Woo resbang 2017! I would like to thank my awesome betas for dealing with me and doing an amazing job in making this fic readable: Proma, Silly, Makapedia, and Howl.

Also thank you to my wonderful artists, Pere and Sojustifiable, who did an AMAZING job drawing artwork for this fic


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Tenderly Touched by the Massively Muscled

Chapter 1

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Eruka plucked a flower growing from a thick bed of grass beside her. Frowning, she examined it, the blushing pink of the petals, the delicate stem, the sweet fragrance it produced. She then watched it hiss and recoil at her touch, shriveling and curling within itself until nothing remained but blackened char crumbling to dust. The remains blew from her hand with the next passing breeze.

She gave an unimpressed hum at the spectacle before falling back onto the grass, unconcerned as it, too, began to die at the first brush of her skin. The dying blades tickled her skin, but Eruka paid the sensation no mind as she stretched out her fingers and toes as far as they would go. She released the stretch with a contented sigh.

The foreign desire to laugh bubbled up in her chest, and Eruka couldn't fight the grin she gave the sky.

To love was certainly an interesting feeling.

If someone had asked her several years ago what it meant to truly love, Eruka would say that after several thousand years it was nothing special. But now she knew that she hadn't ever truly loved. Not really.

Her first breath hadn't been taken until she'd seen him.

As if in response to this thought, the sound of splashing water could be heard from afar. With an eager squawk, Eruka rolled onto her belly. Sure enough, a familiar body could be seen in the distance, splashing gaily through the river.

Rising to a crouch, Eruka lifted the hem of her dress and sped to a nearby tree. The bark crackled and recoiled from her touch as she leaned around the trunk, but Eruka ignored it, her eyes focused solely on the glistening, tan back in the distance. Her knees went weak at the sight.

"Hera's swaying teats, that's hot."

Something else was swaying too, and normally Eruka might feel guilty about spying on a naked, bathing person, but after several visits she'd soon learned that the man never wore a stitch on him.

Thank Hera for that.

With baited breath, she watched as he dunked down into the water and took the opportunity to creep forward to a tree several feet closer. Just as she stooped down behind it, he erupted from the stream, flinging back his head as water cascaded around him. Eruka dug her nails into the tree bark.

She'd found the glade by accident several years ago one day when she'd taken reprieve from the damning isolation of the underworld. The forest was tucked away, so completely concealed by magic that Eruka doubted even she would have noticed its existence had she not literally walked into its borders. It was curiosity - coupled with sheer boredom - that made her investigate the forest, and in it she'd found him.

He'd simply been standing there, glorious and golden, and suddenly her heart was his. Ever since, she had returned each day to the forest to gaze at him, heartsick and in love.

From that point on she had done everything in her power to get as much info as possible on him. As Hades, she got a certain level of intel from the souls who were drawn to her. A few humans had told her of a pervert who lived in a forest near them, infamously nude, who was under the protection of Zeus. The spirit of a tree taken by fire had complained about a nude human rubbing his rear against its bark to ease an itch. The flowers, however, were the most informative. They lavished him with praise, even when their demise was the result of his quite substantial behind sitting on them.

A swaying flower brushed against her calf, pulling her from her thoughts. At the sensation, Eruka turned just in time to see the decay take hold. Like every time a living entity touched her skin, the petals wilted and curled inward, shriveling until they crumbled and fell. Before the wrinkled remains could fall on her toes, Eruka tucked her feet beneath her dress, away from the evidence of her touch. She stared at the blackened husk a moment longer than necessary before pulling her gaze away.

There were far preferable things to focus on, she reminded herself, adjusting her crouch to ease the ache from her legs. When her eyes returned to the river, ready to feast on the tanned backside of the bathing Adonis, he was gone.

Eruka frowned, craning her head around the tree to see more of the river. Where had he…?

"Hello," said a voice, pleasant, if a bit husky.

Eruka screamed, swinging her leg out low and wide to connect with the shins of her attacker.

"Goddamn fucking shit!"

Eruka watched her Adonis fall in horror. It was as if he descended in slow motion, arms and other dangling bits waving in the air as he yelled in indiscernible wails. The water from the river danced from his swaying forelock, shimmering in the midday sun in a graceful arc. Even though Eruka was currently watching the most traumatic event in her long life take place before her eyes, she still took a moment to envy the water trickling down his abdomen.

He landed hard with a heaving grunt, and almost immediately flowers erupted from the earth beneath him as he floundered. They grew up to meet him, encircling his arms and legs, seemingly as eager to touch that golden skin as Eruka was.

Eruka remained frozen, leg still outstretched as she watched the man struggle with the flowers, looking much like a turtle unable to get off his back. She had single-handedly ruined any chance of them living happily ever after - and also having sex. Not that she ever planned on approaching him with either offer, but she certainly liked having the option open.

The man finally beat off the pink wildflowers enough that he could sit up, and Eruka's horror quickly turned to panic. She could fix this. She just needed to be calm and cool. And possibly flirty. Potentially sexy?

"How dare you sneak up on me!" Eruka paused, trembling fingers clenching and unclenching. That had come out wrong. "I'm sorry, you're very pretty. You have a nice...smile."

He slowly looked up at her, one eye black, the other red, and Eruka swallowed. His brows furrowed in question, and he watched her for a long moment, long enough that Eruka began to wonder if he was a bit daft. But then the bemused expression changed as his face bloomed into a wide smile, revealing sharp, white incisors.

"You think I'm pretty?"

"Yes," Eruka breathed, wringing her hands as she watched him uproot a flower that had been getting too familiar and toss it aside. Her eyes darted back to his, which hadn't left her. "I think you're lovely."

