obsessive gamers was the last thing I had done on that. Leaving me with the regret of fixing that item duplication bug.

This left the question of how I was stuck in a mobile app?

Not really knowing where I was and looking for clues I opted to forgo earning the title Haxer and used my Search Entire Map. In the top left of my vision a memo appeared briefly saying Learned Skill: Search Entire Map. After checking my skills to see that yes I had learned it but still had no levels in it. I checked my map.

While I don't regret my decision the phrase ignorance is bliss does come to mind.

This brings us to my current lot in life.

"Why me?"

Accidently catching the attention of commander of the Elite Lizardmen I moved to hide behind an out cropping of rocks as he signaled his men to pull out there bows. The next few moments of my life were taxing mainly due to the sheer number of arrows flying around me and the fact that they were gouging out the rock around me. Quickly going into my menu I had hit one of my Meteor Shower's and hoped for the best. After 15 seconds and way to much hope I hit the other two hoping that at least they would work.

Sprinting out of my crumbling cover I screamed to myself. "Why did I forget to actually program those?"

It was at this point that I heard it. The inhumane scream of something flying past me. Looking up I saw the most beautiful thing I had seen in a long time. Large flying space rocks. Right those have a delay after casting.

I also realized that I needed to run faster due to where it looked like they were going to hit the shockwave might still affect me. Ducking behind another outcropping the sound of explosions hit me just about the same time as the shockwave.

It was a while later that I opened my eyes warily trying to shack off what could have been a concussion. Working my way to my feet I begin my search for the thing that all gamers instinctively crave loot. The sound of metal scrapping against rock caught my attention as I worked my way towards the cliff face.

Seeing a scaled and helmeted head cross the horizon I start moving backwards going over my options. I am unarmed and my level is only 310 therrr…

A quick check at what is apparently a log of my events on the top left of my vision the list had gotten a lot longer listing all of the things that I had killed. I am going to have to work through that soon 300 level 50s should not give me that kind of xp.

Having more options then I previously supposed I firm up my stance as his head makes it over the edge allowing him to spit the short sword he was carrying in his mouth out. Pulling himself up the rest of the way he kicks the blade over to me as while pulling out a spear and getting in his own stance.

Slowly picking up the blade I look at his status.

The fact that he is still standing is surprising to a miraculous extent because I can barely see the red of his heath bar. He lunges at me as I try to get to the side breaking my guard a brief searing sensation crossing my check as I reach up to check it my fingers gain a red liquid on them.

Out of all of the 'games' I have played over the years none have really ever done blood. You could lose an arm and never have to worry about bleeding out. Aincrad in all of its scariness gave you that arm back after ten minutes even without a potion. Some parts of what this was, however game like they may have been were real.

Looking up I was forced to dodge again as the Elite Lizardman Commander attacked. Instead of just hanging back this time I pushed under his strike using what little 'muscle' memory I still had from all of my previous experiences to try and pulling off a semblance of a Horizontal.

I slide to a stop while turning around, locking eyes with him respect filling them as his body broke into polygons.

Confused by the sudden change I notice four new items in my adventure log.

Skill Gained: One Handed Straight Sword

Defeated: Elite Lizardman Commander

Event: Cleared the Valley of Dragons

All loot moved into storage

I guess that makes sense.

Checking my stats again and seeing that they were maxed out I moved onto looking at my skills they are still empty but I now have 3100 points to apply. Seeing this I fill out both my Search Entire Map and Meteor Shower as well as a couple other combat related ones.

Using Search Entire Map I quickly find out that I am the last living thing in my current area. Seeing this I quickly hit Meteor Shower to see how this one varied from the previous one I used. A quick check showed that it used around a third of my MP after the twenty second delay the rumble of the space rocks approaching causing me to look up from my menu.

Those are a lot bigger then I remember. It was at this point that I started running as fast as I could. I had moved extremely fast in a few of my previous games, I was the fastest flyer out of everyone in ALO mainly due to the fact that there was only an acceleration cap with no such thing as wind resistance. Never had I moved this fast on foot though. Moving at a speed where I felt like I could almost skip the Grand Canyon if I tried. Something that I had to test a couple of times in my mad scramble.

The crashing and rumbling of all the now rubble pushing me to try and run faster. The heat on the bottom of my shoes gives out as the soles peel off leaving my feet to the rough cold stone. I am almost at the edge of the map but the tsunami of rock and dust nipping at my heels pushes me to run faster. As I cross the barrier between zones it almost feels like breaking through the surface of water probably wouldn't be as bad if I was walking but the physical shift trips my up as I start tumbling end over end. Looking back behind me I see the wave hit the barrier as it holds it back.

So there is an actual barrier between different regions. That's new.

Grabbing a different pair of shoes out of my storage I started looking for something else to wear in order to blend in better. Finding a black cloak and pants I habitually equipped them. Doing one more map check, the Soldiers Stronghold stood out.

Dusting off my pants I headed out.

~O~O~

The trip to the strong hold went smoothly not feeling pressed for time I went at a fairly leisurely place only running when I felt particularly bored.

