One-Shot: Sheldon and Penny Kiss

It was a late night in the apartment building. But Leonard was up, drinking a cup of coffee in his bathrobe. Sheldon now came in, also clad in a bathrobe.

"Why are you up?" Sheldon demanded.

"I was supposed to be asleep. I've been married less than 24 hours and my wife isn't speaking to me," Leonard replied morosely. He had married, Penny, his neighbor across the hall, earlier that day.

"Perhaps you can think of this in a more positive light," Sheldon suggested, as he crossed to the refrigerator. "In one day, you've managed to do what it takes many couples decades to achieve."

There was Sheldon, always throwing shade and not even aware of it. Leonard had grown accustomed to it by now.

Just then, with a knock, Penny came in. "Hey."

"Hi," Leonard straightened upon seeing his wife.

"You couldn't sleep either?" she guessed.

"Of course not," Leonard lied.

"Me neither. But I just had a tickle in my throat," Sheldon offered up, even though neither one of them was talking to him. "Not profound marital problems."

Leonard and Penny, the newlyweds, now faced each other. "What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know," Penny shrugged.

"Please... tell me how I can fix it!"

"I'm glad you asked!" Sheldon inserted himself into the conversation. "As I see it, there's a simple solution. Your lips had a dalliance with the lips of another woman. It seems logical that to restore balance to the relationship, you -" he pointed to Penny, " - should find another man and dally with him. And by dally, I mean, some hard-core, mouth-on-mouth action."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Leonard finally voiced his opinion.

But Penny was thinking about it. "Actually, I think he's onto something."

"Well, I... I... you can't be serious! Cause I... messed up and kissed a girl, you're gonna do the same with a random guy?" Leonard spluttered.

"I'm currently single," Sheldon offered himself up.

Penny regarded him curiously, her mouth pursed in thought. "That's true, you are," she marveled.

Leonard stared. Where was this going? "What is happening?" he nearly screeched.

Sheldon stared at him perfectly serious. "I will tell you what is happening! I am saving my best friend's marriage!"

And then he pulled Penny to him by the head and kissed her right on the lips. His other hand went about her waist as she draped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, even though her husband was standing right there. Then, Penny hooked her leg around Sheldon's torso...

Leonard woke up in bed, with a start. But Penny, his wife, wasn't there...