His grin widened. "Thank you."

Eruka considered herself a fairly calm individual, but his smile had her heart beating faster than it ever had before. Her palms tingled with sweat as she struggled for words through the dryness of her mouth. "I'm Eruka," she said.

"I'm Free."

"For dinner?" Eruka squawked before she could stop herself.

His grin turned crooked at her shrill question, revealing more of his sharp canines. "No, that's my name."

"Your name?"

"Something wrong with it?"

"No, nothing!" Eruka quickly assured. "I just... wasn't aware you had a name."

Free's smile grew suddenly sharp, his next words clipped. "Because Zeus didn't find it necessary to give me one?"

Eruka shook her head. "Because she took it from you."

"Ah." A noncommittal noise. "I'm assuming when we say Zeus we both mean the witch, Maba?"

Eruka, who hadn't known the two were on bad terms, croaked out an unsure "...Yes?" She'd known Zeus and Demeter had kept him here for some reason or another; however, she'd always assumed it was more of a voluntary seclusion.

Free crossed his arms and leaned back against a pillow of flowers, a bouquet of peonies, snapdragons, and lilies which had sprouted up to accommodate him. "Maba hasn't yet found a way to control free will, so I gave myself a new name."

"So why Free?"

He shrugged. "Optimistic thinking, I suppose."

From what he was saying, Free was a prisoner within the forest. It would explain why he never left, and also why the area was enclosed with such powerful magic. It didn't, however, explain why such knowledge had remained a secret. Or why he didn't wear clothing. As her mind sifted through the information, Eruka started to pull out the flowers that had grown near Free with her fist. Free, who had begun to speak again, paused to watch the blossoms decay with a raised brow. He didn't seem angry she was killing his flowers, merely curious.

"Anyway," he continued, pulling his eyes from the dead plants. "How did you get in here?" The unspoken 'and how do you get out' hung off the end of his words. "I've never seen anyone else enter this forest," he paused, "aside from her, of course."

Eruka watched him silently. The puzzle of his apparent imprisonment had dampened the strength of her nerves, but the reminder of who-and what-she was brought back a good deal of her anxiety. Clearing her throat carefully, Eruka looked away from his intent gaze.

"There are very few places I can't enter," she said in answer to his question. "Anywhere something can die, I can usually go."

Free's snort had her head whirling back around to face him.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine." At Eruka's devastated expression, he quickly amended. "Not that that's a bad thing. Dead things are great." His voice lowered conspiratorially, and he beckoned her closer, "If I'm being honest I would love it if every flower died, like, yesterday."

Eruka's brows furrowed, lowering her own voice. "But flowers seem to be...your thing."

He snorted, finally leaning back. "Not by choice. They're very... touchy." As if to prove his point, a purple blossom leaned over to rub its petals against his ass. Honestly, Eruka could relate. There was little she wouldn't give for a chance to grope him.

Which reminded her of something that had been niggling at the back of her brain. "I touched you," she said. "Earlier, when you attacked me."

Free scratched his belly, dry amusement flashing in his eyes. "I mean, one could argue the semantics of whom attacked whom, given that I just said 'hello' and ended up on my-"

Eruka ignored him. "And usually everything I touch dies. Unless they're a God."

"Or immortal."

"Immortal?"

The smile was back, charming and mischievous. "If you come back tomorrow I'll tell you all about it. My sordid past and harrowing adventures will be yours for the listening. Can't give away all my secrets on the first date."

Eruka's face went immediately red. She slapped both her hands against her cheeks, and could feel the heated skin beneath her palms. Eruka didn't want to tell him that she'd basically been watching him bathe everyday for four years, and that at this point he couldn't keep her away, so she just nodded and squeaked out an, "Okay."

His beaming grin was worth it.

From there, they remained sitting together quietly for a long while, Free dozing here and there, and Eruka simply watching the rise and fall of his chest. It was peaceful, and further words seemed to be unnecessary. And if Free noticed or minded her gaze, he didn't mention it.

All too soon, however, Eruka knew she had to leave, and so she rose from the earth and brushed the remnants of dead flowers from the seat of her dress. Free watched her silently, a blank expression on his face.

"I'll come back," Eruka said as she stood over him, suddenly unsure.

He smiled at that, serene as he remained lounging among the flowers, head resting on his arms. "I know."

And then Eruka left, creating a path of death out of the forest. Even if such a thing concerned her anymore, she knew that by the time she returned the next day, her deadened path would be once again revived with swaying wildflowers. For now, however, every living thing which resided within the forest breathed a sigh of relief.

All but one, who watched her retreat with a calculating look.

... .

As Eruka left the mortal realm, stepping through the gates of Hades, she felt a cool calmness wash through her. It was a sensation that bloomed beneath her breast every time she entered the underworld; a queer mixture of rightness, peace, and a painful, hollow loneliness.

The caverns surrounding her were dark and looming, whispering tales of horror and fear, of every terror-filled thought that touched the minds of the dying and the dead. It was maddening, and the constant, pervading stench of death made her sick. What perhaps was worse, however, was the way she felt welcomed in Hades. As though it was the only place she mattered, or would ever matter. The idea wrapped around the marrow of her bones like a chain, locking her in the surrounding darkness.

Just as the fear began to take over her mind, the harsh stone of the hallways gave way to soft sand beneath her toes. She'd reached the shores of the river Styx.

Eruka rubbed her arms roughly, weary after the onslaught of emotion, and walked faster to the small cottage in the middle of the darkness. It was her old home, from before, moved by magic onto the black, sandy beaches of the river Styx. The inside of the home was illuminated by a small fireplace, and the dark waves lapping at the shore danced with reflected firelight.

