What Makes a Family

Before I came to live with my mom and brothers, I did not know what it meant to be loved or belong to a family. I often prayed to have a family, but I did not understand what it meant to be part of one. Going from foster home to foster home and never having a family, I never knew what it was like to belong, to be wanted and loved. All I ever knew were slaps, belts, being starved, locked in closets, and told that I was bad, dirty, and worthless.

When I came to live with my mom and brothers, my mother explained that belonging to a family meant caring for another, always being there for one another in the good times and in the bad, feeling safe, and loving one other.

My mom also explained to me that blood did not make a family. Love is what makes a family. As long as we love each other, that's all that matters, she said, not blood or color. She explained to me that she had chosen us to be her sons which made us even more special.

Mom did not see us in color, she saw us as her sons. My brothers and I also did not see each other in color; we saw each other as brothers. I've seen biological brothers that aren't close or can't even stand each other. That has never been the case with us. We are very close, and share a bond with each other that most biological brothers don't. We are not bonded by blood, but our bond runs deeper. We love each other immensely, are always there for each other, and would do anything for one another. We are real brothers. When someone tells us that we are not real brothers, we tell them that yes we are, because we are real brothers. We chose to be brothers and we chose to be a family and that makes it even more special.

I will never forget when I first came to live with my mom and brothers and started a new school, I was eight. One afternoon, I was waiting outside the school for Bobby to pick me up and three boys were picking on me. "You don't have a Mom or Dad" "That lady isn't your real Mom" "You're an orphan, my Mom said so" "And those boys you live with aren't your real brothers "Yeah you're not all the same color" they said. I was crying quietly and had my head down. I just stood there staring at the ground. Suddenly Bobby appeared "Hey" I heard him say. "Stop saying that to him" "He does have a Mom and a family, Evelyn is his Mom, she loves him very much and so do we, his big brothers". "Don't you ever let me hear you say those things to him again you hear me?" The boys were so scared that they ran away. I just stood there, crying quietly, sniffling, and looking at the ground. "Hey Jackie don't listen to them" Bobby said as he picked me up in his arms and carried me to the car. I cried in the car and was still crying when we got home. Bobby carried me from the car into the house, while I cried on his shoulder."Shh, it's okay Jackie" he said as he rubbed my back. "What happened?" Jerry and Angel asked when they saw me crying. "Some boys were picking on him" Bobby said to them. "Hey it's okay little guy" "Don't cry" Jerry said to me. "What did they say to him?" Angel asked. "That he was an orphan and that Mom isn't his real Mom" Bobby told them. "They also said that we weren't his real brothers, because we are not all the same color". "Don't listen to them little man" Jerry said to me as I lifted my head up from Bobby's shoulder to look at him. "Evelyn is your Mom and you are her son; we are all her sons. She loves you very much and so do we" he said. "We love you baby brother" Angel said. "I love you too" I said. "It doesn't matter what color we are, we love each other and would do anything for each other; that's all that matters" "We are brothers" Jerry said. "Brothers forever till the end" Bobby said. "Four brothers" Angel said.