A/N This is a one scene Quick-Fic explaining what happened between Tali and Shepard before the events of ME3. I'm posting it here to share so I can get some ideas of how best to complete it. I feel it's missing something that I just haven't been able to see. I haven't run spell check so don't point that out. Hopefully the final draft is out real soon. Next chapter of Raela will be out soon too, I promise.

Hard Orders

"Shepard!" Tali stormed into the cabin, her data pad held tightly in her hand. "What's the meaning of this?"

The commander was startled and turned around in his seat. By how she entered and how she stood he knew what she was pissed about. He raised his hands to calm her down. "I can explain."

"You can explain how you're sending me back to the flotilla and I don't hear about it from you, but through an official correspondence!" She seethed.

"Tali, I…"

"Shepard," she spat. She then deflated a little. "Do you not trust me? Did you think I'd make a scene in front of the others?"

He stood up and approached her. "No, I do trust you and I know what your response would have been if I asked you."

"I'm not leaving you, Shepard. I belong by your side."

"That's what I knew you'd say." He stepped closer and gently held her wrists.

The cold quarian melted a little when he touched her. She really did like being held by him. "This ship is my home. Why would you think I'd want to be any place else?"

"The flotilla's the best place for you right now."

She shook her head. "Damn it Shepard! I don't want to be there. I want to be here, with you. I deserve to be a little selfish now. Especially after we…" She looked down bashfully.

"Tali." He pulled the data pad out of her hand and tossed it to his desk and placed her hands in his. "I don't know what's going to happen at this hearing. Three hundred thousand people are gone because of what I let happen. Someone has to answer for that. I might be put on trial, maybe incarcerated. It might be weeks. It might be months."

"I'll stay here. I'll wait for you." She said looking up at him.

He shook his head, let go of her and approached the fish tank. "What are you going to do? Sit around here, waiting by the window like some… pet waiting for its master to come home?" he said frustrated.

She pursued him. "That's what waiting is." she answered.

"You're not some useless person or some… toy that stays in the cabin for my desire. You're more than that to me!" He leaned his back against the tank and turned his head away from her.

Seeing him turn himself off from her was unsetting for her. But she knew from moment one that none of this was going to be easy. She was going to have to tough it out if she's going to get what she wants in life. She gently approached the tank and reached her left hand out to hold his arm. She raised her other hand and gently caressed his cheek.

He turned his head to face her. "I'm sending you back because you wouldn't be any help here. The Normandy will be in an Alliance dock and that's no place for a quarian."

"I'll find enough food to survive here. Plus, I know these engines better than anyone alive. "

He shook his head. "They will not care. They'd probably arrest most of the human crew for working for Cerberus. I don't want to know what they'd do to you."

She looked to the ground in thought, then shot her eyes back up to his. "There has to be a way. I'll go with you. Stay with you where ever they take you."

"Damn it Tali, this isn't a ship in the flotilla! Where I'm going there'll be no home for you, no food, no medicine! One look at your mask and all anyone will see is a target for the closest rock." He placed his hand on the side of her mask. "And when they find out about us…"

"I'm not ashamed of us." She quickly shot at him.

"Nor am I, but I can't risk anything happening to you." He traced his fingers down her jaw piece to her speaker light. "If I officially transferred you then we'd have a better chance at an alliance in the future between our species when the reapers come. If your people found out it was only to protect one of their own then they wouldn't look so kindly to that alliance. I had to make this decision as your captain, not your lover."

They both looked down to their hands and watched their fingers gently intermingling.

"What am I suppose to do while I'm there? I'm vas Normandy now, and I've chosen a…" she looked at him and hesitated. She made her decision about spending the rest of her life with him. She chose him to be her mate for life, but was unsure if he really wanted the same. "a…a path that would be difficult for other quarians to understand."

"It'd be best if you tried to get them to focus on the war with the reapers and not on a war with the geth." He said oblivious to her pause.

She looked down in shame. She should have told him how she truly felt about him, that she loved him. Maybe she will one day. She also wanted to desperately fight the geth. Her recent experience outside her suit and these last few days with Shepard both had put stronger feelings about winning her home world back into her mind.

The human peered into the quarian's mask and held her shoulder. "Tali, I know your feelings about the geth, but the reapers will kill all of us. I know you know this. No matter where the quarians make their home world, the reapers will destroy it."

"But Shepard…"

"Tali." He gently said. "I trust you to make the best decision for your people. I'll support you, whatever you choose, but remember what Legion said about coexistence? If it's possible or desirable for the creators. That means the choice for war or peace is in your hands. You're people have been punished enough, its time you have your home world back and the key is through the geth."

It was tough to hear, but she knew that what he said was true. She nodded. "I'll do my best."

Shepard smiled. "I never expect anything less from you." He held her hands again and looked through her mask and into her eyes. He then looked down. "I've arranged for a shuttle to take you to the fleet before we hit the next relay."

She tilted her head. "When is it due here?"

"In a couple of hours." He frowned.

Tali's shoulders dropped. "Hours?" She looked to the bed. It was still too soon to take her suit off, her fever hasn't truly passed yet.

"It'll be enough time to collect your things and say any last goodbyes." He said reassuringly.

Her hands found themselves in front of her waist and her fingers started to fidget. "But, but I need more time. With you."

"This is all the time we have for now." He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the elevator. When the door opened he let her enter and she turned around. She looked at him, but couldn't think of anything to say.

He placed his hand on her shoulder. "You go get your things in order and I'll come down soon and we'll have lunch together before you leave, okay?"

She just stood there, stunned. He mind was racing with questions, scenarios, bursts of emotion, but she couldn't get any of it to come out. "Um, o…okay." He smiled and backed away and the elevator door closed.

She walked backwards and hit the wall with her back. "Keelah, what just happened?" Her breathing got heavier and the room started to spin. She pulled her hands in front of her and looked down at them. Pull yourself together girl. Maybe he's doing this to make the parting easier? She covered her mask with her hands. "Then why does it hurt so much?"

The engineer took a deep breath, lowered her hands and looked forward. "Calm down, you're a big girl. You know him. You trust him. If he wanted to end this he'd tell you." She moved away from the wall and stepped toward the elevator panel and hit level four. "You have a job to do, he trusts you. Be strong."

As the elevator slowly made its way down she started forming a plan. Give him a chance to miss you. Head back to the Flotilla, do what you can there. When you have a chance in the future, get him to admit how much he wants you here. She adjusted herself as the elevator stopped and opened its doors. And if he doesn't? She walked out onto the engineering deck and turned back toward the elevator. She looked up to the roof as if she were looking at the first floor. "The next time I'm alone with you Shepard, I'm going to remind you how it's still totally worth it."