Relief washed through her as she entered the cottage, the interior stretching out far larger than it appeared to from the outside. It was cozy inside, housing plush furniture and a plethora of odds and ends that riddled the shelves, bookshelves, side tables, and cabinets.

"Eruka?"

Eruka stopped to unbuckle the cloak from her hunched shoulders, breathing through the slew of emotion still attacking her. "Jackson."

"Where have you been."

Eruka pulled the cape off her shoulders and shot a look at her disgruntled companion. "Don't I get a 'welcome home'?" she asked, shaking the black fabric in her hands. A plume of gray dust exploded into the air, making her sneeze.

"I have spent the entire day trying to get rid of the soul that escaped the river, which we both agreed would be your job," Jackson shot back. "I tried all the usual techniques but nothing worked. Apologies if I'm not feeling welcoming at the moment."

Rubbing her nose, Eruka regarded Jackson thoughtfully. He was an odd sort of fellow, though that usually came with being a witch's familiar - former witch's familiar, in this case. He was a tadpole who she had concentrated large amounts of magic into since he'd been an egg. Of course, the goal at the time had been to create a massive frog familiar, but something had gone a tad bit wrong with the spell and she'd instead gotten a largish, round tadpole.

He had thick, bristly brows and jagged teeth, with kind eyes that were only a bit too far apart. Being a tadpole, he also didn't have arms, but a spell to fashion him a pair was easy enough to find. When she'd been chosen as the next Hades, he'd allowed himself to be frozen in time alongside her, ever the faithful assistant.

Now, however, he stood with his magic hands on his extended waist and a pout that brought a distinct line between his squinty eyes.

Sighing, Eruka turned and hung up her cloak with more force than she intended. "What's really the matter, Jackson?"

"The number of souls we're processing daily has gone down by a third. Sooner or later Zeus is going to notice and she's going to be asking questions. More importantly," Jackson paused, as if to brace himself for something horrible. His voice lowered to a whisper when he continued, filled with unspoken horror, "more importantly, I've heard you giggling, Eruka. What is going on with you?"

Eruka frowned down at him. It wouldn't do if Jackson started getting nosy, particularly on the subject of Free. "I'm sorry you had to hear me...giggle. And as for where I've been, I've been out...walking."

"Walking."

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

Jackson glared - as well as his pudgy tadpole face could. He really did have trouble looking anything but adorable, Eruka mused with some sympathy. "When you want to tell me the truth I'll be busy trying to get rid of that stupid soul."

"Jackson…"

"Because it's my job," he cried over his shoulder, slamming the door to his room.

Expelling a weary breath, Eruka turned on her heel and walked to the fireplace, slumping into the plush chair closest to its warmth.

After she'd eaten dinner, Eruka considered her options carefully. She was sitting on the small, threadbare bed inside her room, one which had decayed with use and time over the years. It was admittedly gloomy as far as bedrooms went; the log walls were damp with condensation, and any colour that had been in the fabric had long since faded. She'd tried to make the space more inviting over the years, added a few pretty stones, some picture frames. Her mattress had a handmade bed skirt, which she was quite proud of.

Arms folded and biting her nail in thought, Eruka's gaze drifted to the drawing of Free she'd made several months ago, hung in a picture frame which may have been pink once. The sketch wasn't an exact likeness, but she thought it was pretty decent. His heavily shaded jaw and hooded gaze stared back at her mockingly.

Her foot tapped in agitation.

She wanted him. Free.

Ever since he'd found her in his field that afternoon, a rare feeling of hope had sprouted within her breast. It was addictive.

As Hades, ruler of the underworld, Eruka rarely saw her brethren, most of whom prefered to stay within the gates of Olympus. Not that she was overly fond of the rather incestuous group, but any social contact would be welcome.

This, however, was a chance at romance.

Love.

SEX.

Not that she knew much about any of those topics, but she'd heard really good things about that last one.

If Eruka was being honest, however, she just wanted someone to be her person. A person to talk with, sit with, eat with. Aside from Jackson, the dead were her only company, and they were all a rather self-pitying sort. When she was desperate for interaction she would speak with them, and what they talked of most, in between their moans and pained gargling, were the people they loved and missed most.

They craved contact in a way she'd never understood before becoming Hades, but over the years the lack of touch had made her equally insatiable.

Eruka wanted a person for her own. Someone to touch.

She just needed a plan.

...

"What is that?" Eruka had spent the last several hours panicking over meeting with Free again. She'd buffed the skulls on her dress, straightened her hair free of the little kinks caused by a restless sleep, she'd even worn shoes.

She hated shoes.

When she found him however, kneeling among the flowers within a glade by the river, he was otherwise occupied. Rather than anxiously waiting for her arrival, Free had his hands all over something wriggly and furry and...

Free looked up at her words, smiling brightly as he spotted her. "My dog."

Eruka took a cautious step closer. "Your… dog."

Free continued to scratch the animals butt with one hand and rub its belly with the other. "Yeah, his name is Dog. Isn't that right, Dog? Isn't it?"

The animal coughed up a round ball of fur, farted, and wagged his tail even harder.

"...Right." Eruka stepped closer. "Free, are you aware your dog has three heads?"

"Yeah, he's always been a bit of an odd fella. I figure he was a result of the ol' one upping between the Gods, you know? And after it didn't work they just stuck him in here with me. Good thing I'm here to love the little fella to bits, isn't that right?" After one last belly pat and a butt scratch, Free stood and presented the full force of his groin/grin at Eruka. "You came back."

The words were a stark reminder of the reason for her visit, and Eruka momentarily forgot about the furry freak of nature. Suddenly self-conscious, she brushed at a wrinkle on her dress, face warm. "Yeah, well. I said I would."