This gave me time to sort through my adventure log, items, and skills lists fully. This gave me an idea of some of the things that I had accidentally done with in my first ten minutes of this game. Which was defiantly a personal best beating out the old kill an entire high level scouting party with starting gear.

Apparently I had killed an Ancient Dragon God. With the death of so said dragon along with the many other dragon and dragon type units my completely stupidly high level can now be explained. It was really bothering me how I got so high defeating only 300 units of around a 50 level usually that would get me into the high 40s maybe but the dragon makes it make sense. The more you know. This gave me the fun titles of Enemy of Dragons, Dragon Slayer¸ and last but not least God Slayer.

The items from these endeavors now also made a lot more sense, these included numerous Holy Items including Excalibur, an even larger number of fantasy style items such as Skin of Never Ending Water, and a bordering on obscene amount of coins. The temptation of walking in to whatever passed as a club here and 'making it rain' had only briefly crossed my mind.

Having always been one to favor lighter armor, I did eventually equip a set of leather armor that fit fairly well underneath my wizard's cloak. As well as a shoulder bag of some sort called the Garage Bag to hide my inventory abilities. It might also help with my cover of being a merchant.

I should probably think that one through more considering I don't have a cart, or a horse.

The fort was small, at least I thought it was. Mainly consisting of a small barracks surrounded by walls with a singular tower for scouting. When I showed up and say the number of graves outside and the one recently deceased elderly solider inside I went and buried him along with his comrades.

After cleaning the place up and attempting a few minor repairs giving me the Carpentry and Masonry skills, I took a refreshing bath and moved on.

It was after another day or so of journeying that I found something else of interest. There was a regiment of soldiers averaging around a level 7 with a level 31 commander. Seeing that they were making their way to the capital of this area someplace named Seiryuu I opted to head in that direction myself. It was at this point that a spotted it on my map.

The fast moving red circle that I was seeing was listed as a level 30 Wyvern. Wanting to see it, I did the only thing I could think of at the time and jumped. This however was not one of my wisest decisions as while I did spot it, it also rammed me. Landing with grace of a wet cat being thrown through a tree I picked up a rock and threw it in retaliation piercing its wing.

Seeing that discretion was the better part of valor it retreated.

I was fine leaving it be until I checked the map again. It was heading towards the army.

"I should probably make sure that they are going to fine."

Sprinting through the trees I spotted the two groups in clashing. It seemed like I was worried for nothing. While overall not as strong as the Wyvern the soldiers were using fairly good tactics and while the majority of the arrows were being deflected some were getting through. Also any time the Wyvern tried pushing in to close they were there with a wall of shields and spears to keep it from getting a foot hold and pushing it back up. This however was not taking into account the mages.

While not using what I would think would be extremely effective attack magic they were offering an amazing amount of support. Cushioning the blows of their opponent when it pushed in. Forcing it to the ground allowing their heavy hitters to do massive amounts of damage with swords and axes. There was even the occasional Lightning bolt. Leaving me content to just sit and watch.

Straining my ears I could make out the orders their commander was giving them, putting skill points into the newly acquired Shigan language. It was this that gave me the first clue that was something was about to go wrong as the commanders voice which had been a dull roar up until this point straight out screamed to pull back and protect the mages right before the dragonoid dashed faster than I had seen up to this point before rushing the three mages smacking one as they barely got an Air Cushion up reducing the strength of the blow and thankfully preventing actual contact.

That was still not enough as the female mage went flying into the air hearing a finale casting of Lightning Bolt along with the new spell Resist Fall I relaxed slightly before realizing that while her vertical speed had dropped dramatically her horizontal speed was still enough to kill her if she hit something wrong.

Sprinting out of my position I had to start sprinting up the side of a cliff in order to catch her before she hit it. Hooking my arms around her back and knees before cushioning the blow of the cliff with my knees I landed on a root that was growing out of the cliff face.

Seeing her eyes flutter open I said the one thing that came to mind, "I suggest not looking down."

Looking down I saw a wonderfully crafted bow pointed right at my head by one of her solider friends and double checking myself there was nothing beneath me. Who designed this map and what is with the random placement of cliffs?

Not fearing a sixty foot drop as much as that arrow I did the only sensible thing I could think of taking one step forward I fell as the girl in my arms tried squeezing the life out of me. Hah I love high stats.

"Resist Fall" that works to.

Landing back on solid ground I let her down, standing on shacking knees she looked up at me like I am some sort of crazy person. "What were you thinking?"

"That I didn't want to get shot be an arrow." Stepping to the side as an arrow zoomed past where I was standing.

"She wouldn't have shot you! You were holding me."

"Ahh good point." Stepping to the side as another arrow zooms past right where I was standing.

"Thank you for saving me. I am going to need to take you in for questioning though."

"That's fine." Taking another step to the side as another arrow buzzed past me.

"LEAVE ZENA ALONE YOU BASTARD!"

Turning around gingerly as she tried to keep pressure off of her right foot. "I am brining him in for questioning!"

Moving forward I bring her right arm over my shoulder to give her some support to help keep weight off of her leg. Moving my head to the side as an arrow nicks my ear. "We will be over there in a bit."

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER YOU BASTARD!"

Par the course.