No longer distracted by Free's affections, one of Dog's heads swiveled to face Eruka, the other two soon following to give her a curious look. Eruka immediately noticed the sniffing noses directed at her person, and a flash of fear ran through. It was quickly accompanied by the mental image of Free's distraught face at the dead, decaying body of his pet.

"Don't," Eruka growled, pointing a warning finger at the sniffing noses. She took a step back just as Dog took one forward. If she killed this drooling, dirty mess Free would be heartbroken. For reasons of a sexual nature she couldn't let that happen.

As if for the sole purpose of cockblocking her, Dog darted forward. "Free!" Eruka yelped, shuffling back further, darting around and behind him.

One head barked at her, tongues wagging as Dog chased her around Free. Eruka struggled to keep Free's body between her and the animal, with the intent of not accidentally killing his mutant dog. "Free, stop laughing and help me!"

"Okay, okay. Enough playing," Free said, chuckling. "Dog has a sensitive stomach and throws up if he gets too excited and - Woah-ho! Careful there, you almost grabbed my-"

"STOP YOUR FUCKING DOG, YOU IDIOT!"

"Alright, c'mere, Dog. Eruka doesn't want to play right now." Free picked up Dog, who wriggled unhappily as he was lifted over Free's shoulder. "You don't have to worry, you know, about your... condition."

Eruka glared. "I could've killed him!"

Free grinned, creating a wriggly swarm of butterflies within Eruka's abdomen. "No, see, that's what I mean. Dog has had multiple times to kick the bucket and he's still kicking." Free rubbed Dog's butt affectionately. "Just today he fell off a cliff, drowned in a small puddle, and got kicked in all three heads by a deer. And still he's here to share his charming personality with you." Dog scratched his left-most head and farted.

Eruka looked from Dog's wiggling body to Free, the latter of whom watched her calmly.

"Really…?"

A terse nod. "That's why I thought you might like to meet him." Free rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. "I was hoping to make it a surprise, but you came earlier than expected. So...surprise?"

"You wanted to surprise me?" Eruka asked, flattered in spite of herself. A voice in the back of her her mind reminded Eruka of her appallingly low standards. She quickly smothered it.

"Sure." Free let Dog jump down from his arms. "Want to pat him? Sit, Dog." Dog lied down.

With one last hesitant look at Free, Eruka walked up to Dog. His tail wagged at her, several faces slobbering in tandem. Hands trembling, Eruka leaned down to brush the fur atop Dog's middle head. He nosed into her hand, and the foreign sensation caused an acute heat to rise behind her eyes. But the emotions caused by the touch of his fur were nothing next to the sight of his still wagging tail, unhindered by the touch of death.

Eruka quickly moved away, blinking heavily, the feel of warm, soft fur still fresh in her mind. "Thank you," she choked out, clearing her throat. "He's filthy, he needs a bath."

"See what I mean about a God cast-off? I figure they put some crazy shit in his DNA and hoped for the best."

"You shouldn't have risked it. Be more careful with him… in the future, I mean."

Free regarded her silently, absently petting Dog. Then one of his signature grins bloomed on his face, crinkling his eyes and flashing his dimples. "You like him."

Eruka scoffed. "I do not."

"You do. Admit it, you love his furry butt and his widdle feets, and his wet noses, and you'll have to keep visiting me if you want to see more of him."

Eruka rolled her eyes and tucked a lock of hair behind her ears. "I do not, and I always come to see you anyway." Eruka didn't notice anything odd with what she'd said until she looked back to see Free's shocked expression. Her face immediately turned red. "I mean…"

Eruka watched in unveiled horror as realization dawned on Free's face. "No!" she growled, pointing a finger at his nose.

"I wasn't going to say anything!" he insisted quickly, hands up.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop thinking it!"

"Eruka, listen, it's not a big deal," Free chuckled. "Actually, I'm flattered-"

Eruka spun on her heel. "I'm leaving," she grunted through her teeth, stomping away. Her face felt hot and uncomfortable, more noticeable with the breeze brushing her cheeks.

"Wha-Eruka," Free called after her, chuckling lightly under his breath. "Eruka!" He captured her shoulder with one hand and gently turned her around. "You win, we won't talk about anything regarding your-"

Eruka glared.

"...thing. Look, please don't leave yet, you just got here. We can," Free looked around the forest, finger tapping on Eruka's shoulder, "have dinner! I can make you dinner!"

If anything, this increased the intensity of Eruka's blush, but since they weren't talking about her crush anymore, Eruka managed a hesitant nod in response.

"Awesome. You just wait here with Dog while I go find something for us to eat. So just...uh... stay put."

"Free, I said I would."

"And I respect and trust you," Free said solemnly, before turning with a short wave. "Be right back!"

Eruka watched him run off, silently. With each step he took, flowers rose from the earth beneath his feet, curling around one another as their buds formed and bloomed to face the sun. It was a queer and tantalizing sight, though it it didn't stop Eruka from staring at his rear the whole time. Once he'd disappeared into the dark of the forest, she sighed and turned to Dog.

"I hope you realize that Dog is a horrible name," she told him, eyeing each head in turn.

Dog farted.

Eruka wasn't sure how long she waited, though she suspected it was at least half an hour. Dog's farts were pretty systematic that way, at least one every minute or so. For his part, Dog lay snoring against her lap, tongues wagging and foot kicking. Eruka kept her hand on his belly, stroking his stomach and enjoying the warmth of his fur beneath her fingers.

"I once had a dog, you know," she told his slobbery faces, moving her hand to rub the top of one head. "Before I was Hades." Eruka lifted a floppy ear, let it drop. Dog snuffled. "Mainly to harvest his nail clippings and eye scabs. Very good for indigestion potions, you know."

"Sounds tasty."

Eruka jumped at the amused voice behind her, causing Dog to grumble and roll over. "Free!"

"Sorry it took so long, I couldn't find any rabbits so we'll have to settle for some fruit. Look! Pomegranate!"

"I hate pomegranates."

Free chucked the fruit across the field. "So do I." He plopped down on the ground without pause, causing a wave of flowers to rise beneath him. His hand rifled through the basket of fruit and he pulled out a shiny red one. "Apple? I'm assuming it won't shrivel."

Eruka took it, pulling it away as one of Dog's noses sniffed it out in his sleep. "Yeah, Demeter made fruit okay to touch."

"So…" Free began thoughtfully, rolling an orange between his hands. "Do you miss it?"

"Mish wuh?" Eruka asked, biting into her apple.

"You know," Free waved his hand about, appearing to search for words. Finally his voice went comically high as said, "'before I was Hades'?"

Eruka snorted, then proceeded to choke on the apple in her throat. Free leaned over to pat her back good-naturedly. Once she finished coughing, Eruka began laughing. "Is that supposed to be me?" she asked, after she'd recovered, wiping her eyes with a finger. "That was awful."

"My male ego demands that I ignore that statement. Furthermore, you're avoiding the question."

"Male ego, huh?" Eruka plucked a blade of grass outside the circle of dead greenery surrounding her. "I don't really like to think of the 'before' too much. Besides," she flicked the dying blade at Free, "that was a private conversation between Dog and I."

Free reached over to pat Dog, and Eruka's eyes immediately shot to the stretch of muscles in his lower abdomen. "Are you a better conversationalist than I am?" Free asked Dog, rubbing his belly so hard that Dog snorted awake. "Are you?"

When Free leaned upright again, Eruka quickly darted her eyes back to his face. "Not that I blame you, to be honest. He's kept me good company over the years."

"You were going to tell me about your history," Eruka reminded, reaching out with her foot to touch his knee. "You promised."

Free grabbed her foot before she could pull it back and set it on his lap, rubbing his thumb along the edge of her ankle. "I did, didn't I?"

Eruka stared back at him wide-eyed, her face red. The words choked and shriveled in her throat when she attempted to respond, only registering the gentle brush of his thumb against her skin, the flesh of his hand rough but warm. Swallowing thickly, Eruka managed a tight nod.

Free cleared his throat curtly before he started, as if telling a grand story. "Before I was brought here, I lived in a small hunting village."

"A mortal village?"

"...Yes."

"What did you hunt?"

"We, uh, kept busy finding game in the woods, making pelts, that sort of thing."

"Wha-"

Free reached over and grabbed Eruka's hand, squeezing it gently. "Maybe just leave the questions till after I finish, yeah?"

In answer, Eruka kicked her other foot up onto his lap to join the first.

Laughing quietly, Free begun to rub both her feet as he continued, "Anyways, one winter when I was just a boy, I'd been following a wounded elk through a mountain pass. It was my first hunt, and I tracked her for several weeks, following the drops of blood she left in the snow. Just as I was closing in on her-so close I could taste the flesh of her hide on my tongue- I noticed smoke coming from the direction of my home. By the time I returned... none were found alive."

Eruka frowned. "So someone burned your village?" Nails pierced her foot. "Ow!"

"Sorry," Free said, appearing genuinely surprised by his action. He gentled his foot rubbing in apology. "Nobody burned it down. I'm sure it was just an accident."

"Is that when Zeus and Demeter found you?"

He shook his head, sniffing lightly. "Uh, just Demeter, but not until later, after I'd wandered around on my own for a few years. When she did, though, she brought me here. She asked Zeus to enchant the forest, and eventually immortality took hold...and the flower thing. I've been trapped here ever since."

"Oh. Well. I'm sorry about your family," Eruka tried. She wanted to be comforting, because she assumed he'd like that, but emotions tended to confuse her. She'd grown up in a poverty stricken orphanage, so familial loss wasn't something she could even relate to. "Do you want a hug?"

Free smiled at her with genuine affection. "You're sweet. But no, I think I'd rather hear about you."

"Me?" Eruka attempted to think of something positive about her history. After a moment, she turned to him hopefully. "I've killed a bunch of people."

He gave her a blank look, before quickly shaking his head. "Uh...Okay, what about something more personal than that?"

Again, Eruka frowned at him. "Personal?"

Free gently set aside both her feet and leaned in closer, his hand settling on her other side. "I'm sorry for pushing," he murmured. "I just find you so… enchanting."

Eruka's mouth fell open and her apple dropped from limp fingers. "Huh."

Free delicately plucked the apple from her lap and slowly took a bite, directly over the area that Eruka had bitten previously. He maintained eye contact with her as his teeth dug in and ripped the flesh free. Eruka watched with wide eyes as he chewed and swallowed.

He tossed the apple into the basket and moved even closer, so close now that she could feel the heat emanate from his skin. She heard the blackened grass surrounding her crinkle under his palm, and her eyes automatically moved towards the noise.

"Eruka." Her gaze shot up to his, fingers trembling. He caught them with his and pulled her hand into his lap, twining their fingers in a way that had her breath catching. "I'm happy you're with me."

The warmth of him flowed through the contact, and her heart felt swollen in her chest. A sense of anticipation made breathing difficult as Free's other hand palmed her cheek.

"Can I-"

Eruka grabbed Free by his pointed ears and pulled his face to hers. They fell together to the earth, and Eruka could feel the high temperature of Free's body through her gown. Their lips were crushed painfully together, but his mouth was warm, and she could still taste the sweetness of the apple against his tongue. She breathed in deeply the scent of forest and earth.

When Eruka pulled away, she opened her eyes to see Free staring wide eyed back at her, a healthy flush on his face.

"I'm going to get you out of here," Eruka said, breathing hard.

"What?" Free seemed confused by her statement, his eyes clouded. Licking his kiss-swollen lips Free tried to move his head but Eruka kept it locked between her palms. Their faces were hidden from the world by the blue curtain of her hair, and Eruka was loathe to ruin this moment. Affectionately, she brushed the edge of his cheekbone with her thumb.

"Tomorrow you're coming with me to the underworld," Eruka said, unable to smother the urge to lean down and kiss the corner of his mouth.

"What?" Free said, sitting up. He easily broke free from Eruka's hold this time, and caught her by the arms when she would have slid off his chest.

Eruka spat out a lock of hair from her mouth. "Just for a visit, you can't stay forever. I just thought you wanted to get out of here." She paused, hand frozen in her hair. "Unless you don't want to...?"

"No I do!" Free hurried to say. "More than you know, more than anything."

"Then I'll meet you here tomorrow after I've made the preparations," Eruka told him. "Tomorrow we're busting you out of here."

"And Dog."

"...And Dog."

….

"Jackson! JACKSON!" Eruka slammed the front door to the cabin shut and ran to Jackson's room, her footsteps causing the aged floorboards to groan in protest. Sliding around a corner at the end of the hall on an old rug, Eruka slammed into the wall before darting down to Jackson's room. Breathing heavily, she pounded on his door. "Jackson! Get your butt out of bed, I need your help!"

Eruka took a deep breath, hands dragging through her hair. "I'm cool, I'm cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. JACKSON!"

"I'm up, I'm up," Jackson mumbled, opening the door. He rubbed his eyes with his spectral arms. "What's going on, what time is it?"

She waved aside his question. "What do you think would happen if I brought a living thing down here?"

Jackson blinked wearily up at her, clearly still half asleep. "Can we talk about this in the morning? I spent most of last night tracking down that soul."

"Jacksoon."

"Alright, alright. Alright, I said! " Jackson righted his night cap where Eruka had been tugging on it. "...What's the problem?"

"I want to try bringing someone down here."

Jackson appeared noticeably more awake now. "Eruka, when you first became Hades, we spent a year finding everyone who was ever mean to us and lured them through the entrance. We laughed as their skin peeled back and their screams echoed so loudly they could be heard two towns over. It's been a thousand years and they still tell stories about it to scare their children-"

"They were all mortal, what if the person was immortal?"

"Do I really want to know?"

Eruka held her breath a moment, glaring at Jackson. He would not be okay with this, she knew it without having to ask him. Honestly, she couldn't blame him. Had the situation been reversed, she would've laughed in his pudgy little face.

As it happened, she really wanted Free down here with her. Breathing out her nose, Eruka opened her hands placatingly. "I'm inviting my boyfriend and maybe his dog to visit us… probably his dog."

"What!?" Jackson squawked. "Your boyfriend? Eruka, this is completely against the rules."

"So? When have we ever followed the rules?"

"We've been pretty cut and dry for the last millennium, don't you think?" Jackson's usually shrill voice was entering the hysterical range. "Remember? Since we're both terrified of Zeus? The woman who killed the last Hades?"

"I'm not scared of her," Eruka lied.

"You hid in your room the last three times her servant came to the underworld. You made me talk to her!"

"You thought she was cute!"

"SHE'S TERRIFYING!"

Eruka took a deep breath. "Alright, look. If you help me, I'll help you with that soul you can't catch."

But Jackson wasn't listening to her, his face once more buried in his hands. "We are going to be in so much trouble," he moaned, voice muffled. "This is going to end up horribly wrong, I know it."

Eruka rolled her eyes and grabbed Jackson with both hands, shaking him hard enough to dislodge his pajama hat. "Jackson! I need to know how to get someone out of a magic cage without killing them."

He glared up at her a long moment, in which neither moved. Finally something seemed to give behind Jackson's eyes as he sighed. "Fine," he relented, before pointing a stern finger at Eruka. "But we are having a long talk about this when I'm more awake-"

"Whenever you want."

Jackson squinted his eyes at her, but seemed to take her word for it. "Alright. Have him put clover in his pocket, and make sure he's chewing mint when he exits. I have some spare mint, but you'll have to find clover while you're up there."

"Thank you, Jackson." Eruka leaned down to hug him quickly. "I knew I could rely on my pudgy assistant."

"Partner. And you better not forget about the soul again!"

... .

It was early when Eruka entered the forest; the sun not yet risen above the tips of the evergreen trees, casting an amber glow throughout the meadow. Eruka sneezed as the soft breeze blew pollen in her face, then sneezed again as the pollen turned to ash in her nostrils. "Can't-choo! Can't catch a fucking break," she muttered, wiping a copious amount of snot from her nose with an arm.

Ever since she'd been deemed the next Hades, most living things seemed to go out of their way to ruin her life. It was a depressing contrast to the life she'd lived before, one rich with herbs, greenery, and admittedly a fair amount of dissection. Even that was more "circle of life" than the unholy ability she now possessed. Not that she'd ever been particularly concerned about being "holy".

In either case, the sooner she found Free, the sooner she could get away from this wretched-

"Aahh!" she yelled as she tripped on a tree root into a nearby bush. More specifically a prickle bush, with thorns that dug into her skin through her dress. "Ow, ow, ow-AAHH!" Eruka jerked away from the hands that grabbed her under the arm, pulling her up and out of the decaying bush.

"Easy, there. It's just me," Free laughed, reaching over to detangle the roots still wrapped around her foot. "Having trouble over here?"

"Don't you look down on me," Eruka snapped, face flushed. She kicked at nearby greenery in an attempt to free herself before twisting around, still a tad unsteady, to point an aggravated finger at him. "I used to be amazing with plants!"

"Uh, huh," Free brushed off the ash from her dress, "and was this before or after you touch it?"

Eruka slapped his hands aside. "I can dust off my own bottom, thank you!"

"Sorry, guess I'm just a bit excited," admitted Free, releasing her once she was steady. As she plucked off a few stragglers from her dress, Eruka noted that Free did look quite excited. His usual bright smile was working double time today, even despite the sheepish look on his face. Altogether he looked rather boyish, or at least as boyish as a nearly 7 foot, heavily muscled, naked man could look.

A loud bark had her jumping to the side, and she looked down to see Dog's tail wagging as he looked up at her, three tongues hanging out of his three mouths.

"Yes, I see you. Hello, Dog."

"Everything alright?" he asked, calming somewhat as he regarded her. The blinding smile dimmed. "You seem a bit out of sorts today."

Eruka sighed from where she'd crouched down to greet Dog, her fingers tangling in his warm fur. "Yes, just nervous, I suppose." She looked up at him, then down at Dog. Her free hand waved around flippantly as she struggled for words. "Sorry for...snapping at you."

"Water under the bridge," Free assured, though his voice sounded somewhat distracted as he patted her roughly on the shoulder. His eyes kept darting to the still dark forest around them, and Eruka struggled not to take the opportunity to study the way the morning light illuminated his pecs. His voice lowered as he continued, "I would, however, like to leave sooner rather than later if it's all the same."

"Oh, of course." Eruka ignored Dog's grumpy whine as she pulled her hand away to stand, reaching into the bag she'd brought with her. Careful not to open it and risk touch the living herbs within, Eruka pulled out a small metal box that Jackson had prepared. "I brought some supplies for you before we go through the exit."

Free visibly perked up. "The exit, you know where it is?"

Eruka waved her hand behind her. "Yeah, it's just back there. About a hundred metres. Before that, though, I need you to pick up this green thing-the other green thing... Good, now chew on it."

He made a face as he chewed. "I don't like this. What is it?"

"It's mint. And you don't have to like it, just keep chewing," she ordered. "Now this is clover, you need to stick it in a pocket as you exit of the forest."

"Pocket?"

"Yeah, like a pouch in your...ah." Eruka regarded Free's naked body. "This might be a problem."

"Problem?"

"I don't suppose you have shorts tucked away somewhere?"

Free folded his arms, a frown set sternly on his face. "If you're asking if I have any clothes, the answer is no."

"Look, Free, I respect and encourage your…" she gestured vaguely to his crotch, "nudist agenda, but this clover needs to go in a pocket."

Free was silent for several moments, and Eruka could see the indecision in his eyes. Finally, he seemed to come to a resolution as a look of determination flashed across his face. Resolutely, he took the box.

"Don't let Dog follow me," Free told her solemnly as he walked towards a cluster of trees. "I don't want him to see this."

….

"You good?"

"I'm fine."

"You just look a little green."

"Eruka."

Laughing, Eruka grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the portal. Just as her foot touched the edge, a fat drop of rain splashed against the tip of her nose. Surprised, she rubbed the spot. "Wha…? It never rains here."

Free looked back at the forest as Eruka squinted up at the thundering sky. The clouds lit and crackled in rapid succession as thunder roared, accompanied by pouring sheets of sputtering rain.

"She knows I left," Free warned, face grave as he turned to Eruka. "We need to hurry."

"What, you think the rain is her fault?"

He nodded. "I've seen her mad before. Rain, thunder, lightning - the woman is very dramatic."

"You think she's mad? Why would she be mad?"

"...Maybe she thinks someone is taking me against my will? Don't worry about it, let's just go."

"This is not good," Eruka muttered, pulling Free through the portal. He easily slipped through, but Eruka didn't stop moving, her hold on his arm firm. Dog followed happily, barking as he stuck close to their heels. "Not good, not good. Jackson is going to love this."

"He's going to what?" Free yelled over the storm.

"Love this! He's a bit of a vindictive shit like that," she answered, pausing in front of a large rock wall. She released Free's arm to rummage through her bag till she found a large stick of chalk.

"What are you doing?"

Eruka hurriedly began to outline a messy box big enough for them both. "I'm making a door," she explained, gently scootching Dog aside when his heads tried to lick her face as she sketched the bottom. "The actual entrance to Hades is too far for us to reach without flying or killing ourselves. Both of which are at this time impossible."

"I guess I always imagined something more… sophisticated?"

"Well, it isn't a conventional method of travel, per say, but it get's the job done." Eruka finished her line neatly and stepped back, pushing her wet hair away from her face. "There."

A moment later, the white chalk darkened to a deep, consuming black that crawled inward, filling in the gaps within the chalk till the black encompassed the entire square.

"Follow me," Eruka said, grasping his hand again. "And clench that clover."

"Roger that," Free said hoarsely.

They entered through the doorway, pushing through a wall of cool air that signalled the descent into Hades. The hallway was stone, as though carved from the mountain, and it was completely dark aside from a faint glow in the distance. Eruka tugged Free through when he hesitated, and Dog hurried to follow, pressing close to her leg.

"I think the clover just died in my butt crack."

"Yeah, that happens down here. Unless it's grown in the underworld, everything living dies," Eruka looked at Dog, Free, then down at the flowers defying logic by bursting through the stone ground beneath Free's feet. A trail of pink, blushing roses was left in their wake. "...Usually. Anyway, we're heading up to the hallway of the inner sanctum now. I live in a cabin on the river Styx, just up ahead."

"We're here? I thought the underworld was...y'know… under world? We haven't exactly gone far."

"The door was a portal. Also Hades isn't so much 'under world' as it is apart from it."

"Why do I feel so sad all of a sudden?" Free asked, stepping closer. His arm brushed against hers and Eruka shivered from the warmth. The sensation caused her own gnawing sadness to deplete somewhat, and she found herself breathing easier.

"It's the emotions of the dead," Eruka responded, speaking over Dog's whimpers. "It's only temporary. By the time we reach the cabin your body will acclimate and it won't affect you any longer." She squeezed his hand. "It's better with company."

He shot her a small smile, and together with Dog they hurried down the hallway.

…..

Soft, black sand gave way under their feet as they exited the hallway and arrived at the darkened banks of the river Styx. While still dimly lit, the faint blue glow which permeated from the otherworldly river was far preferable to the cavernous pathway they'd just traveled through. Relieved to finally be home, Eruka pulled the group onward and together they scrambled across the shore to the small cabin in the distance.

"Wait here," Eruka said, halting Free from going up the steps to the door. "I need to mentally prepare Jackson."

"You've mentioned him before, who is he?" Free asked, reaching down to pick up a wriggly Dog.

"My assistant-"

"Partner."

Eruka whirled around to face the aggravated expression on Jackson's pudgy face. "Jackson! Uh, this is Free. And Dog. Who I mentioned were both coming to visit today."

"Right. Your boyfriend," Jackson said glibly, crossing his arms.

"Boyfriend?" Free repeated.

"Jackson!" Eruka hissed, before turning back to Free. "Sorry, can you excuse us for a minute? There are a few trees over there if you follow the shore line, just don't eat anything or you'll be stuck here. It's lovely, I promise."

Free glanced between Jackson and Eruka, taking in the aggravation on both their faces. "Yeah, that sounds good. C'mon, Dog." Giving Eruka a quick thumbs up, Free swung Dog under his arm and sauntered off, a merry skip in his step.

Eruka waved till he'd walked a far enough distance before spinning around. "Jackson!" Eruka hissed. "He doesn't know he's my boyfriend yet!"

"Are you even listening to yourself!?" Jackson shot back, floating down the steps of the cabin to her level. "You said we'd talk about this before you did anything!"

"He's just visiting for awhile," Eruka assured. "I'll take him back to the forest tomorrow. Please, Jackson. I really like him." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "I got my first kiss today. I'm pretty sure there was tongue."

"Ugh, I didn't need to know that." Jackson rubbed his eyes and looked at Eruka, who had contorted her face into a look which was meant to resemble sincerity. He sighed. "And he'll be gone tomorrow? Before Zeus finds out?"

"I promise. Witch's honour."

Jackson gave a pained look, but he eventually nodded. "Alright then, but I refuse to apologize."

Eruka grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the outcrop of trees that Free and Dog had walked to. "You'll like him, I know it. He's lovely, and hot, and he never wears clothes."

Jackson laughed in that way that told her he wasn't at all amused. "I noticed. Where did he put the clover?"

Eruka linked their arms, and gave him a shove. "Where do you think?" she asked wickedly.

"Honestly, Eruka, I'm concerned."

Eruka cackled in response and tugged him along the shore they'd called home for nearly a millennium. Together they had conquered death and forged their own place among the Gods. Even with this wondrous and new obstacle, they would come out on top. And Eruka would hopefully get a new boyfriend.

"Eruka?" Jackson's voice tore her from her musings.

"Hm?" she asked, startling as she looked down at the horror on his face. "What is it? What's wrong?"

When he didn't respond, Eruka followed his stricken gaze to see Free in the distance. He sat amongst the plethora of fruit trees that grew within the underworld, his face red with the juice of the dissected pomegranates surrounding him. Like blood, it dripped from his fingers onto the bed of flowers that grew beneath him. Dog licked up the juice happily.

It might as well have been blood, for all the horror Eruka felt watching him consume the fruit. Before she could fully process what she was seeing, she was running. Jackson called her name but she ignored him, black sand kicking up from her heels as she raced towards the man gorging himself in her garden.

"F-Free…" she gasped, tripping to a halt before him. Her chest heaved. "What are you doing?"

He looked up, and for the first time Eruka noticed a certain wolfish-ness about him. He offered her his crooked smile, but it was decidedly more menacing than it had ever been before. Her heart wrenched painfully at the sight.

His eyes not leaving her, Free stretched out languidly against the flowers, slowly crossing his legs and folding his arms behind his head. "This place is pretty alright," Free told her, letting out a loud belch. "Got any more pomegranates?"

"I told you not to eat anything!" Eruka yelled. "I was very clear!"

Free bit into another pomegranate, ripping its flesh open. "Yeah, see, you also said that this was a visit. Meaning temporary."

"I...yes? What does that have to do with anything? You said you didn't even like pomegranates!"

He levelled her with a blank look. "I'm not going back, Eruka. Not for you, not for anyone."

"But Zeus-!"

"Not anyone, Eruka."

"But...pomegranates!"

Free threw his arms open. "They're delicious, Eruka! Everyone likes them!"

"You said-!" Eruka cut herself off. She wasn't sure why she was so focused on the pomegranates. Perhaps because it was far less painful than the other betrayal that went unspoken. Emotion thick in her throat, she floundered for something else to say, but only managed a weak, "I don't understand."

Free scratched one of Dog's heads, deliberately sinking deeper into the plume of flowers beneath him. "Well, you better figure it out quick, Eruka. We're going to be neighbours for quite a while."